Midnight Moon
by urtwilightbuddy11
Summary: POST BREAKING DAWN: Through a strange twist of events that unfold into something more than Bella or her family can ever imagine, Bella is faced with a catastrophic decision: Should she forfeit her own life so her family can become human again?
1. Bella's Letter

Dear Alice,

When you are human, and have a normal life, what do you live for? College? Family? Vacations? Love….? What do you live for when every thing in life is not enough to live for?

I came across this question many times when I came to live in Forks, the rainiest place in the continental US with my dad who I had left with my mom when I was 2. I often would stay up at night, thinking about life, and asking myself what do you live for, when all things in life are not enough to live for? Everything thing in my life was too mundane, and there was nothing to spark up my life. Nothing to be my spark of light in the darkest times. Someone to love more than anyone else. Then I saw Edward. Edward Cullen. Edward, the love of my life, The only person in the whole world, who I loved more than myself, and was willing to die for. The only one who put a smile on my face and made me feel well and safe. The one I would do anything to live with. His too perfect angelic face, his smooth, cold, dazzling skin, and the fact that he loved me more than I loved him (Or so he thought) made me want to live with him forever. Edward, his adoring family, and his secret . The secret I would bring to my death bed.

The fact that Edward was a vampire and his family had accidentally tried to kill me didn't frighten me at all. As long as I could look at his face, and know that he was mine, I didn't care where I was or what I had to go through to be with him. Damn, I would run through fire for him, or less dramatically become a vampire for him. As long as I could be by him, and know that he belonged to me, I didn't care about anything else or who I was.

My love with Edward and the danger it caused to be human while being by him and his vampire family always caused a distant threat, and that made him leave me. He left so I would be safe. Those 8 months were hell on earth. My personal hell waiting for me every time I went to sleep, or did something that reminded me of him. I had a hole in me. When he left, it seemed like half of myself was missing, and it appeared that I would never be able to live wholly again until I got that other half back. I was not myself. A part of me was missing, and I couldn't find the missing piece.

I also lacked life. Since Edward was gone, what was there to live for? Everything in my life didn't matter, and it wasn't enough. I was stuck in a place where I didn't belong. I truly believed that I didn't belong human, and was stuck in a time warp I didn't know how to get out of. I was not made to be human. I was made to be with him. Made to be with Edward.

Edward left me for my own sake, believing I was just human and would get over it. Edward was afraid because I got involved in all his vampire issues, and being human by them was so dangerous. But, he didn't know that I didn't care what I had to go through to be by him. Or, I thought he didn't know. He promised it would be like he never existed. He also said….. He wouldn't see me anymore. Oh, sure was he wrong. I became a rebel, and realized I could hear his comforting, velvet voice in my head whenever I did something stupid. Just to hear his voice after him leaving me, afraid I would forget the sound of his voice and the look of his face, made me happy, or at least better. It made the pain _bearable_. It also made me forget for a few seconds that he was actually gone, and those illusions truly made me believe that he still cared for me. So, I began cliff diving and riding motorcycles so I could hear his voice and be reassured that he still did care. But, my Edward, who heard from his sister Alice who could see the future, that I was cliff diving, so he thought I was dead, and went to a ruling vampire family in Italy called the Volturi to irritate them and make them kill him. He went there because he couldn't live without me, and I was sure I would have done the same thing if the situation was reversed. It was like your other half was taken from you, and the other piece which you still had, died. It was no more. I was his life now. If I died, he'd die. It was as simple as that. We were one, two puzzle pieces that were different but fit together.

But, I stopped Edward, and he came home with me to Forks, and promised that he would never leave me again. So, since I knew I wanted to live with Edward forever, I wanted to become a vampire just like him. I so wanted it. Nothing in my life was worth living if I couldn't be with Edward forever. But, he said under one condition, I had to marry him first. So, I did, and that was the best day of my life. Edward legally belonged to me, and I belonged to him, though, we would not part till death, for that technically wasn't the right way to put it. We would never part. Never. Even if death did find one of us, the other would quickly follow.

On our honeymoon, I got pregnant, and my baby who was half vampire half human was killing me inside out. Edward wanted to take the thing out, but how could I allow him to do that to this baby inside of me that was a part of him and me? When it was time for the baby to come, it bit its way out of the womb, and Edward had to bite to get the baby out. During all this, I remember very vaguely falling into darkness, and feeling an intense burning feeling that I would have traded any day for peaceful death. The darkness was so tempting in the midst of the intense, indescribable burning pain. I was almost on the verge of slipping into the darkness and not coming up, when I thought of Edward, and my baby. It was de'ja'vu for me because wanting to fall into darkness reminded me of when I was stuck in the ocean, and I so wanted to slip into the water were I saw Edward and get away from the pain I was feeling without him. I pulled through for them and it was so worth it. While slipping into darkness, Edward bit me, and saved me from death. His venom changed me, and with one more heart beat, my heart stopped, and my human life was over. I was glad. I didn't belong human. I was different. A mutation in the human nature.

I was worried that being a newborn vampire would be hard and difficult for me, but I found that I could resist humans and their divine smell. I also found to my surprise, that I was still me, Bella. I felt the same, still loved Edward as much as I did when I was human. And, in fact, my desire for him increased. The desire for him was so great, only an eternity could satisfy it.

And here I am right now. I'm living with the love of my life, not living, more like…I don't know, experiencing my dream rather than living my life! Experiencing a dream most women would die to live. Experiencing a dream one of a kind. A dream you soon discovered you didn't want to get out of, or leave. A dream you would never get sick of, and would trade for anything to have. Even your own life. But, if you were given a chance to become human again after facing the disadvantages of being a vampire, and live a normal human life, would you take the chance, or would you rather be certain that you could live forever with the one you love? What would you do if the one you loved wanted to become human, and you didn't want to wake up out of the beautiful and extraordinarily perfect dream you were experiencing to find that the one you loved had lost his soul, and would never come back? What would you choose? Would you chose?

With love,

Bella.


	2. Preface

**PREFACE**  
I looked into the eyes of the ones who I had looked at so many times before. Their eyes were sparkling with the intensity and desire to kill. We were their prey, and they were the hunters. I was not afraid, though I knew we were all in mortal danger. But, still, I was not afraid. Not afraid of what was going to happen, or what they were going to do. I felt well. Whole. All the strands of my life that were tattered and set astray, were found, and were in place again. Like they had never been scattered and torn in the first place. If I was going to die, I was going to with the ones I loved. I didn't care about anything else. I didn't care where I went after this. Anywhere with Edward and my family would be just as fine as heaven or better. Our hunter enclosed on us and we knew we were trapped. But, I had hope. Had hope that we would stay together after this. Our hope was a little light in the night sky that would refuse stop shining.

I was staring at Edward and the next to my side completely unaware of the danger around us. I was happy. We weren't going to die alone. We would always be together, no matter what. No matter what got in between us. We were whole. One piece. The other wouldn't die without the other piece following. We were together. Nothing could break the hold we had with each other. Nothing. Even the hunters who desired to kill us, could not separate us.

"I love you, more than my own life," he whispered into my hair. "Goodbye." I hugged him closer to me. We would always be together. There would be no goodbyes. I promised myself that. The hunters attacked, and we slipped into the blind darkness.. ……………….together.


	3. Second Thoughts

_I looked out the rain streaked window into the empty darkness onto the little lake outside our room. The full moon was glistening in the night, and the lake reflected its beauty . The moon, so beautiful and peaceful, stared at me like I was some kind of criminal, as I was deep in thought and laying in Edward's arms. I felt safe and protected, and so I was thinking about how the moon, so beautiful and peaceful, got it source of happiness and light from the sun. Sorta of like how I got my light from Edward. I thought of how that moon would be without the sun. Cold, lonely. Like it was in pain. That's how I thought of Jacob Black and me when Edward left. My best friend, who I had not chosen to spend the rest of my life with. The one who brought happiness and light to me when my Edward left, left me in pain. My life was so lacking of life, and I was alone, but Jacob, my personal sun, brightened it, and eased and covered up the hole I had in me that was tearing me apart. Jacob loved me, and I wished he was my brother, so I wouldn't have to hurt him when I chose Edward over him. But, I did. My personal sun, the light that gave life to me in my darkest and loneliest times, was in pain. Pain that I felt. Pain that I caused. Pain that as long as I tried to get rid of would never cease. Pain that I would never be able to ignore and get over. Or heal from. Pain that was apart of me. But, I had hope. Had hope that the pain would lessen, and my Jacob, who I loved so much, would find his soul mate, the one who made him happy, and brought light to his life like he had to mine. _

_ As I was thinking about the fact that Jacob had found his soul mate, I was suddenly brought out of my thoughts as I heard a small knock on the door. Edward lessened his hold on me and got up with a groan, and I took myself out of his strong, protective arms. Edward didn't seem too happy to have me out of his arms. He went over to the door, with a look I couldn't distinguish, and opened the door with a quick, graceful movement any ballerina would envy. And, there, standing in the doorframe holding a blanket half her size was my 18 month old daughter, who resembled more of a 5 year old than a 2 year old. She had a distressed look on her face, like she was worrying about a test that was in 1 day and had not studied for. My first thought when I saw her standing there was surprise, because my daughter, our daughter, Renesmee, never woke up in the middle of the night. This worried me, and a million thoughts went through my head. Edward seemed to be thinking the same thing when I glanced over at him. His face was pale. Well, paler than usual. I could see it in the faint light glowing from the table lamp beside the bed. I could see the worry in his eyes, and the urge to grab Renesmee and run. I quickly got of the bed, and ran towards Edward who was facing Renesmee, and was lost in thought. _

_ "Edward? What's happening?" When I said this, Edward didn't acknowledge me, but with a quick, angry voice answered my question. _

_ "Grab Renesmee, and meet me outside." For an instant, I wanted to do what he said, but a little voice in the back of my head told me to stay. I planted my feet on the carpet waiting for an explanation. I knew I trusted Edward, but, what was so bad that he would be even paler than he actually was. _

_ "But…why?", I stumbled out slowly. I looked at Edward and he looked aggravated and worried at the same time. _

_ "Just do what I say Bella!" _

_ "Bu-"_

_ "Bella! This is serious. Just do what I say!" I gave up and quickly ran through the house then was out the door in literally a few seconds. There, I went to sit on a gray rock by the little pond in front of the cottage. I looked up at the night sky, and saw the stars glistening like any other night. I took my eyes off the stars, and glanced over to the tree where I saw Edward standing. It pained me to see the worry, sadness, and disbelief in his face. The look on his face resembled the look on a face of a father who just registered the fact that his only child had been killed in a horrible, tragic accident. Under the willow tree that looked like a cage with extended arms, was Edward, standing there. Without thinking, I ran towards him with Renesmee in my arms, and was at his side in an instant. _

_ "Bella?" he called, in a breathless voice free from anger or distress, but full of sadness and fierceness. And to my surprise, he took my face in his hands, and kissed me urgently, fiercely, like he was afraid we only had so much time to be together. I kissed him back with a fierceness that I hoped showed the desire, love, and distress I was feeling. At that moment, desire, and wonder was rushing through my veins, and I brought myself back to look at that moment on reality. I took my lips from his, and stared at him in confusion. So many questions were raging through my head at one time, but the involuntary instinct of protecting my daughter was overwhelming me. I so wanted to run at that moment and want to get away from the look on Edward's face, but, I had to ask him first what was going on. _

_ Like Edward had been reading my thoughts which I knew he couldn't, he replied, "Renesmee, has…seen, seen things. There is trouble. I don't know how to explain this to you, but….the Volturi…_

_ At that moment, he stopped, and my worry and curiosity took over. He glanced over to the pond for a moments and then I sensed he was crying. Crying without tears. Before I could touch or comfort him, he brought himself together, and my curiosity and comforting side took over. _

_ "Edward, are you ok?" I instantly regretted that question. That was a stupid question, does he look ok? _

_ "Yah, but no. Just ask me another question so I'll…..be able to tell you what's going on." He shook his head as he said this. _

_ His words surprised me. If he wanted me to know something, he would have just immediately spit it out after the promise he made with me a few years ago. _

_ "What do you mean Volturi? What, are they..going to do?" I glanced back ant Edward from the pond, and stared into his gravitational eyes. _

_ Edward then replied in a voice that sounded like he again was starting to cry, "They're going to do something so terrible, horrible, repulsive, that it's not safe to live here anymore, or……anywhere." He stumbled at this words, and his voice broke. I went over his words in my head a couple of times in order to even figure out what he had just said. My mind was going through a million thoughts a second most of them being confused and concerned. _

_ "What do you mean, Edward? They are coming here again? Is that what Renesmee has seen? Edward, please. Just tell me." I put my head in the hair of my daughter who I was holding, not expecting an answer. I then looked up when Edward then replied in a regretful voice, "They are going to end all the ways we know the world today. Everything. All vamp-" He struggled at his words. I put my arms around him urging him to continue. -"Is. Going. To. Be Destroyed." I suddenly gasped, and I tightened my hold on Renesmee, and reached my hand for Edward's. I suddenly knew what was happening. All of the past events were building up to this. But, I didn't know they were adding something as horrible as this. I could feel the lump in my throat. I was crying. That was not surprising. But, there were no tears. Tears would do nothing in this situation. This was too intense for tears even if I was capable of making them. _

_ I wasn't sure what would happen. I didn't know what to do. I felt so hopeless. It reminded me when I was human and was standing on the side lines of a fight. I didn't know what I could to do. I reached my hand for Edward's not knowing what to do at that moment. He took mine willingly, and kissed me again, like he too didn't know what to do, and couldn't stop what was going to happen._

I Recovered from my flashback, and looked at my surroundings. A forest. Wet. Prey. I jumped on the huge, brown, grizzly bear in front of me. It stared at me like it was pleading for mercy. It probably was. It sensed danger and clawed at me. But, he couldn't. My skin was like granite. Hard as rock. Scratch proof. I carefully arched by body around its and put my teeth in its neck. The blood went down my throat and clenched the burning pain in my mouth. The taste, was extraordinary. It was like you were given water after running a marathon . It would be a relief if you were human, of course. But, I wasn't.

I took my arms off the grizzly, and let it plop down onto the wet, green ground. It bounced onto the ground with a thud. I glanced at myself for a second. My jeans and white t shirt weren't that tattered, but I could do better.

I took my eyes off myself and put them on the lifeless bear laying on the ground a few feet in front of me. Being a vampire, a _vegetarian _vampire, you didn't think a second about the animal you were killing. For it was better than ending an innocent human's life or _lives_. But, I felt pity for this animal right now. I was ending its life. An innocent bear's life who would have lived a normal bear life. I felt bad. But, it is the natural life cycle. Predator vs. Prey. It has always been like that. Always will. And the Predator, always won. There was no second thought about that. That was life. But, because of my existence, the bear died. If I was not a vampire this bear wouldn't be dead. One more life saved. I was a monster. A vampire.

I registered that thought in my head. For the first time in my vampire life, I felt like a monster. However, I really difn'y regret it. I would kill the damn grizzly in order to live with the one I loved most. But, still. I felt like the bad guy. Underneath everything, I really was. I wasn't the hero, I was the villain. The vampire. The one who killed. The one every body was afraid of.

I stood in front of the bear for a few minutes thinking about who I was. I stared into the eyes of my victim and saw endless darkness. A wave of pity surged through me. The blackness in its eyes was as eternal and deep as the guilt and sadness flowing through my veins at that moment. I quickly jerked my head away from the bear and put my eyes on the sky. Full of clouds as usual. Rain was about to drop from the sky. I could smell it. I couldn't dare to look at the bear any more. It made me feel worse than I really was. I settled for sitting on a large rock by a tree on the right side of me. Though, I wasn't tired, I needed to sit down.

"Bella?" he called in a tone of urgency. It was Edward at the end of the clearing; his hair was windblown from running. He was as extraordinarily beautiful as always, but his lips were pulled down in a frown.

"I'm here," I said. It wasn't a statement telling him where I was, it was telling him I was sad and something was wrong.

"Bella, what's wrong. Are you okay?" He walked over and put his hand around my waist and took my face in his hands. I stared into his deep, gravitational eyes and wondered how I ever survived his intense glare when I was human. Right now, even being a vampire, his eyes still had the same affect on me. I shoke my head to somehow return to my train of thought.

"It's nothing for you to worry about," I said. I took my eyes off his face and looked away.

He made me put my eyes on him again. "It's everything for me to worry about."

When he said things like this, it always took me breath away. It made me feel like I was someone's everything. After all, _he_ was my everything. My life revolved around him. He was the sun, and I was the earth. I was kept in track by the gravity of him.

I never liked hiding things from Edward unless it was absolutely necessary. He was a part of me, and keeping something from myself was what you could imagine quite difficult. So, I gave up.

" I.. feel guilty. I feel like a… monster." I didn't want to tell him I felt a lot worse than that, but I knew once he knew it would become a big deal.

I glanced at the bear across the clearing and Edward followed my gaze.

He gazed at the bear for a second and understood. "I see," he replied in a comforting tone.

Of course he knew. With any other person or being, he would've know in an instant because he could read their minds. I always took comfort knowing that he couldn't hear everything I was thinking, but at this moment, I wanted it more than ever. I didn't want to say anything, it would just make the pain worse. Another strand of my stitched up life might come loose if I lied to him. It would kill me more than it would kill him.

I took my eyes off the large, mossy tree across the empty space of land adorned with moss and rocks, and forced them on the bear.

" It's just, that…. I've ended an innocent life. And, if it… wasn't for me, this bear would be alive. I feel like I've just killed a human." I decided to not tell him that if it wasn't for my existence this bear wouldn't be dead. I didn't want to bear to see him go through pain. It was my choice to become a vampire after all . Not his. Though, he was the reason I became one.

Edward raised his arm from his side, and stroked the side of my face lingering on my cheek bones. His skin was always silky smooth, and it was so sensitive on mine.

"You think you're a monster?" he said confusingly as he stared into my eyes looking for an answer. "Bella, you are definitely not a monster. You're so much more. You're a hideous repulsive blood sucker," he said sarcastically. Edward flashed me a grin. I flashed him a frown.

"Edward, you are right. There really is no reason for you to be sarcastic. I am what you say. I _am_ a hideous blood sucker."

Edward's smile turned upside down. He looked at me with guilty eyes.

"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have said that. It was stupid. And, to make things clear, you are not hideous. Do you understand that? You are the most beautiful thing ever made in the world. Actually, beautiful is understatement. You are so much more. You are a small but bright star in the middle of a dark and empty sky. So beautiful, but yet a light. A light for others. A light for me."

These words brought back the most precious memories of my human life. I was the lamb, and he was the lion. Predator and prey, somehow made for each other. Both stupid enough to fall in love.

Edward took his hand off my face and instead put it in mine. He looked at me with that breath taking beautiful gaze, knocking the breath out of me. I inhaled some air so I could breathe. The air smelled as usual, rain and trees.

"You understand, love? Do not be ashamed. You are supposed to be like that. That is vampire nature. And, every life has to end eventually. Everything. All things are made to live and then to end. All things. Everything." He looked away and put his head up to the cloudy sky. Rain drops fell on his face and made wet streaks across his cheeks before falling to the ground a plop. Everything had to end didn't it? Everything. All life, all people, _everything_. But, how about love? Would it someday end? Would something happen that would end the love Edward and I had for each other? Would something get in the way?

I was suddenly brought out of my thoughts when a bird cooed. I looked its way and gave it an annoying glare. Edward realized I wasn't speaking. I was actually short of words. My mouth was glued shut.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward looked at me with an anxious glare.

"Yah." My voice didn't sound convincing. I was still get over the "everything has to end" speech. He seemed to realize it.

"Bella, listen to me." Edward took my face in his hands and forced my eyes upon him. "Tell me what's bothering you. Do not be ashamed. Tell me what you are thinking."

I fussed up. You couldn't hide anything from Edward for long.

"I'm just worried, that what you said will happen. But with us. Our love. You and me. Something will get in the way and… I don't know. Destroy us." My voice was just a whisper now and you could hear the faint sound of the wind blowing through the branches above us.

"Isabella Marie Cullen. Do you really think my love for you will ever end? Do you think it will be destroyed? Nothing, _nothing, _can get in the way of how much I love you. You are my life, and I will do everything to protect it. My love is unconditional, everlasting, and never ending for you. Do you realize that?"

I took my eyes of the tree branches high above us, and placed them on Edward's face. Of course I knew Edward's love for me would never end, but there was always something interfering. Always. Something good always has to end.

I sighed and spoke up. " Of course I know Edward. Your love for me can't be measured. But, there is always something in the way. Something good, and something extraordinarily perfect as you and me might"- I struggled to get the words out- " end some day. For instance, my love for you, Edward, is like the universe. It never ends. But, what if something big and catastrophic happened in that universe that would change the way of things? The way I feel about you. Suppose you were the planet, and I was the moon. I only was kept in place by you. The gravity of your planet kept me in place and gave me something to live for. An incentive. But, what if there was a big explosion, and it separated us. I was going one way, and you were going the other. Both traveling at unstoppable speeds away from each other. And there was no way to become one again. No way for you to keep me going by your gravity. No way for me to want to live. What would we do? What would _I_ do? What would happen? Could we do anything? Could everything be put back to normal? Would I be your moon, and you my planet? Or, would we be separated forever?" I just nearly choked out the words. There was no tears of course, but it seemed like there were. I put my hand up to my face to instinctively wipe them away, but there was none. I looked away from Edward expecting an answer but trying not to show I was anticipating it.

Edward's hands wrapped around me as he pulled me into his chest. Something as good as this had to end. Life isn't fair. Something good is always taken from you no matter how hard you wanted it and how hard you worked to attain it.

I laid in Edward's chest for a couple of minutes before he spoke again. I glanced at the trees, the birds, the clouds above in the sky. All of these things had a beginning, and would eventually end. I turned my eyes to the sun as it made itself known to the world. The clouds that were hiding moved, and the sun casted a brilliant ray of light onto the trees. By where the sun was, it was setting. I remembered the quotation I read out of a book I had read a few years ago. _The sun will rise, and the sun will set. Therefore, live life to the fullest, and protect what you love. Things begin, and they end. But, the sun will come again. _It will come tomorrow. And the day after that and so on. But, there never was the guarantee of that sun rising again and coming back. Though something as unique and extraordinarily different such as the love Edward and I with each other begins, it will end. But, how could I be sure. How could I be sure this quotation included us. Us and our love.

"Bella, how can I prove to you that nothing will ever, _ever, _separate us? How can I prove to you that my love for you is immeasurable and will never end? I can't stop loving you. You are a part of me. Once I stop loving that part of me, my life is over. My other half means nothing. Without you, my life is over. My existence is over. I cannot live. I will not want to live." He looked at me with the eyes of an angel. His hair swayed in the breeze of the wind. What Edward said was very true.

"Edward, you can't prove it. You never know what the future holds for us. You never will know what's going to happen. That's the problem. I know you believe what you think, but things change, and-"

Edward interrupted me by putting his finger to my mouth. "Bella. Every day of our eternity, I will protect the love I have with you. Nothing will get in the way. You will never be able to leave me. But, if you wanted something else, I would let you go, but becoming a vampire wouldn't have done any good in that situation. The bond you and I share is so much stronger than the Volturi or some other supernatural's power."

He muttered something under his breath. It sounded like, "Amor vincit omnia."

I gave myself a mental note to remember to look that up someday. From the little Latin I knew it sounded like love something all. What did I know. It could very nearly mean "Jacob is a dim-witted mongrel" but I trusted Edward to not say things like that with me around.

Though I believed what Edward said, there was my intuition in the back of my head. I felt change coming. Something big that would change something. Maybe me and Edward, but really, what did I know. Most of the time I was wrong, but there really was something building up. I could feel it rushing through my veins and throbbing in my head. Something big. Something that would bring catastrophic change.

Edward closed his eyes in thought. I was causing him trouble. I was puzzling him. It wasn't the first time.

He jerked his head up and looked at me. "I'm going to tell Carlisle, " he said interrupting my thoughts. "You need his support. You need his intake more than mine. You need his encouragement. "

The rain started to drop harder than before. Even through the protection of the thick branches of the trees, the rain slipped through and drenched us. I took my eyes off the ground and put them on the hands protecting me. I felt safe. I was almost positive that Edward wouldn't leave me. It would kill him more than it would kill me. He would never be able to forgive himself for hurting me like that. But seeing Carlisle right now would be encouraging. Listening to his intake of how I was feeling would be interesting. However, I felt embarrassed. Like I was talking to Carlisle as a therapist.

I didn't want to worry Edward any more so I answered. "Edward, do I really look that bad?" Of course I looked bad. I felt bad. When Edward and my love for each other was said to end or there was any possibility of it ending, I wasn't going to be all perky and jumping for joy. Let alone smiling. It wasn't something to smile about clearly.

"…You never look bad, but, I'm sure you feel 100 times worse than that. So, are you agreeing, I can take you Carlisle? '  
"Yes," I managed to say. I wasn't that thrilled to talk about this.

"Then, let's go. I promise, I will never take you to hunt here any more," he replied

I was surprised that he really thought I was going to hunt again. As of right now, that wasn't the highest priority on my to do list. I could go without hunting for a couple of weeks, or even a month. Maybe. I sighed. But that would make me even more vulnerable to hunting humans instead. I would be crabby and emotional. Wasn't a good idea.

Edward heard me and decided to ask.

"What's wrong Bella?"

I just shoke my head and got up.

The wind was colder than usual as we ran. I didn't dare to look back at the bear as we left. That was already imprinted in my head very deeply. It didn't need to go further. It was funny how just suddenly, these emotions would come to me. When I hunted, my instincts took over, so I didn't really care if I killed an animal. But, at this point in my vampire life, I felt as if my instinctual power was fading away. It's like it's me. I'm in control. _It_ isn't. That would be a good thing in some situations, but it meant I'd be a guilt monster every time I would hunt now.


	4. The Meeting

We entered the house through the front door. A thing we usually didn't do. By now, it was dark, and the moon was reflected onto the glass walls of the Cullens' house.

Edward took his phone out as I sat on the couch in his old room. He dialed a number, and talked so fast that if I wasn't human I wouldn't be able to comprehend the conversation. I could hear the beeping of a monitor in the background, so Carlisle was probably at the hospital. I didn't want to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help but listen to their conversation…

"Yah, I'll come home right now. It's been a light day at the hospital, and Mario can take over. And, I've wanted to tell you guys something anyway."

I saw the look of curiosity on Edward's face. I figured right now he was reading Carlisle's mind.

"Ok. Bella and I will be here. Wait, um, how's Charlotte doing?"

"Good. Better. She still is pretty bad, but I expect her to be out of the hospital in a few weeks. But, let me tell you something." Carlisle voice turned to a whisper. "People are getting suspicious of why I can be the only one in the room with her. It's getting kind of hard to hide it now. I might have to transfer here to the house. But, I'll see what's going on and what will happen. See you in a few."

"Bye." Edward's phone snapped shut with a smack. It made me jump out of my thoughts. I wasn't the only one flaming with curiosity. Charlotte. Wasn't that Jasper's old friend. Or, old foe. What happened to her? I decided to get as much information out of Edward as possible.

"So, who's Charlotte," I said in a bored tone while looking at my finger nails.

I glanced at Edward and he hesitated. "Just a friend of Jasper's. She got in a fight with the Volturi a couple of weeks ago in Houston, and it didn't end so good. After the fight, she ended up with only one arm. And, her partner, didn't do that good either. He blamed Jasper and us for not coming there and helping them fight the Volturi. Charlotte was okay with it. But, Peter's rude and selfish. I wasn't about to go put you in jeopardy again with the Volturi. I wasn't sure if they would change their minds about Renesmee and go here, back to Forks.

I was glad he didn't drag me to Houston either. I didn't want to see the Volturi again. You never knew what they were going to do. All I needed, all _we _needed, was to end up in another fight. Our reputation wasn't exactly the best right now. But, not like that mattered.

"Why did they get in a fight with the Volturi?" I glanced up from my nails to Edward and to my surprise he was only a foot away from me. Those eyes were staring at me with intensity of a black hole.

"Being too obvious. They left a body in a dumpster, and a trash man found it 2 days later with the bite marks on his neck. It was all over the news. In Houston, of course, and in some parts of Texas, but everybody thought it was an animal bite as usual. The Volturi got very mad at Charlotte and him for being so oblivious to the fact that they should hide the evidence and not leave it out for someone to see and discover, and so the Volturi came very like the way they came when they were afraid about Renesmee. But, Charlotte and _his_ fight didn't end as luckily and peacefully as ours .And, Charlotte's in the hospital, and her mate is actually, right across the hall in Carlisle's laboratory."

If my heart was still beating it would have skipped a beat let alone stopped altogether.

"What, he's across the hall!" I got up from the couch and headed for the door. Edward caught me, and lead me to the couch again.

"Bella, Bella. Calm down. He was too injured to be in the hospitable without revealing his secret. His door is locked. He can't get out. He can't hurt anybody." Edward stroked my face to calm me down.

"But, Edward. He's a vampire! The door doesn't do a freaken thing! He can bust through that door at any minute. And the state I imagine he's in, that doesn't help anything either!" I took Edward's hand off my face and looked into his eyes for an answer. I wasn't getting anything.

"Sorry, I haven't considered that." I was extremely surprised. Edward didn't consider that? Was there really something big coming or was something stressing him out that the most important things were slipping through the cracks.

"You didn't consider that there was a non vegetarian vampire in this house who could involuntarily combust and do harm at any moment?. How could you not catch that? What would happen if he got to Renesm-"

"Shh, Bella. I've talked to him this morning and he told me he was sick of his life and his eating habits. I don't think hunting is his number one priority right now for him. And, Alice has her eyes on the future. There is nothing for you to worry about. Nothing for _us _to worry about. Now, do you want me to tell you more about what happened, or would that just freak you out more?"

I took my eyes off his and put them on the crème colored carpet. I wanted to learn more about Charlotte's mate, but, why didn't Edward want me to know his name? I shook it off. But no matter how hard I wanted to get this situation out of my head, it was stuck there, like the way of life. It always was the same. But who was I to not get stuck, but high fly away from it all. Why me? Why did I deserve someone like Edward.

"Wait, Carlisle is here. He'll be able to explain this to you more clearly." Edward was right. I looked out the window onto the front yard and saw Carlisle pulling into the driveway. As his Mercedes was going through the garage, Edward scooped me up in his arms and led me into Carlisle's office with the pictures of the Volturi in it. As I entered, I didn't dare to stare at the paintings of the Volturi but instead concentrated on the painting in back of Carlisle's chair. It was very interesting. The sky was black with stars of all colors in the sky. Forests and trees filled all of the picture except for the top half.

"What's that," I said.

Edward followed my eyes and saw the painting. "Hmm, you noticed. Didn't think you would. Well, ever since you were human, you've been extremely observant, so I can't blame you there. It's a long story, and I'll have Carlisle tell you about it later. He knows a lot more about it then I do. All I know is that it's a picture of a vampirian prophecy. It's been passed along generation to generation, and Carlisle was lucky enough to inherit this. There's only a handful of these in the world today, and the Volturi own most of them.

"A prophecy?" I said in a surprised tone. I was surprised they didn't tell me about this.

"Yes. A prophecy for vampires." Edward looked outside into the moonless night. "It's the only hope we have."

We were interrupted by the knock on the open door. There we saw Carlisle.

Carlisle looked as normal, blond hair, pale faced, looking like a fallen angel, all mixed into extraordinarily beautiful creature.

"Hello, Bella." He looked at me and nodded as he headed for his large leather chair behind his brown desk. We followed and sat at the two chairs in front of the desk. Edward grabbed my hand under the table.

"It appears, Edward, that Bella has noticed the picture. You knew she would soon enough. "

" She never lost that quality of being human. Of being extremely observant. I just didn't think she would need to know until much later."

"What, do you mean, much later?" I interrupted.

Edward sighed. "Carlisle will tell you very soon. Don't worry. But we have to start what we came here for.

I nodded and spoke up. "Sorry you have to talk to me like this. I didn't mean to drag you from your job to here. It was very inconsiderate."

"Bella, family matters like these must not be ignored." _Even though they are better if they were ignored_, I added in my head.

At that moment, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett entered through the door. I instantly knew this was not a talk about me but a meeting. Carlisle wanted to tell us something. Something that would probably change the way we lived. And, he needed to tell us now.

Alice grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and went to sit next to me. Esme took her usual spot on the couch in the center of the room, and Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper stood near the paintings.

" We all know that I called you here for a very important reason." Carlisle turned to me. " Bella, I will talk with you in private tonight about you know, but right now, I need to talk to everyone."

"Well, were here," said Rosalie in an annoyed voice.

"I've noticed that, and I'm glad. But this is not a time to be annoyed and frustrated. This is a time to be considerate and open." Carlisle glanced at Rosalie with an authoritative look on his face. I glanced at Rosalie and she looked like she got the message.

When Carlisle knew he wouldn't be interrupted he continued. "We all know about the incident with Charlotte and Peter a few weeks ago. They got out of control and broke the rules. The Volturi got a hold of it and it didn't end good. But, we need to forgive them."

It seemed like I was discovering there was a whole lot of things that Edward didn't want to tell me. I thought he promised that he would not ever hide anything from me. Till then, I thought he was keeping his promise. That brought no tears to my eyes, but it did close my throat.

"Forgive them?" Rosalie said. "They were too oblivious to the fact that they should hide their evidence. They could have been found out and..." Rosalie looked at her fingers as she said this like she was filing them. I wasn't surprised. Usually, Rosalie was the one to get made at these things. Things that would put her way of life in danger. _Her's_ only.

"Rosalie, it could've ended another way. We all know that."

"So, why are you forgiving them?"

"Because we have to move on with life, Rosalie. We can't just be frozen like rocks at the side of the pond and hold a grudge against people. Being mad at someone is too annoying to live with for an eternity," Carlisle said with concern.

"Still, forgive them. They could have killed us. Who knows if they have brought the Volturi here. I don't think it's something to forgive."

"Rosalie Elaine Hale. Listen to me now. We have to forgive them. You need to snap out of this mood and attitude. This bliss of your existence being spent in a crappy mood doesn't do you or anyone around here justice."

Rosalie's face was one of a child's as she pouted, but underneath it all she knew the truth. Knew the truth all along. Just didn't want to accept it. But everyone had to accept it no matter how hard it was. Even though it would change everything we've worked towards or wanted.

I imagined Rosalie was so embarrassed to speak, but she did somehow find the nerve to open her mouth.

"Carlisle, just tell us what's going to happen. I don't care anymore. Forgive them. Whatever." Rosalie gave Carlisle a fake smile. Carlisle shook his head and continued.

" Obviously, I needed to tell all of you something. It's about Charlotte and Peter. Charlotte is extremely sorry, and Peter's not quite there yet. He's mad at Jasper and us for the past, and for not helping him in the fight. I'm sure you wouldn't have gone to fight the Volturi. There's no explanation for that." There was no explanations for that. I wasn't about to go fight the people who wanted me and Renesmee on their army.

"What about Charlotte and Peter?" Emmett said.

"If you guys would be patient for once, I might be able to come around it and tell you. But everyone is so anxious about it. I'll tell you I am all as worried as you are, but there is other things to be anxious about. Just sit down, and breathe."

Nobody did what he said. They just continued staring at Carlisle.

Esme whispered something to Carlisle. I could her it. "Carlisle, just tell them without any cover ups. Just do it." Esme gave a pleading glance to Carlisle. Carlisle gave out a sigh and continued.

"Charlotte and Peter, they want to join the family." Everybody took in a sharp gaps at once and jerked their heads towards Carlisle all at once. Obviously, they weren't expecting this news. However, I wasn't surprised at this remark. I felt change coming from all sides. But, I was sure it was bad change. I looked at everybody's faces and lingered at Rosalie's. She didn't look happy. More like she was in agony. Well, she looked like she was in agony all the time ever since I became a vampire.

"Why?" Emmett whispered.

"When?" Jasper said in an excited tone.

"What?" Rosalie said through her teeth.

"What?" Alice said in a whisper.

It seemed like this explanation for Edward's mood made everyone including me confused.

" Charlotte and Peter. Charlotte is sick of her lifestyle, and so she wants to join the family, although, she already is technically one of us already."

"What about Peter."

"Charlotte is making him come."

"Making?"

Carlisle nodded.

"Wait, I thought Peter wanted to come," I said.

"Well, of right now that's not the case."

I decided to speak up. "Carlisle, Charlotte is making Peter come? I don't think that's a good idea. The more he doesn't want to come the more he's not willing to learn. This could have bad consequences."

"I'm completely aware of that, Bella. It's just, I believe he is willing to learn after he gets over this episode." Carlisle didn't sound so convincing.

"And Jasper, they are coming in a week from tomorrow. I'm sure you of everyone is the most excited.

"Definitely," Jasper said simply.

"A week?" asked Rosalie in a tone full of disbelief and anger.

"What the hell? Do you expect us to get prepared, physically and _emotionally_ for this in one week? That's a big leap of faith, Carlisle," Emmett muttered.

" Come on guys. We are stronger that we think we are. We can get through this. Stop being so pessimistic. An eternity is too long to always looking on the negative sides of things." Esme said in her soft, motherly voice.

" What about Bella," Rosalie said with absolutely no concern in her voice. "And Renesmee?" This time, Rosalie's voice was worried.

"Renesmee won't meet Charlotte and Peter until they can control themselves. And we'll tell them in advance and help them."

Carlisle looked nervously at the picture straight ahead of him on the wall. "But, there's more."

"More?" Edward said in a voice of worry. Edward didn't know this part of the potentially dangerous event coming up.

" Yes." They are bringing along a friend of their's. Her name is Briana. She is willing to learn. But, she's really young. She was just in 8th grade when she was changed. So, be on the watch."

"Carlisle, I can not believe you are doing this. Three? Why? And one newborn. What the hell has gone wrong with you?"

"Rosalie!" Esme said through her teeth.

Emmett whispered into Rosalie's ear.

Rosalie went out of the pouncing position she was in, and laid back on the couch.

Carlisle shook his head in disbelief.

Alice sat completely still in her seat. I didn't even notice it till I glanced over at one of the pictures on the wall. But she didn't look all happy.

"I'm sorry. As you know already, Peter is here, and Charlotte's in the hospital. However, people there are getting suspicious, and so she might need to transfer to here. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. It was a mistake."

"Sure the hell it was," Rosalie screeched.

"Butt out, Rosalie," Emmett said.

"You butt out Emmett." Rosalie hit Emmett on his leg after she said this.

"Cat fight!" Jasper called out.

"Rosalie, out. Go!" Esme said at the top of her voice. Rosalie stopped and stood up.

She smiled at this remark. "My pleasure. And, Carlisle, you won't expect to see me until these people come. You hid something from me, and so I'm hiding for you."

I was so surprised from what Rosalie said because it was so childish. I opened my mouth in aghast. She just was too much.

"Rosalie, meet me in my office later. I need to talk to you. If you don't, I won't guarantee you will have a bed here anymore. Not like you'll need it."

Rosalie stormed out of the room and shut the door hard behind her.

"Anyways,"-Carlisle was interrupted by the scratching of fingernails against the door. Carlisle rolled his eyes. "-If anyone else here wants to make a big fuss about this I would recommend they go outside. It's your call, not mine."

Everyone was silent. They either didn't want to end up out of this conversation, or they were too stunned to speak.

"So, I'm going to continue. They will be living in this house and I've warned them already on what to expect. And, make sure the doors to your rooms are locked. Though, that really wouldn't make a difference if they're vampires. There is nothing to be afraid of. I am guaranteeing that. I'll make sure of it. And I'm sure you will too."

How could Carlisle guarantee something like this. He wasn't Alice. I looked to Alice and she was seeing something.

"How old are they. I mean, when they were changed, and I guess, how old are they now? I don't want some moody teenage vampires walking around the house." Everybody looked to the door as if Rosalie was the example. She was. Or at least she acted like it.

"Jasper, I think you can tell them about Charlotte and Peter's ages. You leave Briana up to me."

Jasper cleared his throat and got up. He went to the middle of the room like he was giving a lecture. His spot wasn't the best because anyone of us could get too angry and he would only be one leap away….

"Let's get down to the point. Charlotte is, _was, _ twenty-one when she was changed, and Peter, he was 23. They are all adults, so nothing to worry about. However, I'll warn you, Peter does have a temper and he won't snap out of it unless he gets what he wants. Charlotte is motherly although she is only 23. She will be easy to get along with. So, obviously, I would do what Carlisle says and be on guard for…whatever happens."

"Thanks Jasper. As you know, Briana, she's an 8th grader, so, unfortunately, she might be moody. Like any newborn vampire. She is 14, childlike, yet mature. I want you to be on guard even more when around her." Carlisle looked serious when he said this. He was trying to make the point that what we were doing was important to him and might just really change the way of all vampires. Just maybe.

"Crap." Emmett said in a joking tone. "Another Rosalie."

"Kill me now," I said in a whisper so only Edward could hear. Edward squeezed my hand. I wished I hadn't said that. My death and Edward didn't mix. Never had. They were two different chemicals that couldn't be mixed, and if God forbid they did, they would have disastrous results. I didn't want to push it so I shut my mouth.

I squeezed his hand back telling him silently I was sorry.

"Yah, but you know you have to respect Rosalie. Even though she doesn't respect anyone else, still. She will change. Eventually. And the newborn will too." Carlisle smiled as he said this. He didn't want to admit he thought the same as Emmett.

Emmett coughed after the Rosalie will change speech.

"Okay, Rosalie might not change, but the newborn will. I'm sure of it. In a few years, or even months, she will be less wild and moody. Easier to manage. She might just be like Bella. Maybe." Carlisle smiled after saying this. Rosalie wouldn't change. At least the change would be very minute and hard to realize.

"Carlisle, even though what you're going towards sounds good, I can't believe you just told us. You could have told us a little bit sooner." Jasper frowned after he said this but immediately the room was relaxed and in comfort. Jasper had manipulated the

mood of the room.

I was surprised when Alice spoke up. "Even though it sounds good, doesn't mean it will turn up that way. And you are saying we should be on our guard. Okay, do you want to add something else to the "Alice You Must Do List"? Hmmm, how about watching Renesmee's every move. Wait, don't I already do that?"

"Alice," Esme said in a surprised tone. Esme looked at Alice with disappointment.

"What? I can't do everything."

"We don't expect you to."

"Well, you are acting like you do."

Everyone looked at Alice with surprise. Everyone except Carlisle. He looked at Alice with betrayal and pity. Alice noticed Carlisle and his face.

Alice sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just that I have other things to worry about and I can't control everything. I can balance a couple of things, but what you're asking is-" she sighed-"not too much. I just think this will be hard. And, I'll never know what I'm going to see, so what can I do? And, you, Edward, you blame me for not seeing the future. Come on, I'm not a god for goodness sake. I don't see everything." Alice looked at all of us with a pleading glance saying she wanted us to understand. "I just..-" she breathed out-"Don't want to be pressured. Just, please understand." She shoke her head. "I know, I'll just have to deal with it whatever." Alice looked to the ground and her voice cracked. "Obviously, there's no other way."

I understood. I knew what being pressured was like. You felt like everything was on your shoulders and everything else was a blur. Everyone was passing you with no reason to stop. They didn't care, never did want to. They didn't think a second about the person under pressure. It was just normal. But sad.

Esme touched Alice's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Alice. I know you're under an immense amount of pressure and even though how much I don't want to do this, I know I have to. I swear, if there was any other person like you, I would ask them in a nana-second, but, there is no one like you." Esme smiled. "Honey, you're just going to have to deal with it."

Alice put her hand on Esme's, and smiled wiping away any traces of anger. " I know. I just have to deal with it. That's what comes with being extraordinarily special."

She smirked.

I gave Alice a smile. At least she didn't end this like Rosalie did. I wouldn't have let her. She was too good to end up like Rosalie.

"I'm sorry," Alice said as she looked at Carlisle. "You can continue."

"Thanks, Alice," Carlisle said with a hint of pleasure layering his voice.

"So, who's gonna give up their room," Emmett said with a smile. "There is no way in this damned earth that these people will be moving into my room. I'm sure Rosalie feels the same way. I wouldn't ask her. Just for our sake and humanity's. You know."

Carlisle frowned. "Actually, they are moving into your room Emmett."

"You wouldn't," Emmett hissed.

"No, I'm just kidding. Take a joke. Anyways, they are staying in the guest rooms, Emmett. I wouldn't dare to upset you and Rosalie like that."

"You never know. I've heard with age your brain stops remembering stuff like that. What is it called. Carliheimers?"

"Really funny, Emmett," Edward said through a smile. "You know, I've heard there's a disease for excessive annoyance. What's it called? Is it E.M.M.E.T.T.?"

"Shutup," Emmett hissed. " I wouldn't be talking."

"Shh, you guys, calm down. You shouldn't be like this around the visitors. It wouldn't be a good example." I said, lifting my eyes off the ground.

"I don't give a damn. Never have, never will," Emmett replied harshly.

"Okay," Carlisle said in an annoyed tone. "Any more questions?'

"Yah,um," Emmett raised his hand, " Do you have any idea how they will act around humans. Or, are you doing this with a blindfold on?"

"I can honestly say I don't know how they will act. But, I'm sure they are along the lines of how Jasper had acted when he came. I'm sure they will do fine with Jasper's support." Carlisle played with a pen as he said this.

By now, I had mastered my human-like positions. We didn't want to act like vampires unless we absolutely had too, so we would act human. Cross your legs, blink your eyes every 20 seconds, don't stand for too long, etc., etc. This was just a few things off the long list that we Cullens had to work off in order to appear as human as possible. But, right now, Carlisle wouldn't have been playing with his pen that loud. It would be too unnatural for any human. By now, I was surprised the pen didn't break. It made me think that he was nervous, but I figured that he had the right to be.

Carlisle looked around the room, gazing deeply into the eyes of the family that he was putting into danger. When he came to Edward though, he looked surprised. "Edward, you haven't been talking a lot. What's the matter. Do you have a question?" Carlisle asked.

"Actually, I do. Where did this come from. What is the motive of this whole matter. Isn't there enough vampires in Forks to last a while?"

We all stared at Carlisle as he stopped clicking the pen. He cleared his voice. "Yes, Edward, there is a motive for this. A motive that outlives the dangers. I believe by aiding them in our way of living this coven will tell others. I know this doesn't sound so convincing, but I believe Charlotte, Peter, and Briana will be able to do this, and maybe spread this way to others. It's a dream. A dream I've been wanting to live ever since I was welcomed into this life. I want to make vampires think of themselves of not monsters, but of living beings who are trying to fit in. I want them to try to be less monstrous as possible. That's my hope."

Edward didn't respond. A speech that convincing didn't need comments.

Carlisle saying this brought back an awkward memory. Martin Luther King. The "I have dream" speech was hammered in my head ever since the 4th grade, so it wouldn't be fair if what you could call what I was having a flash back. And it would only be fair to let Carlisle live his dream. It was the least thing he deserved. Or anyone one of us deserved. After all, Carlisle was our creator, and I would say our support. He often didn't get rewarded for it. The reward was often knowing that he made a difference in any particular life that would have been worse with out him.

I must have been day dreaming, if that was possible, because I was suddenly brought out of my thoughts when Edward squeezed my hand and everyone was staring at me waiting for an answer. I shoke my head to clear my thoughts.

"I'm sorry Carlisle. I missed it. What did you want to know?"

"How you feel about this. You and Edward have been really quiet, and I was wondering what your thoughts were about this. It's only fair to ask." It was only fair to ask. But the reason me and Edward were silent was because we were worried. Worried about Renesmee and Jacob. And everything else this could cause.

At that moment I wanted to tell him that this was the worst idea ever thought of, but I knew that this was Carlisle's dream and he deserved to live it, so like a practical person I said what would make him feel the best. But, I wasn't sure if he wanted to hear how I wanted to feel about this. He wanted to hear my true thoughts about this situation, so, regrettably, I stopped thinking and looked up.

"I'm going to be as truthful as possible. I think this idea of yours is not the best. I personally think it's not worth facing the dangers of this situation for the ultimate award, but I do want you to do this, Carlisle. I want you to change lives like you have mine. Without you making Edward a vegetarian or a vampire, we wouldn't have met, and he would have died in that influenza. Thank you. My life would still be stuck in that boring human world. It always held no interest to me. So……………" I scanned the room, looking at the faces of the ones I loved. If I said no, I would be saving them from danger. Then, I put my eyes on Carlisle. He deserved to live his dream, didn't he? And that fact convinced me to make the decision: "Overall, Carlisle, I believe you should go for it."

I kicked myself silently under the desk for saying that. It wasn't true. Or was it? Something in my heart wanted me to do it, but the intuition in the back of me head wanted my heart to shut up. If I knew what was coming the future, I wished it had.

"Thank you, Bella." Carlisle smiled. "And you are welcome. I'm as glad as you for changing Edward."

I looked at Edward. He smiled my favorite crooked smiled that reached to his eyes.

I was so glad Carlisle chose Edward and saved him. My life would be empty…… like the eyes of Alice across the room.

I looked at Edward knowing he would be the first to know what she was seeing. His face was expressionless, but their was a hint of curiosity and anger hidden behind the beautiful smile on his face. I knew he was smiling for me. Just for the sake of keeping me calm, but I wasn't clueless.

Everybody kept quiet for Alice's sake. The more she saw, the better off we would be in the long run. The problem was, what was she seeing? I was almost on the verge of yelling out and making her tell me but I kept my mouth shut and settled for grasping the sides of my seat. Edward didn't eye me. He was too caught up with Alice.

The minutes that passed seemed like indefinite amounts of time. We waited for Alice for what seemed like years anticipating the worst but hoping for the best. Finally, she took her eyes off the stone statue ahead of her in the room and set them on Edward and then Carlisle. Her face was crumpled up in worry and shock. I could see it in her eyes. They were a deep, but somehow shallow pool of worry, regret, and shock. Whatever she had seen wasn't what you could call pleasant.

"Carlisle," Alice said in a worried and childish voice. She glanced at Edward wanting him to continue. _He_ could read her thoughts. But, he was too stunned to talk let alone blink. But, somehow, he managed to open his mouth.

"We were right." Edward said, shaking his head. "We were right all along." His tone got edgier. "Where is that mongrel!" Edward yelled, as he jumped up out of his seat and headed for the door with a quick, slick move. He left the room. So I got out of my seat, and followed in his footsteps, only wondering what had happened now.


	5. Carlisle's Dream

I followed Edward out of the house and into the garden. He stood with his back to me by the waterfall. So, I stood there waiting for Edward to turn around. When he did, I gazed at him with eyes of confusion. Seconds later, Carlisle joined us too. He was damn lucky.

"Edward, we will be able to settle this. Think about what you're doing. Think about what it will do to us. Think about what it will do to Bella," Carlisle said simply.

At that moment Edward's body flinched and pain crumpled his perfect face. He stood there in the middle of the garden for a minute regaining his control. But that left him edgy.

Whatever caused Edward to go out of this situation into a new one made me scared and worried. I had no idea what was making him so mad. But I had a couple of ideas. Jacob. Jacob, my best friend. Jacob, the werewolf. And, eventually my son in law. Suddenly I got it. I could actually hear the connection of Edward's actions and the truth in my head. I got it. I didn't know exactly what had happened, but I had an idea.

"I'm sorry," Edward said in an aggravated voice. "This isn't the most pleasant time for this, but what that dog is doing, is absolutely out of the question. She's only 3!"

Edward was absolutely right. Renesmee, our daughter, was very special not just in her growth habits but that she was half human and vampire. She grew from a tiny cell into a full grown baby in two weeks. Under all the joy was worry. Worry that she would grow so fast that she would be a old woman at age 15. Her rate of growth was slowing, but it was heading in the worst direction. We all hoped she was more werewolf than vampire so she would stop growing at the adult age.

And now, 3 years old but had the body and moody mind of a 15 year old excited Jacob even more since she was more to his age that he had ever known her as. With her age came the moody instincts and actions of a teenager. And then came Jacob. They were always with each other, and I was worried Renesmee wouldn't like Jacob that way. But, I wished I had hoped for it because everywhere I went, I saw myself and Edward reflected in Renesmee and Jacob. It was like looking at a pond and seeing yourself in love so true you couldn't resist not staring at it anymore. It wouldn't be fair to take love that true away from them when I knew how good and wonderful it could be. But what could I say. Renesmee and Jacob were soul mates. There was nothing separating them from running away from each other. But, I hoped Jacob didn't have the nerve to do it. It could endanger his life.

"Come on, let's go back inside," I said, motioning to the house. "I'm sure that Renesmee is still at her school's field trip. They wouldn't allow a minor to taken another minor out." I knew I was lying, but it was for Edward's sake of course.

We headed back inside, and Emmett blurted out: "Yah, she's three, but she has the friggin body and the mind of a 15 year old teenager. If I was Jacob, I would be throwing myself all over her. I can't blame him." I rolled my eyes at the fact that he was eavesdropping on Edward's conversation in the garden.

Edward hissed. "What the hell, Emmett. Real funny. She's your _niece_! Not another girl on the street."

Emmett shrugged and then smiled. "Still. I guess I'm the luckiest uncle in the world."

Edward sighed in disbelief and rolled his eyes. That was where Renesmee got her attitude.

"Emmett, do you need to stay after like Rosalie?" Carlisle asked. "It's fine. I'm sure Bella wouldn't mind suspending our meeting."

"No, not at all," I said through a forced smile. "No trouble at all." I wouldn't want my brother in law hitting on my daughter. It was awkward in so many ways.

"Anyways," Carlisle raised his eyebrows, "Alice, what _did _you exactly see?"

"I think Edward can tell you that," Alice said through a closed mouth. " I have to go." Alice ran through the room and I saw a glimpse of her face. She caught my eye, and quickly looked away and went out of the room.

Everybody looked at Emmett. He usually caused outbursts like this in some degree. "Why the hell is everybody looking at me? I swear, I didn't do a freaken thing." I could tell by the sound of Emmett's voice that he wasn't joking.

"Esme, I would go out and find Alice. She needs you now. Just do it. No questions asked." Edward said in a soft voice.

Esme hesitated as she got up. "I can't believe this. First this, and than…" She couldn't finish her sentence. She went out of the room and I jumped in my seat when I heard the door shut loudly.

I gave Edward a worried and confused glance. I had no idea what was happening, and I needed to know right away. I had the right to.

"I'll tell you later," Edward whispered. "It's not the time." Sure the hell it was the time. If this was not important enough for me to know at this time than why was Alice walking out of the room? He promised that he wouldn't hide anything from me. And he wasn't, but I needed to know now.

Edward shot Carlisle a glance that told Carlisle to interrupt me from saying anything.

"I don't know what that was," Carlisle said in a confused tone. "But, I know Esme has it under control. And Alice, she'll be able to control it."

I got up out of my chair and got ready to speak. "Edward Cullen, you _will_ tell me what Alice has seen at this instant."

"Whoah Bella. Calm down. It's nothing for you to worry about." Emmett said.

"Just shut up Emmett." I gave him a glance that I hoped got the point across.

I had the right to know and the right to know _now_. If this was about my daughter then I must be told right now, or someone would get hurt. This wasn't a time to joke around.

Edward sighed and reached for my hand. I gingerly took his in mine, and sat down next to him. "You can tell me," I said in a soft voice. "You have to."

"I know." He smiled. "I won't get away alive if I don't."

"It's Jacob, isn't it. And Alice, she's mad because she can't see his decision and Renesmee's future is blurry." Edward nodded.

"But, exactly, what did he do this time?" I looked at Edward expecting an answer.

Edward smiled and spoke up. "He took her to Italy this time, and let's just pray she'll come back unharmed and in one piece."

"He wouldn't."

"Well, he just did."

"After what he did? Is he blind?"

"It seems like it. I'm going to call him right now to see how they are doing." Edward pulled the phone out of his pocket and dialed Jacob's number.

A few seconds past and the phone ringed, however no one picked it up. We got the message machine and I heard Jacob's voice. His voice was annoying now. He had time to do almost everything else in the world than pick up a phone. .

"That dog."Edward hissed.

Carlisle spoke up. "You're not going to go on a plane and go there, are you? Remember you and Bella were just like this. Now you know how worried Charlie was when you went to Italy. You were fine. And so will they. Just stay home and wait for them."

"Wait for them? Why? You don't know the trouble they can get into. Especially Renesmee…."Edward smiled and looked at Carlisle.

"Were we really just like them?" I asked.

"You have no idea." Carlisle answered with a smile.

"Okay, we'll wait, but if that dog brings her back hurt, he's going to be limping around on 3 legs," Edward said.

This comment didn't surprise me. This wasn't the first time Jacob took Renesmee somewhere without us knowing. It happened a lot. And, my daughter, she inherited the worst thing I would want her to inherit from me. My clumsiness. It was almost embarrassing watching her knowing that I once was like that. It was also terrifying. One slip, one hit, one fall was all it toke for anything to happen. However, it was comforting knowing Jacob was always by her side looking out for her. It was the ultimate thing Jacob could do for me other than forgiving me. After all, I was the one who was suppose to make up everything I did to him. And, I guess, by giving up my daughter I was paying back that debt.

I looked out the window and saw that the sun was rising. It was our cue to leave.

This time, the sun was rising, and tonight, it would set. But, the next day, would it rise? How could we know?

"Carlisle, you never told us exactly how you decided to do this. It just jumped out of you, or did you plan it?" Emmett said in a voice of curiosity.

"I guess Emmett, it jumped out of me one day. I felt like I needed to live my dream and I needed to do it fast. That's why I started this covenant of vampires. You and me. I felt like this was why I was chosen and made a vampire. For this exact reason."

Emmett looked at Carlisle with confusion. Carlisle continued. "Have you ever felt like you were supposed to be one thing for a reason.? A reason you didn't discover until you actually became that one thing? A reason that would not only change you, but others? Have you ever had a dream? A dream that was too good to be true, but you wanted it so bad that you would do anything to live it.? Absolutely anything? A dream that would help not just you but others? A dream you wanted to share with every body? A dream you wish everyone would ream once they shut their eyes? This is how I picture what I want to do."

I knew only one thing this speech applied to. Edward and I. A dream. That's exactly how I pictured our love. A dream too good to be true and would never end. The problem was, would I wake up? Would I wake up in the middle of the night alone not knowing what or what _would_ happen? Would I leave that dream and go onto another? There was no way to find out. Time had to play.

I looked at Emmett. I think he got the analogy.

Carlisle looked at Emmett waiting for an answer.

"Actually, Carlisle. I haven't. I really don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds so wonderful."

"Well, Emmett. I guarantee you will have one of those dreams and will want to live it up. But let me tell you. There is always restrictions. But don't let those stop or discourage you. Live it up. Chase that dream, and live it. Don't let it go away. Once it's gone, it's never coming back."

I looked at Carlisle with admiration and concern. His words were right. I should live up the time Edward and I had with each other. And, don't let it go away. Don't let anything get in the way. Carlisle was right. There was a lump in my throat when I remembered it would never come back. I wasn't sure if that was what would happen to Edward and I, would we lose each other.? Would I be weak and stupid enough to let this dream go away? Would I let it just go away before my eyes, or would I act upon it? There was one thing for sure. I couldn't do it on my own. I needed Edward. I needed his help. I was too weak no matter how strong I actually was to fight this on my own. I needed him. Always. That was more of the reason why I needed to fight.

I was brought out of my thoughts, as Edward's hand stroked my forehead. I didn't realize it until he stopped.

"Bella, why are you sweating? Are you okay?" Edward looked at me with worried eyes. I didn't realize I was sweating until he told me. I was too involved with my thoughts that I forgot where I was and what I was doing. And by the look on Edward's face, I didn't look so good.

I shook my head. "Yah, yah, I'm fine."

"Bella, are you sure. You don't look that good. Is it Alice?" Carlisle said with worry.

"No, no. Nothing like that. It's really nothing. I'll tell you later." I wiped my forehead and to my surprise I really was drenched in sweat. I wiped my hand on my faded jeans and concentrated on the little specks of dust in the air. I couldn't get over how pretty they were.

"Okay, Bella. If that's what you say. And, you can leave now. I've told you everything I've could and the earliest that I could. I hope you are not extremely mad at me."

"No, Carlisle." I smiled. "I'm actually, happy for you. And them. It's really good what you are doing. Don't listen to what the others are telling you. You have so many things to worry about so ignore them."

"Thanks, Bella. Do you want to hold the meeting now, or later tonight? Any time it good for me." Carlisle replied.

"Later tonight would be good, I really have to find out when my daughter/hostage is coming home." Edward smiled.

"Later tonight, Bella? Aren't you going to be busy?" Emmett said. Here he goes with all the innuendo crap.

"You know what Emmett, shut up. I thought you promised you wouldn't continue with the sex jokes when I beat you at arm wrestling. I think you have both Carliheimers and EMMETT." I hoped Emmett got the point of what I said.

I looked at Emmett and to his surprise, I burned him. Carlisle and Edward were smiling. I still had it. I could insult people.

"Let's go, Edward."

Edward got up and he followed me to the door. I smiled when I saw a glimpse of Emmet's face. He was frowning in surprise. We were out the door before Emmett could get me back.

As we were walking down the stairs Edward interrupted the silence. " I wonder were Rosalie is," Edward said jokingly.

"Probably in her room filing her nails and worrying about Renesmee."

"That would be the most logical possibility." Edward smiled.

Before we could get to the door Alice came to my mind. "Wait," I said blocking the door. "Where's Alice? I need to talk to her."

"She's actually at our meadow, waiting for us."

I raised my eyebrows.

"She saw that I was going to take you there, and she knew that you would want to talk to her and, she actually needed to talk to you. So, when she stormed out of the room the first thing she did other than hit Rosalie in the head was to go to the meadow and wait for us."

I wondered why Alice thought that I would want to go to the meadow. Another mystery. Story of my life.

I wanted to go call Jacob and tell him what I thought about what he was doing, but now since we were going to the meadow, that suspended my talk with him. The more time I let him have with Renesmee, the more possible damage he could do _with_ her or _to_ her.

"Do you have the cell phone," I asked.

"In my pocket."

"Let's go."

I grabbed Edward's hand. This run was very similar to others, but also extremely different at the same time. The motives of going there were different. We wanted to know what Alice had seen instead of laying with each other remembering the memories of my human life, and the memories I wanted to come.

As we ran, I thought about what was to come, and what had already happened. What did the future hold for us? Only one person could tell me, and I was only a matter of seconds away from her.


	6. Meadow

As we approached the meadow I hadn't visited in what seemed like years, I saw Alice walking at the edges of the meadow smelling the flowers and occasionally picking one up and putting it in her hair. She was moving gracefully from one side to the other without any trace of anger, agony, or sadness on her face.

The meadow was as usual. Trees were circling it and the trees were casting a green and dreamy canopy over the small, circular piece of green adorned with purple, yellow, and white flowers. There was a faint breeze carrying the smell of fuchsia and daisy that blew in the trees and made them look they were alive. The flowers rocked in the breeze, and Alice looked more beautiful than ever.

Alice didn't stop when we approached her. She just kept smelling and touching the flowers one at a time. The way she was moving reminded me of a dream. A beautiful dream that was sweet, but somehow underneath the surface wasn't meant to be good. She didn't stop until Edward interrupted her by coughing. "Alice, we are here." His hair rocked in the wind. It didn't moved with the wind, instead against it.

"I know," She said in a sweet voice as she picked up a flower.

We didn't say anything until a few droplets of rain fell through the canopy of trees high above us. At this time the meadow was so beautiful, only a conversation like this could take away even a small majority of it's beauty.

Alice turned around so she was facing us. Her face was solemn, yet filled with beauty. She slowly walked over to us, and sat down in the middle of the meadow her legs crossed. Her hair blew with the wind. I walked over to where she was sitting and Edward followed.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked as I reached for her hand. I grasped both of hers in mine. The only sound was the sound of wind and rain droplets falling slowly to the ground.

Alice smiled, but then frowned. She looked at Edward with the eye telling him to go.

"I'll just meet you our cottage," Edward said gently as a gust of wind blew past him. "I think Alice needs to talk to you alone."

I nodded. This probably wasn't as bad as I thought it would be if Edward was willing to leave. But, Edward did have the ability to read minds, so who knew if he already knew what she was going to tell me.

I watched Edward as he walked gracefully out of the meadow, his back to me. The trees on both sides of him swayed in the gentle breeze. But, as I caught a last glimpse of him, a strong gust blew the trees, and their branches then collided and stuck together. Like a trap. They were closing us in.

I looked at Alice and saw that she had seen the trees too. She glanced at me and smiled. This wasn't the first time we were trapped. It felt nice to have such privacy and the interlocked trees gave us a sense of more.

I smiled back, and turned to her. She laid down on the grass her hands behind her head looking at the trees reaching high into the sky. At this moment, I thought she wanted to be up there, high above everybody else. And to fly, fly away from everything. I of all people understood her.

"I don't know what to do," she said in a helpless voice as she looked at the trees and the beauty surrounding her. "I don't know if I can handle this." Alice turned her head towards me. Her voice was not angry or closed, it was gentle. A voice that could only belong in the meadow. Not a voice that would disturb its beauty. Yet, I could hear the truth behind the words. She was helpless. Didn't know what to do. And didn't know where to go.

A strong gust of wind blew past us and carried a cloud that blocked the sun. I saw how her diamond skin suddenly turned pale and smooth. It was funny how things would change so suddenly. Just yesterday, I was holding Renesmee in my arms and protecting her from all the dangers this life and our world provided for her. Now, I couldn't hold her in my arms, let alone stop her from being by Jacob.

"Handle what," I said in a gentle voice that I hoped soothed her.

"What's coming," she said as she looked at the sky. "I don't know what to do."

I grabbed Alice's hand and put it in mine. Whatever was bothering her, I hoped I could somehow ease the pain it was inflicting on her.

"I feel like, this is the only situation that has taken me by surprise. I can't do anything about it. I just can't handle it. I can't stop what's happening, and what is going to happen." She took her eyes off the trees and put them on my face.

"Bella, you need to help me. I'm reckless. I just…can't do it." I looked at Alice with concern. Of course I would help her. After all, when I was heartbroken and in pain, I was helped by Jacob. Now all I wished was that I could help Alice like Jacob had helped me.

"Alice, I will. I'll always be by your side. You have always helped me, and I'm going to help you."

"But, Bella. I need more than help. I need…" Alice voice stopped. She either didn't know what she wanted or she didn't want to continue.

She sat up and put her head in her hands. She was completely alone. Whatever was hurting her was sucking the life out of her.

"I don't know what I need anymore." She said, laughing out of pure disbelief. She relied so much on her visions to tell her what she would need, but I guess she didn't see this one coming. "I don't know if that need is possible."

Alice kept her head in her hands for a couple of minutes. This conversation was breaking my heart one rip at a time. The first rip was seeing Alice alone and reckless. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing if she could do anything. It reminded me of myself during those months of complete nothingness when Edward was gone. I was in distress, and I didn't want to live. And it seemed like no one could help me. There was no one out there for me. No one. No one to give me the reason to live.

As I looked at Alice, whatever she needed, I knew she couldn't get by herself. There was no possibility of me healing when Jacob wasn't there. But then he came, and stitched me up. But, I was just ripped apart again. I wasn't sure if this would happen to Alice. Absolutely no one other than me deserved the pain that consumed you and made it seem like every second was an indefinite amount of time. A pain that made you work to get through one second at a time . This was the pain that wouldn't go away with time. Pain that pulled you apart.

I put my arms around Alice, and she brought her head out of her hands. I didn't dare to not say anything. Silence was healing in some situations, but painful in this one.

"Alice, you know I'll try to get you what you need, no matter how hard it is to get it." Alice turned around so she could see me.

"I know Bella." She said in a thankful but gentle voice.

"I know you'll do anything for me." I smiled at her.

"Always."

"Thank you," she said in a small voice as she laid her head in my lap. "I don't know if I could handle this without you." At that moment, there was a sympathy for her that I couldn't understand. I'll I could comprehend was that she was feeling the same pain that I had felt before, and I knew how to ease it. The pain was always too unbearable, and I knew how if felt to be trapped. Trapped in this pain. Trapped in a intense darkness that closed on in you as time went on instead of clearing up with time. I knew how it felt to be helpless, to be stuck there not knowing what you could do and what you should do. How it felt to live, but not live. To live for nothing, and watch time pass. I know how it felt to watch yourself fade away until you were nothing. Until there was nothing left in you.

"Alice," I said after we looked at the sky for a few minutes. "Do you sometimes wish you were a bird, so you can fly high up in the sky away from anything that was bothering you? Fly high up there and get away?"

"All the time," she answered in a voice with more energy. "Why?" It was my turn to answer.

"I just thought that was what you would want to do. That's what you would imagine. I do all the time." I stared at Alice and she was expecting more of an answer. "It's comforting knowing that someone other than yourself is getting that chance to fly away, even though how much you wished it were you. It gives you a sense of freedom. Freedom that you wish to have, but for some reason can't."

Alice nodded and looked up to the sky. "Bella, why are you doing this for me? I don't deserve to fly away, let alone get your help. Why do you want to help me? You could be looking for Renesmee right now and worrying about her."

" Worrying. Not appealing. And Alice, you have done so much more for me than I could have ever imagined. I was helped in the neediest time of my life, but before that I was falling apart. But, I was stitched together again. I want you to be too. Living in pain is too great to live with alone. That's why you need someone there for you. No matter who the person is."

What I just said brought along a deluge of memories at once. My pain. The pain I seemed to block off, but was still there. It was in my memories. Implicated in my head. It left a wound that had healed. But, the scar was still there for me to always see. The pain was gone, but the memories of it were still there for me to see.

Alice picked up a flower off the ground next to her and twirled it in between her fingers. I waited for her to say something. For a few minutes she remained quiet, and the only sound was the wind blowing through the trees and the sprinkle of rain falling to the ground.

"Bella, I need to tell you something." Alice said after a few minutes of silence. I took my eyes off the patch of grass which had somehow fossilized a werewolf's paw print, and put them on Alice. She looked up at me with worry. Whatever she wanted to tell me was better off being shared with Carlisle first, but she sensed that she should share it with me before anyone else.

"Anything," I said. Anything that I wanted to hear. But, sadly, almost everything I didn't want to hear entered my ears somehow.

Alice sighed. "Renesmee and Jacob in Italy wasn't the only vision," she said. Alice looked at me waiting for a reaction.

I took in a huge breath. I knew that she had seen something much worse, I just didn't want to admit it to myself. But denying the truth never turned out how you wanted it to. It just made the situation worse.

I found myself not saying a word after her remark. My mouth was glued shut. Alice looked at me to see my reaction. But I didn't react. I was used to news like this. I learned that freaking out was the worst thing you could do in a situation like this. But being quiet wasn't the best thing either.

So, I couldn't keep quiet for long. "What did you see?" I asked plainly.

Alice looked up from the ground and put her eyes on me. I looked into her eyes and wondered what she had seen and what she was trying to tell me. I thought her eyes would give her away, but they just confused me more.

I could tell by Alice's face that she didn't want to tell me, but she knew that she should, because I needed to know. I just hoped she would tell me.

"I saw her disappearing. She wasn't here. " Alice said. That was all she said and that was all it took for me to understand.

My mouth closed in shock and I fell from my sitting position onto the grassy ground. That was all it took for me to stumble. That was all it took for my heart to break and the hole I once had to be ripped open once again. I put my arms around my abdomen trying to hold myself together. The pain was twice as excruciating as when Edward left. That pain was included with the fact that half of me and half of Edward disappeared. It was worse this time because both of us were gone, and there was no one to patch up the pain and strands of one of our lives. Once Renesmee or Edward was gone, I couldn't live. There was no way I would want to live. I gave up my chance to live. I gave up my want to live. I'd give up everything.

Alice sat there wanting to do something but didn't know what to do. She was as helpless as me. I sat there, rolling on the grassy ground, holding myself together. Once a scar was reopened, the pain was worse. The scar after would be worse. But that wouldn't matter. If I lost Renesmee, I'd give up life. No matter how hard it was to leave it. A pain like this would not heal with time, and nothing could make it better. Not even my sunshine, because he would be in pain too. Jacob, my sunshine, half of Renesmee, would be lost. Half of himself would be lost, and he wouldn't be able to live either. Everyone would be drenched with sorrow and worry. Renesmee had affected all of our lives in some degree. And once she was gone, she left a huge gap in each of the many lives she had affected. A gap that couldn't be filled. A gap that would slowly but surely kill each of its victims.

I looked up into the sky and saw a large black cloud. That was how it was going to be. Jacob couldn't be the sunshine, because he would be in pain, and the huge, dark cloud would cover him. He wouldn't be able to shine again, once his source of energy and life was gone, there was no more of him. There was no more of us. There was no more of anything. At least anything that mattered to me.

I let myself fall apart as the rain fell and drenched me. The things that were building up over the best part of my existence was being poured out. Being poured out at one time, entirely consuming me. Entirely drenching me in the pain that was building up inside me on the other side of the wall I had put up to block the pain. But, the pain was getting too strong. At that time, the worst pain I had ever felt in my existence attacked me. My wall had collapsed. Now all the pain was rushing over the spot where the block once was. Rushing over it and consuming anything in its sight. Slowly killing me, but slowly giving me justice.

The next thing I felt was Alice's arms around me. Now I felt guilty. Alice was the one in pain, and I was supposed to be the one easing it, not the other way around.

"It's okay Bella," Alice said as I laid my head in her lap. "We won't let it happen. We're stronger." I didn't hear her. I was falling into darkness. I was drifting away. There was nothing that could take me out of it. Nothing to save me. Nothing to save me from myself.

The minutes that passed seemed like an eternity. The rain fell harder and harder until I could no longer hear the soft breeze blowing in the trees. I sat there in the middle of the meadow with Alice, both of us completely helpless. Both alone. Both in pain.

Having Alice there was comforting. She knew what I was feeling, and I knew what she was. But, I was being ripped apart piece by piece in front of her. I wasn't sure she knew what I was going through, but I was sure she felt pain as bad as this. I was glad Edward wasn't here. He wouldn't be able to stand to watch me in this much pain. It would hurt him more than it hurt me knowing that I had felt this before and he was the one who had once caused it.

I lost time as I lay in Alice's arms. Time didn't matter anymore. It passes. Passes without healing. Passes without anything. There was pain that couldn't be healed with time. I knew that. But, as I sat there completely helpless there in the meadow, I knew there had to be something that could ease something as bad as this. If there was something to start it, there had to be something to end it. I just didn't know what.

"Bella," Alice whispered into my cheek. "I'm so sorry." I knew Alice was sorry that she couldn't help me. But, I was even more sorry that I was doing this in front of her. I knew I wouldn't get a chance to fall apart in privacy, so I decided to keep it here. But, I did know Edward was probably reading Alice's thoughts right now, so, I really wasn't falling apart alone.

I wanted to respond, but I was occupied with holding myself together. I knew if I opened my mouth a scream would somehow find its way through my pale lips. I settled for nodding.

The rain continued, but the wind got stronger. It blew past our faces and our hair went with the wind. Each time my hair got out of place, Alice would tuck it behind my ear. She was so loving, I didn't deserve it. But if she wasn't here, I wouldn't know if I would be conscious. The pain would have completely consumed me. Like it had when Edward left.

"Bella," Alice said trying to comfort me. "It hasn't happened yet. We'll be able to stop it. Don't worry. We will have it under control." The fact that it hadn't even happened yet made the pain I was feeling even more embarrassing. But, I knew the only people who Renesmee was going to disappear with were the ones that I had once rushed toward in order to save the reason for my existence. I knew we wouldn't be able to stop them alone. They would find a way to get her back, no matter how hard or disastrous it would be.

"They'll find a way, though." I said. "They always do."

"Bella, honey, you don't know that. They change their minds. You don't even know if they were going to kidnap her. She might disappear with Jacob again." What Alice said was very likely, but I just knew the Volturi were planning this. Every since they found out her, they had their eyes set on her. And hearing the word kidnap made it all even more real. I just had to remember it didn't even happen yet.

"I'm so sorry, Alice. I shouldn't be doing this. It's just that...." I sighed. I didn't know if I should tell her about the aching pain in my chest that was silently ripping me apart. I wouldn't know if she would understand.

Why did this always happen to me? I was here for Alice, and I was taking up her time and I was the one who needed someone there for me. Why did it seem like every time I turned around, the Volturi were there ready to do something that would affect my existence and make it terrible? Why was this hole ripping me apart Wasn't one pain that agonizing enough.?Why did I have to go through it again?

I got out of Alice's chest and straightened up. "Why," I said in a serious but straightforward voice. "Why me? Why is this always happening to me? Can't I just live without anything getting in the way? Why do I have to worry about Renesmee or something else every time I turn my back.? Why do I have to live with the fact that I might not see my daughter again in the morning?" I was sucking in breaths in order to continue. "Why?' My mouth was just a whisper now.

My head fell into Alice's chest, and I didn't care if I was embarrassing myself. I didn't care about anything anymore. If my daughter was going to disappear, I didn't need to care.

To my surprise, Alice jerked me up out of her chest and forced my eyes upon her.

"Bella. Listen to me. We will not allow this to happen. It hasn't even happen. Everything is going to be fine. Renesmee will be fine. Stop worrying and moping around. There is more important things to be worried about." Her voice wasn't loud anymore. "I still don't know what I'm going to do." She bit her lip and looked at the swaying grass in front of her. " I don't know if I can do anything."

I decided to speak up though the pain in my chest hadn't eased at all. It wouldn't be appeased until I absolutely knew that Renesmee was safe, and everything was going to be okay. And no one would be put in danger because of my existence.

"Alice, tell me what has happened. You're strong. You wouldn't be giving up this easily. There is something bothering you, and I have the feeling that you're not causing it."

Alice looked up at me. My breathing stopped when I saw her face. Her face was streaked with pain, agony, embarrassment, but relief. Relief that someone else knew. Someone else wanted to help her.

Alice answered. "I saw myself leaving. And not….coming back." For that one instant, I was awakened out of my pain and into a new surge of it when I heard the words "I'm leaving." One thing was sure now in my life now: I had to hold onto the things that I loved or they would leave me.


	7. Vision

_**Alice answered. "I saw myself leaving. And not….coming back." For that one instant, I was awakened out of my pain and into a new surge of it when I heard the words "I'm leaving." One thing was sure in my life now: I had to hold onto the things that I loved or they would leave me. **_

Alice dropped her head into her hands. It was probably from embarrassment. "I saw myself leaving you. You guys. I was alone. Escaping danger when I could, but leaving you guys to deal with it alone." Alice's words reminded me of when she left when the Volturi were going after Renesmee. She had left because of the danger, but, she also knew what was to come, and she went to find something that would help prevent it from happening.

"When did you see this, Alice? This is important." It was hard to get the words out. The pain in my chest was not going away and with every word I said it intensified.

Alice seemed to sense how hard it was to get my words out. She wanted to answer, but there was something holding her back. Holding her back from helping herself.

"During the meeting. When I walked out. Esme came, but she didn't help." I knew when Alice walked out that she had seen something and it was bothering her. It was gnawing on her insides and messing with her head.

"Alice, I can't help you. It's for you to decide. You can stop yourself leaving, and stay. But, if you want to leave, you can."

Alice nodded but then she frowned. "You mean you wouldn't care if I left?" Her eyes were full of betrayal.

This would have stabbed at my insides, but I was already falling apart.

"Alice, of course I would care if you left. I wouldn't want you to leave."

"Then why would you let me go?" Alice asked in a confused voice.

"Because, you have your own life, and you have the right to life it. I wouldn't want you holding back from what you wanted to do because of me. Living with the fact that I stopped you from being happy would surpass the pain I would experience. seeing you go. I would much rather see you happy then in pain."

Alice looked at me with a smile. "Bella, I don't deserve you." She wrapped her arms around me.

"Alice, let's get this straight. You do deserve me, and I'm the one who doesn't deserve you." Alice frowned and then smiled. At least she appeared to not be in the action of being swallowed by pain.

It was quiet for a little bit. Our happy talk to each other was forgotten as I asked Alice a question.

"Alice, what did you actually see.? Was that all you saw?"

Alice gulped. She either didn't want to tell me something or she wasn't expecting this. After all, she was being jolted from the relieving happiness into a fresh new passion of pain. I didn't want to cause her unnecessary pain, but I needed to know what she had seen because that would be the only way I would be able to help her.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Alice. You don't need to tell me. I just need to know, because.." I refused to let myself say the words. I knew the words were true, but a part of me still was hanging onto to the fact that nothing was going to happen and it made it much more real when I didn't have to say them.

Alice nodded in understanding. "Bella, you need to know. It's okay."

"Thanks." I managed to say.

I looked at Alice waiting for her to start. She looked around the meadow and in the sky as if she was looking for something. I knew what she was doing. She was making sure there wasn't anyone or anything else out there except for her and me. I started to shake. Whatever she wanted to tell me was only meant to be heard by me, meaning, it was serious. I just didn't know _how_ serious.

Alice looked at me after she took her eyes off the last group of trees surrounding the meadow. She laid down on the grass, her hands behind her head, and I laid down next to her. The wind brought the rain with it, and it hit our bodies hard, but it bounced off. After all, our skin was like granite.

"It was when Carlisle started talking about them that I started to see…things. I wanted to tell everybody what I was seeing, but everyone was so caught up in what Carlisle was saying, I didn't get the chance. But Edward saw, and that was why he was edgy." Alice stopped and waited for the right words. "Anyways, as I was scanning through your future and some of the stocks I do daily, I came across-" Alice started taking in sharp breaths.-" Renesmee. You weren't around, and Renesmee was in a dark place. A place that hadn't be inhabited for what seem like a century. I saw her looking around and walking in circles, not knowing what to do, or what she _could_ do." Alice stopped. It sounded a lot like me when Edward was gone. I didn't know what to do, and there was no one there to help me. Renesmee was lonely, and for some reason, she was in a dark place, wandering and going nowhere.

"What was she wearing?" I asked involuntarily. When someone I loved was in trouble, I automatically became a robot. It was the only way to numb myself of the pain and to keep myself from jumping off a cliff and into the ocean of insanity.

Alice closed her eyes looking for the answer. A few seconds later, she raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Her pajamas. A pink cami, and yellow sweats with the word, "Love" imprinted on the left side of her leg."

Alice looked at me for my reaction. "Her pajamas?" I asked.

Alice nodded.

"But, what? Why would she be wearing pajamas at….." Before I could finish my sentence, I understood.

"At night," I said in a horror filled voice.

"Yes. When nobody is watching. I don't why, but…" Alice closed her eyes and scanned the future. My body was frozen as a statue on the wet grass. I couldn't move if I wanted to. Renesmee would be captured at night, when no one was watching. That means that something would get in the way so Edward and I couldn't be watching her. This added so much stress and pain to my already crumpling body that when Alice shook me I didn't answer.

"Bella!" Alice yelled in a horror filled voice. "Listen, she's in a ally of some sort."

I jerked up. "An ally?" I asked with disbelief. At least it wasn't at the beach or anything where she could fall off one of the cliffs into the water and meet her death. I wasn't the only one who was uncoordinated in this family.

"I'm not sure, but it's dark and dirty. And, she doesn't know what to do. If she doesn't make a choice soon, she…." Alice closed her eyes and didn't finish the sentence. I couldn't believe she left me hanging like that. I needed to know. She had know idea how much pain this was causing me each time she paused.

"Alice, tell me now. What is Renesmee going to do if she doesn't make a choice soon?" I said this in a serious voice that surprised me.

Alice took a deep breath before she answered. "Before she could make that choice there was a wind that carried the essence of fear. Renesmee started to sense the fear, and she turned around and around making sure no one was behind her. Then, she sees for the first time in her life 3 black cloaks walking towards her. She looks around for a way to escape, but she finds none. " Alice looked at me with fear.

The Volturi. A pain stronger than what I was feeling streaked through my chest. My daughter was facing the Volturi, and I wasn't there to protect her or make her feel safe. Like Edward had done to me.

I wrapped my arms around my torso and got off the ground. I sat up, and rocked back and forth, somehow wanting to ease the pain. I never did. This new pain ripped through the parts of me that I had thought were already consumed and crumpling with pain. I wasn't there to protect my daughter. I wasn't there to make her feel safe. She was alone. Alone with _them_. I refused to let myself say the word again. It brought along a deluge of memories that would have added to the pile of pain waiting to run its course.

Alice sensed my distress and wrapped her arms around me. I was worried that I would fall apart with her in front of me again, but, I reminded myself that it hadn't even happened yet, and it helped. But the fact that I wasn't there protecting my daughter still tore at me .

"Bella, I'm so sorry. This is so much for you to take in at once. Do you want me to stop?"

I so wanted her to stop so I could actually start to bear the pain, but, I knew that I couldn't handle falling apart like this several times. It would do more damage in intervals then at once. A clean break.

"No, continue," I insisted.

"Bella, are you sure.? You don't need to know all at once. I can't imagine how this is feeling for you." What Alice was offering was so appealing, that I again had to remind myself what would happen if I stopped.

"Alice, continue."

Alice looked at me with concern but then continued. "The Volturi approach her. She looks at them puzzlingly and the Volturi get a kick out of this. Renesmee….tries to run in the opposite direction, but they were too fast." Alice looked at me wondering if she should continue. As hard it was hearing about this, it was also relieving that I actually knew what was going to happen instead of wondering if they were going to kill her. After all, if she was going there, it was either because they wanted her for something, or they were holding her as ransom. Either way, it was like she was being killed. She would be gone, and that was as worst as her dying. Her being forced into their evil plans would be worse than death. It would be heartbreaking and agonizing for her and as well as me, as _us_, wishing that we could trade places with her. But couldn't.

I looked at Alice and I didn't need her to continue. I already knew what was going to happen. At least at that moment. That was all we knew. How she was going to disappear. We didn't know what she was going to do, or where she was going to go. We were clueless. We knew approximately where and when it was going to start, but we didn't know what would happen after that. There was a gap, and I knew the Volturi were trying to do everything that they could do to make sure that gap wasn't filled. They wanted her. My daughter. My life.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I can sketch it out for you, if you wish. It would give you a better insight of what…that place looks like." Alice brought me out of the thoughts that were starting to consume me.

I totally ignored Alice's question and asked another. I knew Edward knew about this, but I wanted to make sure. If he didn't know, I would run to the cottage and go get him.

"Alice, does Edward, and Carlisle know?" I waited for Alice to answer the question. She waited a minute before she answered. During that minute, I wondered if I should run to the cottage to go tell Edward now because Alice was hesitating and that meant she was thinking something over, and not knowing if she should tell it to me or not.

"No," Alice answered simply as a gust of wind blew through her hair.

"No?" I asked in a surprised yet angry voice. "Why?" I asked again.

"Because, Bella, I feel like you have the first right to know. After all, you carried Renesmee and you are the most attached to her. And, I also thought you would rather, ….you know, by me. And not in front of him, or anyone else." She knew that I was going to fall apart, and for my sake and Edward's she wanted me to do it alone, or at least by her. She knew that when I fell apart I totally gave up my mind and let the pain control me. She knew that from when Edward was gone. She knew how tattered I was. She knew how hard it was to watch me, knowing that she couldn't help.

I couldn't respond. I just nodded.

"Don't worry. Bella, after I'm done, I'm going to go tell Carlisle and the rest of the family. I thought you should go tell Edward. But, I think I know by now, he already knows." That eliminated one thing I needed to do when I got to the cottage. I wasn't planning to talk about this a lot. Every time I either mentioned it or thought about it, I knew the pain would double and start a new passion and frenzy of pain in my chest. I didn't want to fall apart twice. No matter how much I knew it would happen and how much it would hurt, I refused to register this thought in my mind.

"Is that it?" I asked in a hopeful voice. "Are you done with that part of the vision?"

"Yes," she answered softly. "But, there's others. If you want to hear about them."

I wanted to encourage Alice to speak her mind, but I also didn't want to hear about anymore of the visions. They were all too painful, but I had to get over it. If I got over the pain first, it would be easier to live instead of waiting for it and wondering how much it would hurt and how long it would last. Painful anticipation wasn't what you would call enjoyable.

"I want to hear about them," I said in a voice that I hoped didn't show how painful this conversation was for me.

Alice looked at me doubly but then started. "After Renesmee disappeared, I was too scared and surprised to listen to Carlisle or look into the future anymore. I was afraid I would see something I didn't want to see. So, I concentrated on the stock market and some of the global disasters coming. But, I couldn't escape the visions. As I was scanning Florida's hurricane schedule, I came across something that I had never seen before and didn't expect to see. I saw myself, alone, somewhere. I saw myself in your cottage, and writing a note. A goodbye note." Alice's voice was starting to get closed. "I tried to stop the vision, but I couldn't. I was stuck in that vision and I was watching myself doing something. I knew it had something to do with leaving, but I didn't know I was the one who would be doing it. As I looked at myself even more closely, I saw the look on my face. It reminded me of when I left you for South America hoping I could stop the Volturi from killing Renesmee. I was sad, lonely, heartbroken and betrayed. And I knew at that instant, when I looked at myself writing the letter, I was sealing my heart away, Bella. I knew that I was writing the note to you because I knew you would be the only one who would understand why I left and where I was going. I didn't want anyone else to get involved, but you. I knew you would be the only one who would understand." What Alice said would have brought tears to my eyes if I was capable of making them. Alice was sealing her heart away. To me. Another heart being sealed away for me. Why was I so special that it seemed like everywhere I went, people were leaving and I was the only one they trusted and love? There was something wrong with that. I wasn't perfect. Not at all. I had been heartbroken, I wasn't clean, so why were people entrusting me with their perfectly, unbroken hearts?

"Thank you, Alice. I hope I do understand you. But, you saw yourself heartbroken and betrayed?" This would have added more pain to what I was already feeling, but I could handle it. After all, there was already pain rushing through my veins racing towards my heart to break it once again. I didn't need anymore little stabs of pain that would eventually build up to a heartbreak and outburst. I just didn't want that to happen right now. Alice was telling me things that would be very important for the future and essentially the present.

"Yes, I saw myself in a heartbroken state. As I was sitting at the table, I saw myself writing with a look of pain and betrayal. I scanned the future and the present to see what would cause some thing, but, I came out empty. I know it would appear eventually, but, to be honest, I don't want to know. If it comes at one moment, I won't be anticipating it and it would cause less pain, but, before I could escape from myself and the visions, the vision changed. As I was sealing the letter and placing it where I knew you would find it, I saw myself wondering if I really should go through with what I was going to do. But, I didn't have time to change my mind. I walked to the door, looked over my shoulder at the house and the pictures of myself with Carlisle and the family, and I felt like…" Alice stopped to look for the right words. "I was betraying you now. But, I knew, you were thankful for the time I had with you, and I was glad for all the years I had with the Cullens. I turned my head around, and took in a deep breath. I walked out the door, leaving my family, leaving my shelter, leaving my life. But, I knew at that moment, that I was doing this for a good reason, and that leaving my old life would bring me to a new one, and I knew that I would find another family to live with, but, I knew no body could ever be like the Cullens. With that," Alice choked over her words. I knew she was telling me what she thought she thought at that time. It made it all the more emotional. Alice saw herself leaving her life, but the most heartbreaking of it, was that she didn't want to leave, but she knew she had too. She also knew that she would find another family whom would love her, but she was certain that there wouldn't be any other family like the Cullens. Alice was sure of it, and I was too.

"With that, I left the house and my life." Alice said as she looked to the ground. She didn't want to leave, but something was forcing her to do it, and I had some idea of what it was, but I wasn't positive that was the motive for her departing.

Alice took her eyes off me and didn't put them back on my bewildered face to see my reaction of the vision. I wanted Alice to suffer in silence, but, I wanted to know if she knew where she was going to go after she left. Wherever it was, I wanted to know so I could check in with her from time to time, and I wanted to make sure the vampires were hospitable and cordial, and they wouldn't reverse her way of life and make her into the vampire she was supposed to be.

"Alice," I said gently. "Where are you going?" Alice didn't look up when I asked her this. She continued to play with the locks of swaying grass and flowers. But, she did respond.

"That was when the vision ended as abruptly as it started. I tried to see the rest of it, but I didn't want to. I knew that wherever it was, it would break my heart knowing I was better off living here. But, I knew, that that was my home now, and there was no use of remembering the past. But, I refused to register that thought. As long as I would live, I would never forget the past, even the most painful memories would stay implicated in my head forever. I don't want to lose you guys. I don't want to lose myself."

I nodded. I knew what she was feeling. She didn't want to forget all the wonderful and painful times she had experienced. Either way, they reminded her of us, her life, and I guess, herself. She didn't want to lose herself, and forget about all the times she had with the Cullens. It was what I wanted to do with the most precious memories of my human life. I didn't want to forget them, even though they could have been so much better, there was something about them that you wanted to remember. I wanted to remember in generations and centuries to come about my father, my mother, my human family, and Jacob. I wanted to remember why, when, and how I first saw Edward. I wanted to remember the nights I slept in his arms and chest and the first time we kissed. The first time we saw each other, and the first time we realized we were stupid enough to fall in love. I wanted to remember this meadow. The meadow that was the center of our love. The meadow that I would remember the most. I was positive in a few decades the meadow would be covered completely with leaves and high grass, but, I was positive, there would be no weeds. The meadow where I first felt that Edward loved me, just me, not for my body or anything else. He said that I was the most important thing in his life now. The most important thing ever….

I was awaken from my memories when something in the back of my head reminded me that this talk wasn't about me, and there was someone next to me hurting and waiting for me to say something. I quickly thought of something to say that would be innocent enough to hide that I was stuck in the fantasies of Edward and I.

"Alice, are you going to leave?" That was the most important question now. Even though it was extremely heartbreaking asking this question, it was very important. Everything else centered around that one question that would change her life and as well as mine.

I was worried when Alice didn't lift her head to answer. I was afraid that something I said hurt her, but, she lifted her head before I reached over to touch her hand.

Alice looked at me with bewilderment and confusion. I could only guess what she was feeling.

" I don't know," she finally answered. "I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I make one choice, someone won't like it, and my family tie with that person would be cut. I'm afraid."

"Alice, you _do not _ need to be afraid of what your decision is. Don't care about anyone else. I want you to do what will be the best for you. I don't care if anyone else likes it, or if it hurts us. As long as you are doing what you think will be the best for you, it will always be fine. Rosalie, Emmett and Edward won't get mad. You don't need to be afraid. Just because you can see the future and we are losing you, doesn't mean we won't be able to live. And, if they are mad, I swear they'll be the first to get what I think of them."

" I know, Bella. I know. I just want to leave you guys in a state that would make my departing more bearable."

"So, you are leaving." I said in a voice almost inaudible.

"Bella, as of my visions, I guess I am. But, I'll do my best to make sure that doesn't happen, along with Renesmee. I just don't think I'll be able to not leave. With the visitors and the Volturi, and now this, I don't think I'll be able to keep a straight head. I might need to leave for some other reason. I just-" Alice took in a breath- " can't do it all." What Alice said gave me a thought. Was she leaving with Jasper? She had to. If you really found your soul mate, you couldn't leave them, no matter what the situation may be. But, maybe, Jasper had something to do with this. I knew that I shouldn't be going around making wrong assumptions, but, I felt that Jasper was playing a role in all of this. He wasn't the main character, he was one of a few, but he was definitely the most dominant character in whom mattered the most.

"Alice, Jasper?" I knew that was all it took for her to understand. Alice swallowed and forced her eyes on me. She wanted to answer, but she didn't know if she could.

"I didn't see him." I was surprised even though I was expecting this. She hadn't seen Jasper because of two possibilities. One of them I so wanted to believe, but I couldn't pretend that the other one didn't exist and was the most possible outcome of this whole situation. One, Jasper wasn't present for that part of the writing. But, wouldn't he have if he was going to say goodbye? And second, Jasper really did something to Alice, and she needed to leave, or Jasper left her, and Alice found no need stay with us anymore. It was because of Jasper she went to the Cullens, and once he was gone, there was no ties holding her to this family. No ties except me. And I wasn't the most sturdy tie. I have been ripped and torn apart, scattered in pieces many times and stitched up. I wasn't reliable. You never knew when something or someone would come around and cut that tie in half. She was safe if she didn't rely on me.

I nodded. "Alice, have you seen any other vision having to do with this one? Or, have you seen Jasper in one of your recent visions? Maybe they will show him and why you haven't seen him."

"I haven't seen any recent visions, but, Jasper, he might have been waiting outside. He didn't feel the need to say goodbye for some reason. Either way, there is something wrong if he's not in my visions."

"What do you mean, "Not in you visions?" Is there something wrong when he's not in them?" I looked at Alice and saw she was staring at me with such intensity that it surprised me when I looked at up. She really was telling me the secrets that have been burdening her for years, and she really needed to pour them out. There was too many that she could hold back. Just like a full dam and a new rainfall, her wall was breaking and the secrets were being poured out and consuming anyone in sight. And I had the honor to be the only one around.

Alice sensed to get what I was asking. "Usually, when I am going to make a life changing decision, he's usually in them. But, in this one, nothing. Only me." By the sound of her voice I sensed that she was really alone, and even her mate has left her.

"Really? Why do you think that is?" Alice didn't immediately answer. I was glad she was thinking it over. If she knew this answers at the top of her head, it meant she had thought about them before, and if she had, that meant the more time she had been alone think about this things?

"Because, he's apart of the decision and so am I, so, it would only be natural if he got a say or part in the decision, or vision." Something suddenly came to my mind. If Jasper wasn't in the vision, it meant the vision wasn't a life changing decision, or, it might as well have meant that the decision didn't apply to Jasper, or he had left her. Either way, the vision was the vision, and there was no way of changing that.

"Alice, I think, the vision might not have been what you think it was." I waited patiently for Alice's reaction and for her to comprehend what I was saying.

"What do you mean the vision might have been a different thing from what I thought it was. Of course it was, I saw myself writing a goodbye letter to you!" Alice looked at me with betrayal.

"So, it could have been something else." I wasn't sure if I was right anymore. It really seemed like Alice was going to leave.

"No, Bella. Did you see my face? I wouldn't have been that devastated for anything else than me leaving you, or for someone I thought meant to the world to me had just left me. I know I'm going to leave." I didn't want to fight any more. I knew I wasn't going to win. Let Alice think what she wants to think, and I can do the same. I shouldn't be fighting with her. If she really was going to leave, I didn't want to spend the minute time I had with her fighting. That was something Rosalie would do.

" Okay, Alice. I'm not going to fight with you. If you really are going to leave, I want the time we still have with each other to be the best. You believe what you want to believe, after all, you can see the future, and I'll believe what I want to believe." Alice's surprised and angry face uplifted and she smiled.

"Thank you, Bella. For everything." Alice scooted over to me and put her arms around my torso holding my broken body together for me. I put my hand on the arms hugging me.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Alice whispered into my ear as she arched her head. "Sorry for everything."

I didn't respond. She knew, or at least I hoped, that she knew I was welcome for everything, and she probably knew I would go off saying I would do anything for her and she deserves more than what I'm doing. Figures.

"Alice, please tell me that was all you saw."

"Don't worry, it was, but-"

"But what," I said interrupting her.

"But I'm probably going to see something more soon and I'm not going to want to see it. But I'm going to because I know it will mean a lot to you if you knew." I gave out a sigh of relief.

We stayed silent for a little bit, and the pain that I was able to bear for a few minutes came back. It hit me so hard, it blew the breath out of me. Alice seemed to sense it, and she let go of me. She backed up, and she knew I was going to break down, and she didn't want to be in the middle of it. It was funny how everything came all at once. I suddenly remembered Renesmee, and Alice, and how I would probably never see them again. It was to hard to comprehend. All I could understand was that I was going to lose two of the most important people in my life and I would probably never see them again. It was enough to comprehend for the pain to attack and for me to suddenly be consumed by darkness. It was more painful that anything else I had even experienced. As strong as I was being a vampire, I still couldn't resist the pain. There really was nothing to hang on too. I was slipping off the edge of a cliff with the ocean under it, and my fingers were gently slipping off one by one. I was only being held in place by one finger. Edward. He was strong enough to hold up the rest of my body forever. And I knew it.

I drifted into the darkness only comprehending the pressure of that one finger. Suddenly, I could feel that finger slipping. The finger I thought would hold me up forever. I wanted to reach out for him, and say no, but I knew I would slip. But, I reached out for him. I was going to slip anyway. I knew I was slipping, but my mind wasn't concentrating on that. Suddenly, my last hold on the earth slipped, and I was left spiraling through the cold, dark air.

He let me go. My life. It was letting its other half slip. It was as simple as that but as painful as being cut apart piece by piece with an ax. The one I thought would make me live was letting me go. Letting. Me. Go.

I would have been completely consumed if I couldn't feel the arms around me and the urgent voice calling my name. "Bella, honey. Bella?"

Then another voice, " Alice, what happened?"

Alice answered. "I told her."

"Told her what," Edward said urgently.

"I was going to have her tell you, but, I figured you were listening."

I suddenly remembered where I was and I wasn't actually slipping off the cliff. But I might as well have been.

I wanted to open my eyes, but they were too heavy. I didn't want to, but before I could stop it, I was falling. Falling through the air. There was relief for one second. I was free of worry as I was spiraling through the air. I was free and there was nothing stopping me, but the cold, freezing water under me. I wanted to fall into the water, to feel the rush of the cool water after spiraling through the air, but, as my fantasy was about to come true, I felt a hand. A hand that caught me before I fell. I knew that hand even if I were blind. It was Edward's. It was cool, smooth, and meant for me. I urgently grabbed it thankful that I didn't fall. It was too real. I couldn't be able to feel this hand if this was a dream.

I quickly jerked up from the position I was on the ground and opened my eyes. To my surprise, I had been dreaming. Not exactly dreaming as if sleeping, but day dreaming. And, there in front of me, was Edward.

Edward breathed a sigh of relief. "Bella, are you okay," he said urgently through breaths of relief. I was confused. I didn't know why I slipped like that, and I knew that I was fine physically, but mentally and emotionally, that was a whole different ballgame. I knew he meant emotionally more than physically, and I wanted to tell the truth. But, I knew he would freak out and feel like it was his fault. Anyways, he would find out I was hurting eventually.

"Yah, I'm fine," I said in a voice that I hoped didn't give me away. "I just feel..a little weird." I quickly stood up, but lost my balance as I placed my right foot on the ground. Edward and Alice caught me before I could fall.

Edward led me by my elbows to a rock on the side of the meadow. "Bella, there's something wrong, and you are not okay."

I didn't answer. I let Alice do all the talking.

Edward sighed and sat down where I was sitting. He wiped the tangled hair out of my face and put it to one side on the left side of my shoulder. He then looked over at Alice on the other side of the meadow. I could tell by the expression on her face she wished she could do something.

"Alice, what happened?"

"Don't you know?" Alice said in an annoyed voice. "You're the freak of nature who can read minds."

"Actually, I don't," Edward answered in a matter of fact voice. "I said I would let you tell Bella first, and I didn't want to go back on my word. You know me better than that."

"I sure do," Alice said in a bored voice.

"Alice, just tell me."

"I don't think I can explain that to you unless I tell you something."

"What?" Edward said confusingly.

"Edward, I saw something," Alice in a voice like she was confessing. "And, I couldn't handle dealing with it myself. I needed Bella's help."

Edward's face was expressionless. "Saw what." He said in a tone of disbelief and seriousness.

Alice looked at me with worry. I nodded my head urging her to go on. "Volturi and Renesmee." We both looked at Edward expecting his reaction.

After registering the thought in his head Edward jumped up angrily. "I knew it! We need to get Renesmee home now. I can't believe I let her get away like that."

"Wait," Alice said as Edward was pulling me off the rock.  
"Wait for what?" Edward said in an annoyed and angry voice. "We don't have time. We need to get Renesmee home as soon as possible. The Volturi might make their attack in Italy because they know we are not there to protect her."

Alice didn't argue. She just got up, and stayed frozen in that same position. She usually was the one to take on thrilling and life changing situations like this, but I understood what she was feeling. She needed time. Time to be away from everyone else and everything my existence had inflicted on her. I nodded my head as Edward lead me out of the meadow. Alice moved as if she were saying sorry and I instantly felt like I was leaving her once again. But, I agreed with Edward. We needed to get Renesmee home as soon as possible. But, I didn't want to leave Alice, and I hoped that I would come back in time to save her from herself. But like all situations it seemed, you had to leave one important thing in your life to save another.


	8. The Call

As we left the meadow, I thought as if I was leaving a part of myself behind. How many times could I lose my own self, without completely dying inside?

As we ran through the forest, Edward stammered me with questions.

"Edward, you should have been nicer to Alice. She's going through something and she needs help."

"But Renesmee. The Volturi. And, uggh, Jacob! I can't deal with them all let alone with her. I can't do everything!"

"I know, Edward, I know, it's just, you don't know what she's going through." I picked my words out carefully so they couldn't reflect anything that I hoped would offend him..

Edward sighed. "Bella, I'm so sorry I couldn't have been there. I should have never left, or I should have at least listened."

"No, Edward. It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I just feel like every time I turn around, the Volturi are there trying to ruin my existence. Plus Alice, I just can't handle it all."

Edward slowed to a walking pace after I said these words. Suddenly I wondered what I said that would have offended him.

"What's wrong with Alice?" He said in a voice that expressed how he realized that Alice was in trouble and he should have been kinder to her.

"She's in a time of great distress and loneliness. She doesn't know what to do." I said this without looking at Edward because I knew he would see in my eyes how I had gone through the same thing. He would be reminded of the pain I had gone through because of him leaving. It would ruin his day and possibly his existence.

Edward sighed. "Why?" I glanced from the tree I was staring at to Edward.

"She can't handle it either. She can't do everything." Edward sat on the ground and put his head in his hands. I sat next to him, and put my arms around his waist.

"Here I'm complaining about everything and she's there rotting away to pieces." I was surprised by his use of words. Rotting away to pieces wasn't the best way to put it. But that didn't matter right now. Edward was now feeling bad about himself, and I was the only one around to comfort him. If we were in a room full of vampires it wouldn't matter, I would still be the one obliged to do the consoling.

"Edward, it's okay. You are _not_ perfect. I talked to her already. I promised I would help her. Everything's okay. You don't need to feel guilty. I'm here with you. You don't need to worry."

Edward took his head out of his hands and turned his head towards me. I could see the eyes I loved through his long eye lashes. But, in the pool of darkness in Edward's eyes, there was something and I didn't know what it was. But, whatever it was, it probably wasn't meant for me to know.

Edward got up and then pulled me up by my hand, and shook his head. "We need to go. I'll discuss this-" he shook his head looking for an answer- "at home. I'm going to call Jacob first. I need to know where they are. We've wasted enough time." Edward said this so harshly that I could do nothing but obey him.

I nodded. Edward knew what he was talking about. There was no use arguing. I was going to tell him all about what Alice had seen, or leave it up to him to find out himself. Either way, he was going to know.

The first thing we did when we arrived home was to rush for the phone. I was surprised Edward didn't have his cell phone with him, but if he did he would probably run a huge bill arguing with Jacob for hours. Knowing Jacob, he would keep Edward on the phone do it on purpose to get the most time he had with Renesmee. Figures.

I waited patiently on the couch while Edward was calling Jacob. As Edward was dialing the number he hoped Jacob would answer, I instantly felt a twinge of guilt. I knew the Volturi might go after Renesmee when we were not there to protect her, but I also knew that by doing this we were disrupting their time to together. I already knew Jacob spent as much time with her as he could and he really didn't need to take her on this trip, but it was sweet. It was Jacob. He wanted to do whatever he could do for Renesmee to maker her happy, and he also knew that Edward would kill him if he brought Renesmee back home harmed. But, in the midst of it all, I was comfortable with Renesmee and Jacob going away together. Once I got over the surprise of them leaving, it was sweet knowing that someone other than me was experiencing true love. It was also comforting knowing Jacob could defend Renesmee when he needed to. After all, he was a mythical creature too, and if God forbid the Volturi did come, Jacob maybe could hold them off until someone came.

I turned my head in the other direction when I heard the phone ring. I didn't want to hear the worse, and most of all, I didn't want to see the rage on my husband's face. I didn't like seeing him look the creature he was supposed to be.

I closed my eyes waiting for Jacob's voice to appear. I hoped he would answer, but secretly, inside, I wished he didn't. I knew Renesmee was safe wherever Jacob was, and I didn't want to disturb the time they did have together. I didn't want to be pessimistic, but I didn't know if they too would spend an eternity with each other.

"Damnet," Edward said under his breath. " The mongrel won't answer."

"Edward you know Renesmee is safe wherever she is with Jacob. There still is a chance that the Volturi will steal her then-" Edward was getting madder by the minute and I knew there was no way that he would leave Renesmee there, so I gave up. There was no hope fighting against reality.

"Call again," I said in a blank less voice.

Edward turned his back to me, and dialed the number again. This time I prayed that Jacob would answer for his sake and the sake of the things in a 5 mile radius of Edward. Including me.

To my relief Jacob answered. I closed my eyes expecting the worst.

"Hello," Jacob answered in a confused voice.

"Listen up, mongrel. Cut the crap. Where's Renesmee?" By the sound of Edward's voice, I knew Jacob and him weren't going to understand each other well.

I got out of the chair and backed up to the other side of the room. I had a feeling that this conversation wasn't going to be the best. I didn't want to be in the way when Edward lost control.

"She's actually at the Colosseum right now. She wanted to go on one of those tour deals. I was tired, so I went back to our hotel room. You know her, always wanting to learn m-" Edward interrupted Jacob.

"You have no idea how much danger Renesmee is in at this moment. And you have left her alone? How could you. You know something could happen."

Jacob was serious this time. "What's going on."

"Why does that matter right now! Go get Renesmee."

"I can't. It would take 30 minutes- plus for me to find her. She knows Rome a heck of a lot better than I do. That's why I let her go alone. I knew she would be able to find her way."

"Call her, " Edward demanded. I was suddenly thankful for Renesmee's 3rd birthday present. A cell phone. At age three she was about 10, and she was just like her father meaning she knew all the latest things and wanted the latest things.

The phone went silent for about 45 seconds. But, in those 45 seconds, there was expressions on Edward's face that I had never seen on him. Finally, after what seemed like a day, I heard Jacob get back on the line.

"She's not answering," Jacob said expressionless. "She always answers."

_She always answers_, I repeated to myself. _She always answers._


	9. Race

"What do you mean, she's not answering!" Edward said in a angry

voice. "Dial the number again!"

Jacob did and Edward cursed when all he heard was her voice mail.

"She's just not answering." Jacob said simply. He knew the gravity of this situation now, and he was as stressed out as we were. "When I call, my name shows up. Obviously, she would answer it, but now, nothing."

I stayed frozen on the other side of the room expecting the worst. I looked at Edward's frozen face knowing we couldn't do anything. I could only do something. I knew that this situation could really not be what we expected it to be. She might have simply shut it off so she could listen to the tour guide without interrupting anything.

Edward grunted when he was deciding what to do. "Jacob, go to the Colosseum. Find her. I swear, if she isn't brought home unharmed, I'll.." Jacob got the point. Edward slammed down the phone and wiped his forehead.

"Edward," I whispered. "She might have shut her phone off for the tour."

"But we've been calling her several times, and the phone has been vibrating. She'll know if something was wrong if someone kept calling her."

"She might also get annoyed and not answer it."

"Bella, we can't take chances!" Edward yelled. "The Volturi! You don't understand!" I backed up bewildered, confusion plainly layered on my place face. .I knew that Edward never would yell at me on purpose, and I knew he was yelling because his daughter in danger. It was like me being in danger, of course he would be freaking out. But, it still hurt. The pain in my chest was a pain I couldn't comprehend. My heart wasn't breaking, my whole body and soul was breaking apart. Edward was apart of my soul, apart of my existence, and when he hurt that part of myself of course I couldn't live. I couldn't bear the pain that I was causing. Couldn't run away from it.

I backed all the way to the door at the end of the room and left Edward there. I had to think. Had to clear my head. Had to figure out something without Edward yelling. Had to bear the pain.

I knew Edward was going to realize what he did, but right now his mind was on Renesmee, and no one else. I knew Jacob wasn't at the Colosseum yet, but there was a possibility that he was. There was always a possibility. A possibility that he wouldn't come in time to save my daughter. Or at least find out where she was.

Right now, I was worrying about nothing more than my daughter. Not even the vampires up stairs who could escape at a moment's notice. Wasn't even concentrating on the pain though it clouded my mind, I was trying to see through it.

On the back of the wall outside the door I slid to the floor and put my head in between by knees trying to breathe and comprehend what was happening. Everything was coming at once. Edward, Alice and what was coming up, Renesmee, my pain, and the Volturi. It was too hard to realize. All I could do at this time was to breath. In hale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Keep breathing…breathing….breathing.

I thought of two things we could do. One, we could fly there and if God forbid the Volturi did kidnap her, we'll get her back somehow. I just didn't know how. Two, I knew I was going to lose someone I loved in order to save another. But, I knew I was going to get Renesmee back. Even if that meant I would have to give up myself in order to fulfill it.

In the other room I could hear Edward yelling at Jacob on the phone. Obviously, he couldn't find her.

"Are you there," Edward said in a serious voice.

"No, but about another 15 minutes I should be."

"Jacob, listen to me. You have to transform."

"Where? There's no forest, or anything."

"Just do it!" Edward slammed the phone shut. I waited for him to walk out of the room. By now, I knew when he made a decision. I could feel it in myself.

I closed my eyes when I heard the door open in front of me. But, when I looked up to see if Edward had an angry expression on his face, I was surprised. It was Alice. I was glad. She had seen something and came.

Alice saw me on the floor and walked over to me and crouched so she could be eye to eye with me. "Bella, get up. We need to go."

Before I could get up Alice pulled me up by the arm. "Get Edward," she said softly. Alice knew that I couldn't control anything when I was in pain, so she was controlling it for me.

I hesitated for a moment and Alice had a confused expression on her face. "Bella, what's wrong? Did he do anything?"

I wanted to tell her, but there was more important things to do. I turned around trying to conceal the expression on my face that would give me away and walked into the room Edward was in. I was surprised when I was in there. Edward was on a couch, his head in his hands. The room wasn't destroyed, that was a surprise.

"Edward," I said softly. "Alice is here." Edward took his head out of his hands and looked at me with eyes I would never forget. This was what he must have looked like when he found out that I was supposedly dead.

Edward must have seen the expression on my face when he suddenly got up and went over to me. I bowed my head to the ground to hide what I was feeling towards him.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward said very slowly. " I didn't mean to say it that way." Edward looked at me but I didn't look up.

"Bella, as long as I live I will never yell at you again. I promise." I could feel the intensity of his glare on my cheeks.

"Promise," I said to the ground.

"Promise," Edward said reassuringly. I smiled. I knew Edward would not go back on his promises, but the pain was still there. It would never go away. It would most likely stay with me for the rest of my existence. But, I would forget it living with Edward. I also knew that I would most likely discover it again.

"Let's go," I said. Edward followed me out the door and to the garage without even acknowledging Alice. As we reached the garage, I urged Alice not to take the Porsche 911 Turbo. I didn't want to repeat what happened just 5 years ago.

To my relief, we took Edward's car because it was the fastest. I quickly got into the car. I let Alice do the driving. She would be the most stable in this situation. Edward and I were a different story.

As we drove to the airport, the sense of de ja vu overwhelmed me. But, my daughter was who I was rushing to save this time. The passing lights of the freeway and the entrance of the airport were a reminder. A reminder that there was lights in this world, but losing them would bring devastating consequences. If we lost Renesmee, I couldn't live with myself. If we lost light, the sun, the world couldn't go on, let alone live.

We entered the Seattle air port and it was busy as usual. At the ticket desk, Alice and Edward somehow figured a way to get in front of everyone else and buy the tickets. There was trouble at first, but, of course, Edward dazzled the poor ticket woman and she ended up giving him first class seats that were sold out to Rome in a matter of a couple of minutes.

I was literally dying when we were waiting for the plane for Rome to arrive. I watched the plane through the waiting area and wondered how it could be going so slow when there was someone out there who needed that plane to save the one they loved more than themselves. I kept staring at it knowing it was teasing me by going so slow. The only thing that was holding me from running through the closed terminal to the plane was Edward's arms around me. I knew that it was going as fast as it could, but it seemed it was doing the opposite. There was nothing for us to do but wait and wonder. Wonder if we were going to be fast enough, wondering if this was a false alarm and Renesmee really was safe. But we weren't going to risk it.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, they were starting to let people in. As we walked down the terminal, I knew that this might be my last time I was in Washington. I also knew that I was traveling towards something that might have stolen my life from me. That's why I grabbed Edward's hand in the plane, and wouldn't let go. I wouldn't allow myself to sit by myself, because I would lose it and fall apart. Edward would effectively keep me tied together when I was about to slip.

And he did. But, as I was laying my head on Edward's chest and looking out the window, I wondered what was to come in my life. What was to come in Renesmee's. What was to come in Jacob's. I quickly remembered Jacob and how he was looking for Renesmee. He might have found her.

"Edward, call Jacob." I said quietly.

"We can't yet, we are taking off." Edward answered. I sighed and took his phone out of his pocket and sent Jacob a text.

Jake, where r u. Find Nessie?

Send me a text as soon as possible. It might b 2 L8.

I quickly snapped the phone shut and held it in my hand waiting for Jacob to respond. In the attempt, I managed to drop the phone a couple of times when I would hear a phone ring

behind us, thinking it was Jacob. I also was shaking my knees, a habit I had no control over when I was human and has unfortunately took more effect in this new life.

Edward realized my habit, and tried to stop me from doing it, but now he was so tense it didn't matter. It was only Alice in the seat next to us who was scanning the future to see if she could find anything.

I closed my eyes hoping that I could distract myself from the noises in the plane and the phone in my hand which seemed like it weighed fifty pounds. When I was almost on the verge of slipping, the phone in my hand vibrated. It startled me, and I jumped up. Everyone was looking at me, obviously meaning they were wondering what the matter was. I smiled, then frowned once I was out of anyone's eye site and turned around for the bathroom the phone in my hand. Edward caught my hand before I could walk away. He got up and followed.

I realized Alice had not opened her eyes. I knew she was entirely consumed by the future that even if she could hear the phone she wouldn't be able to respond.

Two teenagers on a school trip smiled when they saw Edward and I going into the bathroom together. They noticed, and probably the whole other row in the back of them did, meaning they would know it was Edward and I if one of us screamed or destroyed something.

The bathrooms were small, but Edward and I managed to fit in effortlessly. I opened the phone knowing that this was possibly the most important text in my existence.

Bells, sorry. Rn't there yet. I'm at the Colesseum, but, can't find Nessie. Don't know what 2 do. Help!

I quickly sent him a text with Edward's anxious glare on my cheeks.

Jake, we r coming. Tri 2 find her. Plez, find her.

I dialed Jacob's number this time to find out where he was and where the Colosseum was. I was surprised by the voice that answered.

"Bella," Jacob said through tears. "I can't find her, I don't know what to do." This was one of the moments were everything around me was clear. You understood what was happening, after constantly looking at this long and indefinite wall of blur. Jacob couldn't find her, he was heartbroken. This was the one of the rare times Jacob would cry. He had reason to, though. He was losing his other half, and how could he live with himself if half of himself was gone?

"I know, Jacob. I know." I said soothingly. "Alice and Edward are with me. We are going to go to the Colosseum and find out where she is. Okay? Now listen. What are the directions for the Colosseum? And where are you."

"Where are you!" Jacob screamed.

" Shh, Jacob. We are on a plane. It might be a couple of hours before we arrive." I decided to throw in a joke. "Better late then never," I said in a voice I hoped lifted the mood.

"What the hell Bella! I don't know where this place is," Jacob confessed. "I'm lost." Jacob didn't speak.

"Great, mongrel," Edward said into the phone. "Nice going. Now we have to find you."

"Wait," Jacob said making us jump and made me stick my foot into the toilet. "I see her. She's walking around, but is being towed by a person in black." I could hear the bobbing of the phone in his hand as he ran.

Suddenly, I lost Jacob. I tried to dial, but couldn't. I looked at the screen and it had a low battery sign.

"Damnet! Edward, does Alice have a phone?" I ran out of the bathroom not caring about the people staring at me. I somehow managed to fall and crush a poor old lady at the same time. Before I could reach Alice, a waitress stopped me.

"Excuse me, miss, but could you quiet down. There are people sleeping." I didn't respond but pushed her out of the way as I headed over to my seat.

I shoke Alice's shoulder taking her out of her visions. "Alice," I whispered silently. "Do you have your phone?" Alice toke the phone out of her jean pocket and quickly handed it over to me. "Why?"

"Jacob thinks he's seen Renesmee with them." Alice jumped up and asked the nearest flight attendant how far we were from Rome.

"About thirty minutes away, miss. Now, I must ask you to take your seat. We have had a warning of some turbulence in our direction. Clouds and stuff, you know.".

Alice turned around and sat down again. I had to hold my fingers steady as I dialed. But, Jacob didn't answer until I was considering flying this plane myself.

"Bella, its her for sure. But, as I was heading under the arch, I lost her."

"Jacob, who was the person in the black. What did he look like. What did he do?"

"Bella, all I saw was the back of him. He was taking her somewhere. He realized I was chasing her, and lead her somewhere else, making me conclude he's one of _them_." Jacob stopped and caught his breath. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't catch him."

"Jacob, I understand. Don't go blaming yourself for this. We'll take care of that part later. But, we'll be there in about thirty minutes. So hold on. We'll be able to find her."

"What if we don't," Jacob said in a breathless voice from running.

"Jacob," I shook my head to somehow clear it, "we will. I promise." I shut the phone off and put my hands over my eyes to concentrate on the positive things of this whole situation. I let my brain take complete control over my body, that way I wouldn't feel the pain…

I raised my head when Edward shoke my shoulder. "We are there." I quickly got up and flew off the plane with Edward and Alice following me. At the airport, for some reason, it was packed. I first thought it was because of the weekend, but I stopped in my tracks when I saw a sign on the flight terminal.

I slowly turned my head towards Edward. "It's the nineteenth, isn't it?" I put my eyes to the ground. This was the day the Volturi really took their victims. It was Saint Marcus' Day. Doomsday.


	10. Run

Edward took my arms and led me out of the airport into a Ferrari of some kind before I could think too much of it.

"Edward, directions to the Colosseum."

"Make a left here and keep on going." Edward looked out the window with a frown. "Then you should be there."

Everyone was quiet as we raced down the cobbled stone streets. I took out my phone and text Jacob.

Jac, we r in Rome. Meet u museum shop.

I waited for Jacob to answer but we arrived there before he did. We left the car on the side of the street not caring if we ever saw it again.

"Alice," Edward murmured angrily. "Where is he?"

Before she could answer I spotted Jacob under a tree across the street, his head in his hands. I pulled Edward along with me without telling him what I was doing. I just ran not caring what was behind me. Anger and relief was pulsing through my veins giving me this feeling I couldn't control when I saw Jacob had given up.

Running across the green lawn in front of me took too much time. I refused to realize how ironic this situation had turned into.

"What the hell are you doing Jacob!" Edward said, after we both came to an abrupt stop in front of him.

"Jacob," I said calmly, surprising myself. Jacob looked up and sighed with relief. I grabbed his hand so he was standing erect.

"Why'd you give up?" I asked sadly.

"They have her already. There's no point in chasing her," he answered. I looked at him in surprise. He had a lot to learn about holding onto the ones you loved. After all, he let me go. "No. Jacob, no!" I yelled at him. "You never give up on someone you love!" Jacob flinched in pain. At that moment, I knew he was thinking of me.

"I guess I'm so used to giving up the ones I love to someone else," Jacob muttered.

This wasn't fair. This wasn't right. This wasn't supposed to be happening here. Renesmee was Jacob's. I wouldn't let anyone else take her away from him. It was the least I could do to pay back the large debt that I acquired from him. Didn't he know that? I shoke my head and murmured, "No." I grabbed his hand and pulled him along, having no destination in mind, at least at this moment. "No," I said again. I turned around to him and forced his eyes upon me. "You are coming with us. You are not giving up on Renesmee. I won't let anyone take her away from you." I forced Jacob to run with Edward, Alice, and I. And we ran, ran, ran, and ran. All I concentrated on was my feet slamming onto the stones on the street. Rhythm, Rhythm was what I needed to save me from destroying myself: I had all this time for thoughts about Renesmee.

However, we were careful not to expose ourselves especially on a day like this. So, we carefully ran through tunnel ways hoping we would find her somewhere.

"Jake, where did you last see her?" I asked finally.

"Under the clock tower," Jake said calmly. This had the opposite effect on me. Edward grasped my hand even harder knowing the resemblance of this situation. I guess my vampire life was a repeat of my human one.

I turned my head away when I saw the fountain in the middle of the distance separating us from the clock tower. A testament to what I had found, but then lost. I had to hold on to the ones I loved, or they would leave me. I quickly walked around it and didn't look up. It was too risky. I didn't know what I would do if I accidentally lost it.

We reached the clock tower. There were tourists under it sitting gracefully and calmly on hard, wooden benches. I almost screamed at them because of the serenity plastered on their faces. They did not realize the gravity of my situation. It was dark under here. It was just the sun peaking through the sky on the sides of the tower that gave us light in the cold, dark, and cobbled stoned passage under the large, intimidating clock. I grabbed Edward's hand and we looked in the little crevices in the clock tower hoping to see her face peaking through one. "She's not here," Alice said calmly. "They wouldn't have taken her here. They would know this would be the first place you would look."

"Well, Alice. Where is she? You seem to be so positive that she isn't here." Jacob looked intimidating with only a small amount of light on his face.

"She's probably in the city somewhere," Alice said snapping back.

"Let's take this situation logically," Edward said calmly, surprising me. He turned to Jacob. "Jacob, this was the last place you saw her, correct?"

"Yes." he said simply.

"Okay," Edward looked over at Alice. "Now, where do you think she is?" Alice closed her eyes after giving an antagonistic glare to Jacob. We waited in the dark and lonely silence for a couple of minutes before Alice answered.

Alice opened her eyes and lifted her eyebrows in surprise. "They're at a pizzeria, eating outside on weaved tables and chairs, being surrounded by flowers." Alice moved before I did. "I know where it is," she said quickly but with disbelief layering her tone. "Follow me."

I moved hesitatingly, but Jacob lagged behind. "A pizzeria," he said with disbelief as he glanced the restaurants we were passing. "Why?"

"I don't know, don't ask questions. It's probably because they expect us to be looking for l obvious places, not restaurants."

Jacob looked to the ground worried. "Yah, but there's hundreds in this area alone. How are we going to find her?"

Alice ignored him knowing that you could never appease Jacob.

We were normally stared at, and I was used to it. The beauty of this life gave me more justice than I deserved, and I sometimes enjoyed it. But now, I felt like every eye was down on me watching my every move so I had to be careful for what I did so I didn't expose any secrets. I caught one man in a red tie and blazer staring at me with wide eyes and with a dumbstruck look on his face. I shook my head knowing that they're was only two possible reasons why he was doing it.

It seemed like every restaurant I passed, there was no one who resembled Renesmee one bit. Of course, she was possibly the most beautiful "15" year old in existence, but I expected someone to have the same shape of her torso and maybe her long, brown, curly hair. Maybe someone in this world was a slight closer to her beauty than others. It would only be fair. _It would only be impossible, _I reminded myself as we crossed corner and corner and saw no one looking the slightest like her.

"Wait," I said stopping in my tracks. "Wouldn't they be near the Colosseum, because if they walked around in the pale skin and dark cloak with Renesmee being terrified, people would notice as they passed."

"No, Bella." Alice said in a breathless voice. "I saw them. I know where it is."

I stepped under an umbrella covering a table and sat down. "How do you know," I whispered so only Edward and Alice could hear. "He could be tricking you. How do you know it might not be Lucas, doesn't he have two gifts?"

"Yes, he does," Edward said. "But, yet again, no one knows about them except for the Volturi. But, the vampires who do have two gifts, it seems like they always inherit seeing the future or making someone believe something that their future is one thing but, it's something completely different."

Alice and Jacob sighed at the same time. "Bella, we can't waste time. We need to go to the place, now." Alice and Jacob got up out of their chairs and made us follow. I had to give in, I hadn't made my point yet.

I hoped what I was doing was smart. If I lost Renesmee, and I was just a couple of words away from saving her, I wouldn't be able to live with myself even if my body did keep me going. I couldn't stand knowing I had my daughter's life in my hands, and then I was just a few seconds away from having her in my arms.

"What if she isn't there," I whispered to Edward through the loud fading sound of traffic and pedestrians as we walked away from all signs of human civilization.

"I've thought of that," Edward said leaning towards me but keeping his eyes from my face. "But, _we will _find her, even if that means," Edward shoke his head. He didn't need to say more for me to understand.

I shoke my head too. "But, Lucas…. What if she doesn't want to agree with whatever he says if he is kidnapping her? What if he touches her…." I put my hand over my mouth not wanting to give out a scream that humans would actually hear. I didn't need to say more for Edward to understand. But Alice and Jacob, they never turned around. I saw the worried look on Alice's face, and I really thought we were going to lose Renesmee. Lose me.

Edward put his hand around my waist and I leaned my head into his chest. We lagged on in the alleys of pizzerias staring at the smoke rising from the chimneys. This reminded me of what would happen if I lost Renesmee. The life in me would flow up, but leave a black ash, that flew in the sky for a little, but then dropped to the ground for everyone to clean up. It would be there for all of us to remember, until we couldn't live with ourselves and had to leave.

I knew we weren't going to find her. As we lagged passed pizzeria and pizzeria so did my feet. They were unwillingly moving towards something I wanted more than my life to know wasn't true. I had to stop Alice and Jacob from going in the other direction. I knew it was Lucas. I could feel it in my body, coursing through my veins, and throbbing in my head. When there was danger near, near to my daughter, I felt it. She was apart of me, and I couldn't escape danger that was mine

The Volturi were most likely playing tricks on us, fatal tricks that were so obvious yet so hidden. If I didn't find my daughter where I thought she was, at least I was running towards her, not the other way we were going now.

I had to make a stand, and I knew at that moment it wouldn't be easy and would possibly hurt someone. But that didn't matter. This was a situation of life and death.

"Stop," I said fiercely completely stopping my pace. Alice and Jacob turned around and looked at me with bewilderment.

"They aren't there," I forced myself to say slowly so they could understand. "Alice, he's tricking you, and you know it."

"No, Bella. Listen! We are almost there. I know we are! We can't quit now and go in the opposite direction!" I looked at Jacob pleading for him to agree with me, but he just looked more confused.

"Alice," I said slowly but in a sharp tone. "How do you know that he's not leading you there for someone else to meet you! How do you know!"

"Bella, please! Don't you care about Renesmee! We have to hurry before it's too late!"

"Of course I care about Renesmee! More than my own life! Why do you think I stopped!" I looked at Alice this time with bewilderment. Of course she knew that I cared about her.

Alice didn't answer, but instead gave me a pleading glance. "Please, Bella," Alice whispered. "We have to go."

"Yah, Bella. It's our only choice." Jacob repeated interrupting the cool October wind. He said this with the face that was all too much familiar. The glance he gave me made me forget about Renesmee for a second, forget about my vampire life, and go back to a time when things were what I thought complicated, but compared to this life, might as well been compared to walking on a cloud.

I looked at Edward knowing he would go wherever I did. He gave me the strength to get over the glance that Jacob gave to me. It was a glance that I had only seen two times in my life. When I left him to rescue Edward, and when he heard that I was marrying Edward. I had so hoped I would never get to see him like that again, but hoping doesn't do anything. It just crushes.

I closed my eyes knowing that would be the easiest way to reply. I had to go rescue Renesmee. I was positive that what Alice had seen wasn't the right place. It was easy figuring that out. But it was hard telling her it wasn't.

"Alice," I took in a big breath, "Jacob, I have to go. I'm sorry. I just have to."

I waited for their replies, but their was none.

I didn't need to look up to know what their faces would hold. I could feel them, and they were slowly killing me inside out.

"Okay, Bella," Alice said softly. "Whatever." I waited for Jacob's reply knowing it would hurt the most, but he never opened his mouth.

Alice and Jacob turned around and continued the way were they were going. A way where I couldn't stand myself to travel.

I turned around too knowing how much that just hurt, it was the best thing to do. I just didn't know if it was the right one.

I let the wind blow my hair in all directions as I ran down the alley with Edward behind me. I refused to let him catch up. I needed to feel bad, I deserved it. He would take the blame for himself. But, somehow, every time, he eventually caught up.

"Bella, they will forgive you. We are going to find them, that's all that matters." Edward used his hand to bring my head up so I was looking at him. His breath was sweet on my face and tongue, but right now I wasn't concentrating on that.

I closed my eyes. "No, they won't. I have hurt them so many times before. Why would they do it now."

"My Bella," Edward said sweetly smiling as he trailed his fingers across my cheek. "I won't let that happen." Before I could back away his lips were on mine. The kiss was as usual, but it was convincing. Tempting was the word for it. I hesitatingly put my hands around his waist and put my body closer to his. I knew he was going to stop, he was just trying to dazzle me. Get me out of my trace of thought to a new one. A happier one…

Edward gently pushed me away and took his gentle lips off mine. I opened my eyes before he did, and I gave him a angry glance.

"Come on, Bella," he said in that voice that always knocked the breath out of me. "You know you like it."

"Edward, we have to go. You yourself were all angry this morning." I turned around and sped forward looking for the Colosseum knowing that would be the most obivious place to look because that was where she was originally.

I gave up trying to make everyone else happy as I ran through alley way and alley way. I knew no matter how hard I tried to, I would never be able to give everyone else what they wanted. I had to concentrate on what I did have, instead of what I didn't. I should concentrate on just living this day, not the next. Every day counted, every second that I was given with the ones I loved mattered the most. I had to hold onto those seconds or they would drift away.

That's why I was running for her. I didn't want this to be the last day I would have with her.

I finally stepped foot on the cobbled stone street leading to the Colosseum. I looked up at the sky thankful that it was overcast and there was no chance of the sun suddenly coming out.

I didn't turn around to see if Edward was behind me. I knew he would catch up eventually. I ignored the people staring at me as I ran. They didn't matter. Edward didn't matter right now. It was my daughter somewhere only a distance in front of me standing with the ones I would have been running from, not towards, that kept me from looking. Knowing my daughter was hopefully only several yards away gave me the strength to not fall and be dominated by my klutz side. She gave me the strength to run. Gave me the strength to live.

As I ran, I only looked ahead. There was nothing in the back or the sides of me that mattered at all. But, what I saw out of my right eye made me stop in my tracks although I completely knew I had to continue. I turned my head quickly and saw someone sitting down at a table across from me. Peter. I didn't know how or why I stopped because there were thousands of people who looked the same as he did in the back but, for some reason, I happened too. I would never know why, but that didn't matter right now. Here Peter was, when I thought he was at home, under the constant care of Carlisle.

I ran across the street not caring about the water spraying my feet as I sloshed through the puddles or the feel of the rain as it fell to the ground, soaking my hair. As I ran, I couldn't help but yell as I got a closer look at him and where he was sitting. I stopped completely, in the middle of the street, when I saw my daughter, my life, sitting by him.


	11. Secret

"Peter, Renesmee!" I yelled but my voice was muffled by the pouring rain falling from the sky. Peter didn't turn around, but I saw Renesmee jump out of her chair at the sound of my voice. She obviously wasn't expecting me. That thought hurt.

I ran towards her as she ran out of the covered patio of tables and in between confused on lookers. It seemed like forever before she was in my arms. She wasn't the one who started to hug, I was the one who forced her too. She actually was confused, but I sensed that she was relived after being worried. I just wondered why.

"Renesmee," I said as I kissed her forehead. "I have you." I rocked her back and forth in my arms. And I instantly knew at that moment, that all the trouble and how I had betrayed Alice and Jacob immediately paid off because I had my life in my arms again.

"Mom," Renesmee said in a relived but annoyed voice.

"I'm here, sweetie," I said not wanting a reply.

She looked up from my chest and put her eyes on my face. "Why? Why are you here?"

I laughed knowing I should be asking her that question. "Why are you here?"

Renesmee hesitated not knowing what to say. She just shoke her head. "Well, I'll talk to you about that later."

"Oh sure we will," Edward said behind me. Renesmee switched her focus from me to Edward.

Her eyes brightened, but then stared at the ground knowing she was in trouble and Edward was the one who was most likely going to give it.

"No, Renesmee," Edward said as he lifted her chin up. "Not now, I'm just so glad I've find you." He gave her a hug.

I smiled not completely realizing that I had Renesmee safe and sound. The only thing that stopped me from dancing and jumping for joy was the fact that Peter was watching.

I walked around Renesmee, to Peter who was conspicuously looking the other way of us. I knew at that instant that he was hiding something and he was here for a reason, and it wasn't just chance that he was here with Renesmee.

"Hello, Peter," I said as I sat down on the other side of the table. He quickly looked up from the newspaper he was obviously not actually reading.

"Oh, hello Bella," he said in a fake voice. "What are you doing here?"

"No, Peter," I said as I jumped out of my chair and leaned across the table so my hair was touching his face.

"The question is, why are you here?"

Peter backed up in his chair and smiled innocently. "What do you mean? I was just dropping by in Rome, and I just happened to see Renesmee at the Colosseum. You don't think I planned this, do you?"

Edward walked over and looked at Peter with a glare that instantly made me feel safe.

"You know what, Peter," Edward said in that angry voice I loved. "I think you did."

Peter didn't answer but looked at us with disbelief.

"Peter, you don't understand. Renesmee…..she's in danger. And, when we couldn't "see" her, we were worried," I said.

"Why, would you?" Peter said. "No one would want her, right?"

"You know, Peter. Yes, there are dozens of people stalking her waiting for the right moment to come and take her. That's why we were worried," Edward said lowly. "You don't know how much she means to us."

"You know," Peter said. " I have an idea of how much she means to you. But, seriously. I just met her at the Colosseum. That's all."

"Well, it just doesn't seem like that could happen all by coincidence," Edward said angrily. "When we were looking for her, Alice saw the wrong place where she thought Renesmee would be. Someone fed the wrong information to her."

Peter laughed. "Seriously, Alice was just having a miscomprehension. Everyone makes mistakes. You can't blame someone for that."

"We have all the right too," I said. "You don't know, how confusing and frustrating it was, when we were trying to find Renesmee. Something inside of me told me to go the other way, and that voice inside rarely comes out."

"What, now you have voices talking to you in your head?" Peter said jokingly trying to enlighten the conversation.

I looked at Peter with disbelief. "Peter," I said slowly. "How did you get to Rome."

"By a plane, of course," Peter replied.

"I mean how did you get out of Carlisle's eye. He was constantly watching you. But obviously, that wasn't the case in this situation."

"I asked Carlisle if I could go. He said I could. He also said that Renesmee was there too, and he thought it would be good if I kept an eye on her when she was with that mongrel."

"You're lying," I said angrily. "I can hear it in your voice!"

"What do you mean, I'm lying? Seriously, Bella. That's the whole story!"

"No, it isn't! It just doesn't seem possible that Carlisle would let you out so soon after the accident. He would never, it would be too risky!"

"Well," Peter said quickly. "Obviously he wasn't thinking about that when he let me go."

"Oh sure the hell he was," Edward said stepping in. "He never lets that leave his thoughts. It's a promise, we all vowed to keep."

"Well, that poor little Carlisle broke the promise," Peter said in a voice that belonged to a moody teenage boy. "You'll have to deal with him when you get home. I won't. After all, it was his decision, not mine."

"Wait a minute," Edward said pointing at Peter. "It was all and more your decision. When you came into our household, you became apart of the family and its rules. You endangered yourself and our existence at the same time. It wasn't Carlisle's decision. If someone tells you that you can jump off a cliff, it doesn't mean you go do it the second your are allowed too. You have to think about the consequences. The effects before you let go. Before you jump.

Peter shook his head as he stared at each of us. Renesmee's face was still layered with fear, but it's depths were lined with relief. I could tell by the look on her face she was stunned beyond words, and couldn't speak even if she wanted more than the world to.

"Peter,." I shoke my head looking for the right words. "It doesn't matter how you got here anymore and what you did. It's now about Renesmee. All I am saying is that there is someone following us. Someone following her. Wanting to get her. And they won't stop until they find her."

"I know that. But you think that I'm playing the role of someone else I'm not. I can't just blow it off," Peter said.

"Well, you just blew off the fact that you just met Renesmee in a Colosseum when you were supposed to be at home. Do you know the chances of that happening?"

"You know what," Peter said as he picked himself out of his chair and threw his folded newspaper down onto the red and white checkered table cloth. "I'm leaving. Okay? I don't have any answers for you. At least answers that you are looking for."

At that moment Peter stormed out of the patio, and across the street, disappearing behind a dark corner as the sun does behind a cloud. The wind picked up, and the clouds completely covered the sky, casting a weird shadow on the little puddles on the streets. I knew Peter was lying. He was hiding something from us. I just needed to know what.

I looked at Edward with bewilderment and worry. Edward returned the same glance but then motioned his head to the side where Renesmee was sitting.

I instantly understood. I picked myself up and walked out of the restaurant to Renesmee who was sitting alone on a street bench next to a tall lamppost. I could tell she was terrified by the position her body was in. She was apart of me, and I felt all the pain she did.

I sat down next to her. She didn't move. It was like she wasn't aware of her surroundings but was in a whole different world.

"Renesmee," I said quietly as the wind blew through her hair. Edward walked over and stood against the lamppost. She didn't look up, but continued to stare at the grey ground.

"You are safe," I said softly. "I promise." I waited on the bench for Renesmee to respond for about ten minutes before I promised myself I would get worried. But, that ten minutes went as fast as the day I met Edward. I started to get worried, because Renesmee never moved. She continued to stare straight on at the ground, never moving her fingers. I couldn't even see her shoulders raise up and down at the movement of her breathing. All there was that was giving movement to her was the wind. It was blowing through her hair, bringing it all over, silently tearing me apart piece by piece knowing that there was no life in Renesmee right now. The life that was once mine had lost in magic. Lost it's fire.

Edward sensed my worry and walked over. At that moment, I felt like Bella for some reason, before I became a vampire. I felt helpless, but madly in love with Edward. I knew I couldn't do anything. So here I was again, in that stage of my existence being helpless. For some reason, if felt good. Like I was actually being taken care of. That feeling I got every time I saw Edward when I was still human, returned. I don't know why. Edward said that the human feelings would come back after a few years, but I didn't know this feeling would come back. Come back at this moment. I felt like myself again. Like I wasn't a monster, but just me, just me sitting on a street bench in the midst of the most tragic thing that has possibly happened to my daughter.

That memory brought me out of the deluge of memories of my human times. I knew that I would miss them, but I didn't know I would that much.

"Renesmee," I said loudly so she could understand the gravity of this situation.

"Answer me!"

To my relief Renesmee looked up but there was black lines of mascara trailing down her face. She had been crying, and at that moment, this situation was more serious that I ever thought it was.

"Renesmee, what's wrong," Edward said brushing the hair from her face.

Renesmee started to sob quietly. I couldn't tell the difference between the rain falling and her tears. They were falling at the same speed and quantity.

Renesmee didn't answer but just shoke her head. "Where's Jacob," she said through quick and heavy breaths. "I need him."

I saw Edward's face turn down. "Okay," he said while reaching into his pocket and grabbing his cell phone. I could tell he was hesitating. He didn't like this situation more than I did.

As I saw the tears dripping down Renesmee's face, I knew there was something wrong. Something that she was hiding from me, and it was slowly hurting her second my second.

Before Edward could hear Jacob's voice, it was right behind us, followed by the soft sound of Alice's stilettos.

I turned around towards the other side of the street, and saw Jacob and Alice urgently looking for us. Before I could call or signal them, Jacob spotted Renesmee. I saw his worried face turn from anxiety to relief and then back to worry, when he realized she was crying.

My breath stopped when I saw him running between the cars of incoming traffic and heard people cussing and yelling at him. The commotion was great, but he didn't care. His whole life and existence was centered on Renesmee, and his life was hurting. There was nothing else in the world that would stop him from making his life feel better.

I could see the disbelief on Alice's face. I couldn't comprehend all the emotions she was feeling at that moment because she herself could not comprehend them.

"Renesmee," Jacob said with relief and anger as he jumped over the curve of the side walk. Renesmee looked up when she recognized the voice that she had been attached to her whole life.

"Jacob," she said as he finally reached her. "Renesmee," Jacob said through sobs the muffling of sobs. Jacob lifted Renesmee up from the bench into a huge hug. "I didn't think I would ever see you again."

"Me either," Renesmee said laughing through tears. Renesmee and Jacob didn't separate. We were so close to losing her, and now that she was safe, there was no way we would let her out again.

Jacob and Renesmee sat down on the bench. I was unaware of Alice quietly whispering to Edward. I turned to the lamppost where Edward and Alice were talking, and they stopped when they realized I was watching.

Edward saw the hurt on my face and frowned. I looked away and concentrated on Renesmee and Jacob.

"Nessie, what happened," Jacob said as he wiped the tears of Renesmee's face with the sleeves of his grey jacket.

"I was afraid I wouldn't be able to see you again," she said as she laid her head on Jacob's chest.

Jacob put his chin on Renesmee's head. "Well, I'm here now. You don't need to be afraid."

I wondered why Renesmee thought she would never see Jacob again. I knew that there was something wrong with Peter and he was lying but I had no idea how it connected with Renesmee. I also didn't want to bring Renesmee out of the happy time she had with Jacob and make here remember the past events that scared her, but I had to if there was any way I was going to figure out what Peter had done.

I turned to Edward and Alice. They were whispering again, this time more quietly. It hurt to know that Edward was hiding something from me, but I knew there was a reason he was not sharing it with me. He probably expected me to figure it out myself.

I looked at Edward purposely, trying to catch his eye. It wasn't hard to because he was constantly staring at me as if he was going to block a stray bullet that was storming towards me.

Edward gently hit Alice in the ribs with the tip of his elbow. She stopped and looked over at me. She sighed as Edward walked forward. I knew he saw the look on my face and he knew that I needed to know what he was talking about.

Edward smiled as he took my hand. "Bella."

"Yes, that's my name. Do you have anything to tell me," I replied slowly. Edward stared at me with the eyes of an angel. Yet they were demonic. They were soft, yet scorched with heat.

Edward didn't hesitate to tell me. "Bella, Alice thinks you were right."

I didn't want to hear it, yet I knew it was true. I also was confused. I usually wasn't right. Well, when I thought about it, the more I guessed the more it was true. My conscious was to thank. It was tuned to another radio station than everyone else, picking up different things.

I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want to say, told you so, but I didn't know any other way to respond. But, my conscious side was taking over, so I had no time to think before I was saying things.

"So, I was right," I said slowly. I instantly felt sick. If I hadn't stand in the way of Alice and Jacob going the other way, my daughter would most likely be the hands of the Volturi. I shuddered at the thought.

"Yes, Bella, you were. But that's not the point." Alice walked over as Edward said this. Her mouth was down in a frown and she was looking at me with sorry filled eyes.

"I know that's not the point. But what is?" I already knew what the point was, and I didn't know why I wanted it to be repeated.

Alice stepped in. "They are going to do all they can to get Renesmee. Even if that means…" Alice didn't have to finish the sentence for me to understand.

It was like my legs were knocked under me. They shouldn't have been. I already knew this was happening, but, for some reason, my body just shut down do to the surprise.

I wobbled over to the brick wall on the side of us and slid down, my back against it. I put my hands round my knees, burying my head between my legs . "What are we going to do," I said softly.

There was a silence. I could see out of the corner of my eye Edward and Alice looking at each other, wondering what to say to me in front of Renesmee and Jacob that wouldn't freak all three of us out.

"Bella, I don't know. We are going to figure this out. We are going to find a way to deal with this." I took Alice's word for it.

Jacob overheard us and lifted Renesmee softly off his chest. Renesmee looked at him with hurt and wonder. Jacob walked over and stood a few feet away from me facing Edward. I could see his muddy dress shoes through my legs.

"Edward, what is going on. I need to know. I'm apart of it now." I could tell by the look of Edward's face that he didn't want to tell Jacob but had to because what he said was true.

"Jacob, you probably already know." The wind picked up and swayed my hair in all directions.

"You can be surprised," Jacob said to himself.

Edward became uncomfortable. He looked to the right and left and there was people everywhere.

"We can't tell you here. They still may be watching…." Edward motioned his hand for us to get up. We followed him past dark alley ways and cobbled-stoned streets. Fortunately, the place he wanted wasn't far away from where we started.

Edward led us to a secluded alley way behind a remote pizzeria. The bricks of the alley were bulging out of the wall and were dew layered. I sat my back against a dirty green dumpster full of white, wet, garbage bags. I could see that it was getting darker. I could no longer see the, grayish white clouds reflected onto the puddles on the stoned streets of the alleyway. But, instead, they were black, so they blended in with the streets. It only was the stars reflected on the puddles that denied the resemblance. I could tell Alice didn't dare to touch the walls of the alley way or this dumpster.

Jacob folded his arms and put them on his chest patiently and looked at Edward.

Edward caught Jacob's eye and sighed. "Jacob, I'm going to tell you the main point. I can't go into details because I don't know them myself. "

Edward sat down next me his eyes to the ground. I moved closer to him so I could smell his scent. I also wanted to feel protected. His scent and the way he moved his body made me feel like I was. Now, I only felt that. It didn't feel like Edward was there. His body was there against a green dumpster, but his mind was somewhere else. A place where I knew he could only handle.

Renesmee softly took herself from her position next to Alice for Jacob protective arms.

"Why is everyone going quiet on me? Do you just expect to guess what's happening? We can't go weeping around before we know what we are weeping for." Jacob said as he saw everyone was quiet and down in thought.

"What do you expect, Jacob," Alice replied. " They want her, and right now, we aren't ready to stop them."

"What do you mean, not ready to stop them! For God's sakes, when vampires came to your baseball game suddenly, you were ready, but now, when these people aren't even here, and it isn't a surprise that they are looking for her, you aren't ready for them? How is that?"

Edward shook his head. "Jacob, we are dealing with something stronger that a couple of nomads. The Volturi. They have a lot of members. Members that have gifts that you wouldn't imagine possible. Members that are blood thirsty and looking for rare pieces. They almost had Bella. And she had no gift. And Renesmee. She has one gift, soon two, making her even rarer." That thought led me to think about her birthday which we would be celebrating once we came back from this horrible incident. She was turning sixteen. My little nudger was growing up.

"Great," Jacob muttered.

"Yah, you get the point, now, don't you," Alice said. "This is serious. It isn't something we can take care of ourselves. That's why we are worried every time Renesmee disappears. We are afraid of the worse. And, it almost happened."

"Don't go blaming me now," Jacob said backing up from Alice with disbelief in his eyes. "I didn't plan this."

"We know you didn't," Edward said. "But, that's not the point. You don't mean to do things, but when you do, it has the opposite affect. Sometimes, things happen. And if you didn't do it, Renesmee most likely wouldn't have had that close of an encounter."

"Wait, Peter isn't part of the Volturi. Isn't he one of your adopted family members. Like your apprentice?"

"Yes, he is. I wasn't talking about him. I was talking about how one of the Volturi led him the wrong way from Renesmee. They were looking for, and were going to most likely make their move when we weren't there. Peter might have something to do with this, but, right now, I'm concentrating on the Volturi and what they did to Alice."

"Wait, wait! I'm confused! Now they did something to Alice?" Jacob replied.

Alice sighed. "Yes, they did. They made me go one way when I should have been going the other. Something screwed with my mind and made me think I saw one thing, but it was completely the other. If it wasn't for Bella, I don't know what would have happened."

I felt Jacob's glare on me. "What are we going to do for Renesmee?"

"Right now," Edward replied. "Let's give her time to recover. I still don't know why she is so scared after being with Peter. I feel like he has done something to her."

That sparked something in my mind. Where was Peter? And, what had he done?

I lifted my head out of my knees and looked at Renesmee. She was completely lost in this conversation. I would need to explain it to her later.

"Renesmee," I said. Edward looked at me with surprise. Renesmee looked at me with the same expression as her father had.

"What about Renesmee?" Edward said.

I waited a few seconds for Alice and Edward to comprehend what I just said.

"Of course," Alice said closing her eyes. I could hear the click in Edward's head as he understood what I said.

Alice walked over to Renesmee. She put her hands on Renesmee's shoulders. "Renesmee, what did Peter do to you." Alice said with concern.

Renesmee pursed her lips so she couldn't say a word. At that moment, I was hurting. She was not answering, and I knew Peter had something to do with it.

"Renesmee." Alice repeated. "What did Peter do to you." Renesmee closed her eyes and bent her head so her hair was completely covering her face.

I could see the horror on Jacob's face as Renesmee didn't answer. "Nessie," Jacob said shaking her on the back. "What did he do to you."

I looked at Edward with concern, but he didn't catch my eye. He was so consumed in what was happening. I know he was reading her thoughts. I have never been so thankful for that gift of his. As Edward's face turned from concentration, into anger, and then surprise, I walked over. Edward shook his head and ran to Renesmee.

"Renesmee," he said sternly, lifting her head up so she was looking at him. "What happened." When I could see tears trailing down her face, Edward started to get angry.

"I can't read your thoughts, Renesmee," Edward said. " Tell me what he did."

Alice's eyes were wide. She was surprised as I was. Ever since Renesmee was conceived, Edward could read her thoughts. Now, he couldn't.

Renesmee started sobbing. " I can't tell you."

"Why can't you," Edward said in a less angry voice. Renesmee looked at Edward with eyes that I will never forget. They were in extreme pain, and there was worry, everything that she had ever been through was reflected in her eyes. There was wanting in it too. She wanted to tell Edward, but she couldn't for some reason.

"He said I couldn't," Renesmee said through the muffling of sobs.

"Who," Jacob said.

"I can't tell you," Renesmee said looking to the ground.

"Renesmee, you tell me now!" Edward yelled.

"I can't," Renesmee said shaking her head and crying. "Or else."

"Or else, what," Edward said.

Renesmee started to sob loudly and excessively. "He said he'd kill you guys." _Do or die._


	12. No Midnight Moon Tonight

The pain and surprise that suddenly coursed through my veins was the worst I had ever felt. Edward turned away from Renesmee and put a hand over his face. I knew he didn't know what to do. He was stuck between Renesmee and I. And, I knew, he couldn't choose. Renesmee or Edward and I were going to die. It was simple as that, but as complicated as my life.

Renesmee saw us and shook her head. "I shouldn't have told you that," Renesmee said with a closed voice. "It just makes it worse."

I couldn't speak even if I was capable of doing so. What Renesmee said was better said then hidden. I was sure it would haunt her until it actually happened.

"No, Renesmee," Edward said in a confused voice. "It's better knowing than it being hidden. Even if is hard for us to live with it." Edward looked at me with lifeless eyes. He knew he was going to lose one of us. I was going to lose someone. And I didn't care if it was myself.

Edward shook his head as he realized what I was thinking about. "Never." he whispered slowly.

I motioned with my head to Renesmee. "I know," he said. I closed my eyes.

Edward walked over to Renesmee. "Honey, you need to tell you who said that. He won't know. Even if he does, we will never let him get you. Never let him go to you before he goes to us."

Renesmee looked at Edward with wide eyes. "He will know." That was all the information Alice needed to figure out who this person was.

"It isn't Peter," Alice said looking at the wet ground. "He wouldn't know if she told us. He doesn't have any gifts."

Edward looked up, bewilderment layering his face. "If it isn't Peter, it has to be one of the Volturi."

"Or one of their partners." Alice said.

"New borns?" I suggested.

"No," Edward replied. "It takes a minimum of five years before a new born could even think of receiving a gift."

"Then why did I-" I replied.

"Bella, because, you are special. Most new borns aren't like you."

"It has to be the Volturi then," Jacob replied.

"Not necessarily," Alice said as she walkedback and forth. I looked at Alice with confusion. "There are others out there." Alice looked to the ground. "Edward didn't tell you about this, didn't he."

"No," I replied

Alice looked at Edward angrily. "I didn't feel like I needed to tell her," Edward said. "One group of people like the Volturi are enough to handle. Two, for her, would be overwhelming."

"Still, you should have told her. She's apart of this life now. She has been for a couple of years. It's about time she knows."

"I'll tell her later," Edward replied. "I just didn't think she needed to know."

Alice frowned. "Anyways," Alice said "There are others. Edward will, I hope, go into extreme detail about them because they are smaller, but stronger. This kind of Volturi collects the rarest vampires out there. That's why they only have a few people in the group. Once they want you, it's almost impossible to get out of it."

"How do you know they want her," I said.

"I don't know," Alice replied. "But, I know, the original Volturi, once they try to get something, but fail doing so, they don't do it again. They move on. If someone is trying to get Renesmee again, I don't think it's the Volturi. They are strong, but are now afraid of us. Afraid of losing again."

"Where are the second Volturi?" I said playing with a strand of my hair.

"Nobody knows," Alice said. "Most vampires don't know they exist. The ones who do, like us, know very little about them. We are lucky to know this much."

"So, they can just come from anywhere," Jacob said.

"Yes," Alice replied. "They come suddenly and without warning." I frowned at Edward. What were we going to do?

"So, it's most likely them," Renesmee said unexpectedly. We all jumped up and took our eyes off each other, placing them on Renesmee's horror stricken face.

Alice looked at Edward with worry. Edward nodded. Alice took her eyes off Edward's face and put them on Renesmee's. "Yes." Before Renesmee could respond, Alice continued. "But, we will stop them. I promise, they won't find a way. A way to get you."

Renesmee's eyes filled with more worry. "We _will_ protect you," Edward said stepping in. When Edward said something, there was no reason on doubting furthermore.

"But they are more powerful," Renesmee whispered.

"That may be true," Edward replied. "But we will still keep you out of their hands. I promise."

"I'm so scared," Renesmee whispered. "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have come here with Jacob. They wouldn't have found me if I hadn't."

Edward looked at Jacob with an angry glance and then spoke to Renesmee. "Absolutely not, Renesmee. Don't go blaming yourself for this. We should have had a watchful eye on you."

"You couldn't have helped it. Who am I that I constantly have to be watched incase something happens? I should be able to take care and protect myself. You shouldn't have to watch my every move."

"Renesmee, please, don't go around blaming yourself for this," Alice replied.

"What else can I possibly do?" Renesmee said breathlessly. Everyone went silent. Especially me. She had no idea how those few words had affected my life so much a few years ago. When I was in the hospital, Edward said the same words. He didn't no where elsewhere he could go because wherever he went, I was with him, in the line of danger. Edward's words were the beginning of a New Moon. Renesmee's words were the beginning of a moonless night. A life that seemed dark. A life full of nothing. A night of no midnight moon.

I knew Renesmee's words had a meaning. They meant change was coming. It wasn't a comforting prospect knowing my life was going to repeat itself in almost the same manner, just in a different way. Change was coming. I could feel it. And I couldn't do anything about it, but wait.

"Renesmee, we'll talk about this to Carlisle when we get home. And after we'll find out how Peter got out," Edward replied.

Renesmee looked at us doubtfully. "I'm just so scared," she whispered.

"I know you are, I know," Jacob cooed. He grabbed Renesmee's hand helping her up from the bench. "You shouldn't though. Concentrate on your birthday. You're almost 16."

"It wont' matter, even if I live past it," Renesmee whispered so Jacob could only hear. Jacob shook his head like this comment was of no meaning. But I could see his eyes fill with water. He couldn't do anything. He didn't want to lose someone again. And for that reason, I vowed myself at that moment, that he wouldn't. He has given so much, yet gained nothing.

"Are you readyz/" Alice asked. Everyone nodded. We followed Alice taking the same direction we came in. I refused to look at the Colosseum. It was naturally a place of death. And I didn't want to make it more surreal. I'd always wanted to go to Rome, but, now, after this, I couldn't see myself stepping foot on its land ever again.

It was ironic how your life played itself over and over in the same ways. There was a problem, you fixed it. But it kept repeating, just in a different way. There always seemed to be something in the way of just a normal day. But, I came to find that the problems and challenges we do face in life that make life interesting. And it's the results that makes us keep on living.

When we arrived at the airport, I tried to look for Peter. One glimpse of him. See if he was taking our advice and going back to Forks. But, I never saw him. I assumed he was still in Rome, finishing his business. Thinking that _we_ had not the slightest clue of what he was doing.

The plane ride was hard for me. I pondered over thoughts that I was surprised I was capable of thinking. Tomorrow was my daughter's birthday, there was vicious vampires stalking her, and I no longer felt like I had the power to control anything anymore. And, I felt human. I felt weak, feeble. Like I hadn't been a vampire in the first place. I stared outside the window, looking at the stars. Knowing that they won't stick around forever.

Edward stared at me and Renesmee the whole time, like he only had a short amount of time left with us. Jacob wasn't sleeping behind us, but Renesmee was laying on his chest fast asleep. I could see the admiration in Jacob's eyes. Like Renesmee was still a child, and it was his duty to protect her.

When we arrived at Seattle National Airport, all of the Cullens were waiting for us. Including Charlotte. I refused to think why this was ironic.

Carlisle slowly, but quickly walked up to me. "Bella, I'm sorry." He put his hand around my shoulders.

I shrugged. "I know. But we will stop this." A few seconds later Alice appeared next to Carlisle.

"I don't know why this is happening," Alice said quietly. "How did Peter get out?" Carlisle leaned into her as if he wanted to whisper.

"I don't know," he said quietly. "He must have made his break when we were hunting."

Alice pondered over this for a couple of seconds. "But, Charlotte. Where was she in all of this?

Carlisle stopped abruptly. He closed his eyes in disbelief and dismay. "She was with us. She told us that we should go hunting before Renesmee's birthday incase anything happened." He shoke his head breathlessly. "But it was all a set up."

Alice shoke her head. " I thought Charlotte was nice, or at least in some degree definetly trust worthy." Alice looked to the ground. "Guess not."

Carlisle put his hand around Alice's shoulder.

"Why didn't I see this coming?" Alice said with shame.

"Alice, it wasn't your fault." Carlisle said comfortingly as her rubbed her shoulder.

"Than whose was it?" Alice snapped back . Carlisle closed his mouth.

Alice frowned. "Sorry, Carlisle. But, this pressure is amounting to a huge pile of anxiety, and I can't seem to block it out. Plus, Jasper's going to feel horrible that his friends are thought to be the ones who had done this." Alice sighed and massaged her temples as if that could some how calm her down.

Alice sighed and shoke her head as if she was looking for the right words to say. She gave up and shrugged herself out of Carlisle's embrace, speeding in front of us until she was no longer visible.

"Why is everything breaking part," I whispered when Alice disappeared sharply around a corner of an overpriced and cheesy gift store.

Carlisle sighed and shoke his head. "I don't know why. But, ever since Renesmee was born and her gift was made known to us, I knew this would happen eventually. I just didn't believe that the closest people would be the people to start it."

I nodded my head in approval. "But, what are we going to do?" I said as I slipped into the dark car. Carlisle started the ignition as I squinted my eyes to adjust to the light and grabbed Edward's hand.

"Right now, " Carlisle said looking at us through the front-view mirror, "we have to talk to Peter and Charlotte. We need to find out if they are apart of this, and if they are, why they are doing this.."

Edward frowned in disapproval. "What about Renesmee? We should question her first. She was with Peter for God knows how long."

"You're right, Edward," Carlisle said looking straight ahead. "She's probably going to end up giving more information than Charlotte and Peter combined."

I shuddered when I realized how horrific that information might be. What happened to my daughter? Did he touch her? Did he _rape_ her? Through all of this mess, one thing was for sure. It was my daughter's birthday tomorrow, and I hadn't even prepared. = )

* * *

_**Wanted to leave you guys hanging, but really not too much! Wanted to end with something enlightening, not depressing. Hoped you liked this chapter….it was really short, and had no real content, but I thought that you guys kind of needed it between all of these depressing yet exciting chapters! Thanks to all of the reviewers! Don't be afraid to hit that button! **_

**-Breanna**


	13. Home

The rest of the drive home, I found myself staring at the passing trees to distract my mind from reality. I could feel Edward's constant loving gaze, looking me over and over.

"Bella," he whispered into the darkness. I positioned my body towards him.

"I'm sorry," he said slowly into my ear. I could feel his cool breath on the skin of my smooth neck, distracting me from when he was saying.

I frowned when I finally managed to comprehend what he was saying. Why was everyone telling me they were sorry, when I was the one who was supposed to be throwing around the apologies?

I laid my head on his chest. "You shouldn't be."

Edward sighed and smiled. " I know, I just do it to make you mad. You are absolutely gorgeous when something upsets or annoys you."

I rolled my eyes. He smiled teasingly.

"I love you," I said in a somehow humorous way.

"Not as much as I love you." he said sweetly. If my heart could beat it would have suddenly sped up. I stopped myself before I could comment on that. I smiled at him and just sweetly nodded. I couldn't fight with him when it came to how much he loved me. I was still certain that I loved him more than he would ever love me, but I didn't dare to tell him that. I knew from previous situations, that it was definitely not worth the work. But, I could admit, I loved when he got worked up. It made me feel protected in some way, and brought me back to the times when I was human, fragile and weak.

I was brought out of my thoughts as Edward gently pressed his lips on my forehead. He let them stay there for a couple of minutes before he spoke again.

"I won't let anything happen to Renesmee, or you," he said with closed, troubled eyes. "I promise." I closed my eyes in agreement and smiled.

Edward quietly laughed. "Why are you smiling?" he asked breathlessly. I smiled back at him.

"You'd think I was crazy."

Edward frowned. " Bella, really. Why don't you think I would believe you?"

I closed my eyes. "Because, it doesn't seem possible."

Edward looked at me with eyes that would have made my heart jump out my chest if it still was capable of beating. "Bella, you are enough proof to show the world that miracles do happen."

I smiled. "Is it possible to feel human, yet be a vampire"? Edward looked at me with surprised eyes. "Of course. It happens all the time…I guess it is. It depends on the person. Why?"

I played with the zipper of his jacket. "I don't feel like a vampire any more. I feel human. I mean, like, I'm not the strongest person anymore-" I hesitated. " I don't think I have new born strength-I think it faded away…and yesterday, when we were looking for Renesmee, and I sensed that Peter was doing something, I tried my shield. But it didn't come. It's as if just left as quickly as it came to me." When I saw Edward's face I stopped and sighed.

"Please continue," he said, wiping a few strands of hair from my face.

I sighed, then continued. "And…. every time I see you, it seems like my heart jumps out of my chest, and starts beating again until its sound completely fills my ears."

Edward put his ear against my heart. I breathed slowly. He smiled. "I wonder why that is," he said puzzlingly.

I forced my eyes on him. "Edward, really?" He didn't respond, but left his ear on my chest. A few seconds later, Edward suddenly sat up. "What did you say about your shield?" He asked with eyes layered with worry and disbelief.

"I couldn't find it yesterday," I quietly replied. Edward shoke his head. "I knew it."

"Knew what?" I asked with worry. Edward glanced toward me. His eyes were filled with pain and self denial.

"It's him," Edward said as he reached for the phone in the front of the car.

"Who?" I said confusingly.

Edward shoke his head as if he was trying to remember something he just forgot. "Lucas…of the Volturi."

"Since when is there a Lucas in the Volturi? I don't know who you're talking about."

Edward shook his head as he dialed Alice's number. A few seconds later Alice answered.

"Hello?" Alice said anxiously as if she was waiting for this phone call to happen.

"Alice, it's Lucas. He's affected Bella too. He's done something, some kind of spell or chant, if that, to make Bella's gift uncapable to manage and control."

I could hear Alice's mad, high pitched voice on the other line. "Give me to Bella. She needs to tell me everything. Have you told Carlisle?"

"I think he figures that already."

"You can't be sure," Alice said annoyingly.

"Oh, whatever, Alice. Here's Bella," Edward said darkly. I took the phone and quickly put it to my ear.

"Hey Alice," I said, my voice shaking.

"Bella, listen, don't be scared. It's better now. We know who's doing this, and that will make it easier for us to catch him and treat this situation the right way. Now, I want you to tell me everything that has happened before and after you couldn't reach your shield."

I sighed. " In Rome, when I saw Peter with Renesmee, I don't know why, but, I sensed there was danger. I just have it worked up in me that when I sense some kind of danger my shield automatically activates. I knew she was in a serious situation, and so I knew my shield should be there. But, it wasn't. I tried to get it myself, but I couldn't find the power too. " I sighed and shook my head.

"Bella, we need you to continue. We have a minute amount of time."

"I didn't tell any of you because I felt that was the least of your worries. It was Renesmee we were anxiously worrying about, not me." I could hear Edwards frustrated exhale of breath next to me.

"Okay, Bella. Can you tell me what if felt like, to the best of your ability?" I closed my eyes as I tried to remember.

"I felt as if a part of myself was missing. I tried to find it, but found that it wasn't there. I checked the fartherst corners of my mind, but I couldn't find it. I didn't have the power to, it seemed. No matter how hard I tried, it was stronger."

"You mean "it" was stronger," Alice said confusingly.

"Yes," I said with relief. "Exactly. I felt like it was controlling me, yet I couldn't find it, if that makes any logical sense. I was uncapable of managing or escaping it."

"What do you mean, escaping it? Was it doing something to you? Controlling you?"

"Yes, it was taking over me, I mean, a film. It was like a film of this plasticy material was going over my eyes, my logic, and my conscious. It was hazy, that was all I could remember. I tried shaking my head as if I believed that the film would disappear with my sudden, jerky movements. But, it never bulged."

"I'm sorry Bella. And, after?" I looked at Edward.

"It just went away."

"You mean, the film disappeared?"

"Yes, and the shield."

Alice hesitated for about half a minute. "Thanks Bella, can you give me to Edward? I think he's right." My stomach started to turn.

I handed the phone to Edward with an outstretched arm. He quickly picked it up, and gracefully put it to his ear.

"Its Lucas. No doubt about it. That's his gift, managing and controlling other people's gifts, minds, body, and consciousness. " Edward closed his eyes as if that last drop of hope had faded out of sight.

"What are we going to do?" Edward asked slowly. Before Alice could answer, Carlisle spoke.

"We have to face him, once and for all." Edward's face suddenly darkened.

"We can't. I can't…" Edward hesitated.

" I know, I know," Carlisle said softly. "But, it's the only way, unless we give them what they want." My breathing suddenly sped up. Give them what they want? I shook my head. I knew what they wanted, and they were not any time soon going to get her.

"Someone's going to die," I whispered. Edward and Carlisle suddenly went silent as Alice's muffled yelling from the phone stopped.

Edward looked at me with pain. He curled his lip, a habit I was very found of.

" I won't let it happen." he assured.

I looked at Carlisle for reassurance, and he returned the glance with a face that was layered with doubt. The uneasy feeling in my stomach suddenly worsened.

"I don't know Bella," Carlisle said. Edward's face maddened.

"We do know, Carlisle! I'm not going to let anyone die! We're going to take care of this before it becomes lethal!"

My eyes would have filled with tears if they were capable of making them. I didn't know who or what to believe. I knew that a situation dealing with the Volturi or any other jealous vampires would immediately became lethal as quickly as the situation had formed, yet I couldn't make myself believe that at the end of the day, we'd be welcomed back home with as many people as we anxiously embarked with.

"Edward, we don't know what to expect." Carlisle said. Edward hesitated, but in the end didn't respond. Carlisle continued. "No one I know of has ever met or has been in their presence. Many believe that Lucas and the Volturi are just a made up story or myth."

Alice suddenly spoke up. "Isn't there a prophecy?" her voice sweetly ejaculated through the tiny speakers of the cell phone.

"Yes, Alice, there is. But what would that have to do with the second Volturi?" Alice didn't respond, yet instead she let Carlisle comprehend what the prophecy and the second volturi had in common. A few seconds later, Carlisle and Edward at the same time made the connection. Of course, I was still trying to comprehend the fact that there was a vampire prophecy.

"Of course," Edward said slowly.

"Yes," Alice said. " We have that part down."

"What part down?" I asked. Edward quickly glanced over at me. "The fact that they are in the prophecy. "

"What's the prophecy, and if it's so important, why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked angerily.

"Bella, we were protecting you." Alice said.

"Protecting me from what?" I snapped back. "Reality?"

"No Bella, no," Alice and Edward said together.

"Then what?" I looked at the phone with flaming hatred.

Edward shook his head. "From the impossible." I looked away, and everyone went silent. The impossible? I knew what that meant in the literal sense, I just didn't know what it meant in the figurative.

A couple of minutes later, I broke the hot and painful silence. "When were you planning to tell me?" I asked looking out the window shield. The house was just around the corner. Carlisle made a sharp left and I jumped when water splashed up the side of the car.

"When we thought you could handle it," Edward answered. I shoke my head and turned to face him.

" You thought I couldn't manage it?" I looked at Edward with eyes of betrayal. "For God's sake, look what I've been through the last few years, and you really think that I'm not ready to understand, comprehend, or handle anything of that sort?"

"No, Bella." Edward sighed. "When you first became a vampire, we vowed that we would tell you all about the mythlogical part of our world once you grew out of the new born stage. And, when we discovered that you weren't like the typical new born, I so wanted to tell you. But, I was afraid it would scare you. Afraid it would hurt you." Edward looked down.

Before anyone could respond Carlisle drove into the garage. I quickly got out of the car, and slammed the door shut a little too hard. I didn't need to look back to know that Alice, Carlisle, and Edward were silently whispering to each other as I headed into the house.

I trudged through the door and to my relief found Renesmee and Jacob on the couch. Renesmee was asleep on Jacob's broad chest.

I smiled and headed over to where Jacob and Renesmee were sitting. I sat down next to Renesmee, and pulled her feet onto my lap.

"Hey," I said looking at Renesmee's feet. Didn't they just fit into the palms of my hands a day ago?

Jacob looked at me. "Hi, Bella. I'm sorry," he whispered. " I was being childish and stupid. I promise. I will never do it again."

"It's okay Jacob," I sighed. Technically, under my rules, it was far from okay, but, at this point, getting mad would just worsen and broaden the situation.

"So, how are you. Managing the suspense?" I asked hoping to spark a conversation that would lead eventually into what I wanted to so urgently tell him.

Jacob looked at me with disbelief. "Bella, are you serious. I don't think I'll ever be able to feel fine again." He smiled.

"And how 'bout you. Are you okay?," he asked teasingly.

"You think?" I replied quickly, smiling.. Around Jacob, it was so easy to forget the previous troubles and enable yourself to enjoy a joke, no matter how stupid or awkward it felt in the midst of this situation.

"How did she handle the drive," I asked. Jacob frowned.

"She was okay, but she couldn't stand to look at light. She would flinch and close her eyes whenever we passed a car or a traffic light. Then, after she closed her eyes for some time and didn't wake up, I was worried and gently shook her. I continued to, and when I found that she still wasn't responding, I was about to pick up a phone and call, and that's when she woke up. It was literally a ride through hell."

I nodded monochromatically.

Jacob looked down at Renesmee sweetly for a few seconds before he spoke again. " I really don' t want her to die," he said softly, wiping a few escaped strands of hair off her face.

" I don't want to lose you again," he whispered softly into her ear. Pain shot through my chest, opening the whole inside of me. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, as if I really believed that would ease the pain.

Jacob rested the top of his head on Renesmee's cheek. "Should I bring her to bed?" he asked softly making sure he wouldn't wake Renesmee.

I pretended to just be waken out of my thoughs. "Oh," I nodded. "Yah, but wait." I need to discuss something with you."

Jacob looked at me teasingly. "Doing this on purpose, aren't you?" he smiled. I loved when his russet colored cheeks lifted up in a grin. I loved them even more as they pressed against my daughter's pale face.

"Pretty, much. Yah." I smiled. "But, I really do need to talk with you. Discuss some things. Like tomorrow, and the years that follow."

Jacob said nothing, but I could see the plead in his eyes asking me if I really needed to tell him this now.

Jacob nodded his head urging me to start.

"Well," I sighed. "I wanted to discuss this with Edward and Renesmee, but I thought I should just give you a head-ups on what's to come." Jacob smiled.

"You know Edward's going to be mad at you." I said. Jacob rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Yes, I'm positive about that. I might have to disappear into the forest for a few days until his hot temper cools down." This time, I rolled my eyes.

"You know that would disappoint Renesmee, though. On her sixteenth birthday, possibly the most important birthday in her existence, if she finds out you're not there, we would have to stop the party."

Jacob smiled and nodded in apprehension. "Just joking."

"I thought so," I said sternly. Before I could continue Alice walked through the door, and walked up to her room. We didn't continue until we heard the door of her room silently shut.

"That was her birthday present, you know," Jacob said softly. "The trip." I looked at him with sympathy.

"I know," I said as I gently rubbed Renesmee's ankle. "You don't need to get her anything else. She'll understand."

"I already have something for her. I made it." He pulled out a box elaborately decorated with pink, white and black beads. I smiled when I realized he made it.

"That's beautiful," I cooned as I leaned over to see it more clearly.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Not the box, it's what's inside." I quietly chuckled.

"Oh." I took the box out of his large hands and realized they were lined with blisters. I shuddered.

"Jacob, what happened?"

Jacob looked at the present, and then his hands. "Oh," he said this time. "I didn't know that I had that. But, I must have tripped and fallen on some hot concrete when I was looking for Renesmee before you came. I didn't know it was that bad."

The blisters on his hands were pink and hot as I gently laid my hand on them. Something was wrong. They should've healed.

"Jacob, how long ago did this happen?" I gently put the box down on the side table on my left side.

He hesitated as he thought. "About seventeen hours ago. Why?"

"They should have healed." I gently pushed over Renesmee's feet onto the couch, and sat up. I headed up to Carlisle's office where I knew the rest of the Cullens would have been.

"Edward, " I said as I pushed open the door. "He's done it to Jacob too." They did not respond in words, but instead in actions. The Cullens quickly shuffled out of the room and down the long flight of stairs to the dimly lit living room.

Carlisle gently grabbed Jacob's hands, and led him to the kitchen. It was as if I was playing my birthday all over again.

Carlisle grabbed some disinfectent and a couple of bandages out of the cupboard nearest the "for looks" refrigerator.

He immediately started cleaning Jacob's hands before anyone of us spoke. I shuddered when I saw Carlisle cutting a blister off Jacob's hands for tests. I watched Jacob frown and grimace and I did the same when I realized I was the reason he was in pain. I never was going to stop. At times like these, I wondered why Jacob loved me, and why he continued to stay by my family. No matter how many times I hurt him, he came back, as willingly as he came before I inflicted so much pain on him.

Carlisle placed the blister on a napkin, and folded it so it resembled a square. He quickly put it into a plastic bag, and then put that bag into his pocket.

Jacob hopped off the counter.

"Do you feel sick?" Carlisle asked breaking the silence. Jacob took his eyes off the refrigerator posted with pictures of Renesmee and him and put them on Carlisle's anxious face.

"If you are asking am I hurting, I would have to say yes." Carlisle nodded.

"Don't you have any of that friggin morphine stuff," Jacob asked. We would have to use morphine instead of a numbing medicine because of how weak it was.

Carlisle walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a syringe and a bottle of what I suspected was morphine.

Jacob flinched when he saw the size of the needle. Carlisle laughed to himself when he saw Jacob's reaction.

"Now, give me your hand." Jacob obeyed hesitatingly. Carlisle gently put his fingers on Jacob's arm, looking for a visible vein. He quickly stuck the needle into Jacob's left arm, right under the palm of his hand. Jacob jumped a little, but then calmed down when the pain started to lighten.

"Hurt now, dog?" Rosalie asked teasingly. Jacob gave her annoyed glance. "I'll show you what hurt feels like." Jacob leaned into her, then stopped.

"Wait, you're not worth it." Rosalie stuck her tongue out at him. Jacob smiled.

"Carlisle, what are we going to do," Rosalie said sweetly a few minutes later.

"Well, we're going to research them," Carlise said as he put away his things and threw away the bloody napkins.

"Research who?" Emmett replied.

"The second Volturi. And the prophecy."

"Wait, who the hell is the second Volturi." Emmett replied.

"They might be the prophecy." Carlisle said as Esme handed him the bleach. He started to wipe the counter clean of any trace of blood.

"Oh, that," Emmett said.

"Edward, Alice and I are going to be tracing down any information that would be of some importance to us tonight in hope that by the morning and Renesmee's sixteenth birthday we will know more about them. Or at least their real name."

"Real name?" I asked confusingly. Carlisle looked at me.

" Yes, Bella. "Second Volturi" is just referring to them, that's not their real name." I nodded in apprehension.

"What if it's too late," I said quietly. It was still loud enough for everyone to flich.

" We wont' be," Carlisle said, effectively ending that conversation.

A few seconds later, a quiet voice whispered behind me. "It's Lucas." We all turned around in unison. It was Renesmee. I frowned when I realized she had heard a heck of a lot more than I wanted her to hear.

"How much did you hear," I asked Renesmee. Her hair was messy from sleeping on her side.

"All of it. I came in when I heard you and Jacob get up from the couch." I nodded.

"You don't need to be afraid." Edward said softly.

"It's a little too late for that," Renesmee replied with a closed throat. "Lucas has hurt Jacob too. His healing powers. They aren't there anymore." She stopped and looked to the ground. "Soon, we will be powerless."

Edward squinted his eyes in pain and frustration. "Carlisle, she's right. We need to hurry."

Carlisle nodded. "You take Bella, Renesmee, and Jacob to the cottage. I'll call you when it's safe for you to return."

Edward grabbed Renesmee and I by the arm as Jacob followed us to the door.

"Call me when you find anything," Edward called over his shoulder. "I'll be doing the same."

We quickly marched out of the bright house into the intense darkness as reality hit. I felt as I parent who's child had a seriousness illness that had no cure. Not a pleasant feeling. It felt as if my insides were pulling two different ways, one of them never surrendering to the other side. We were searching for something that we weren't sure existed. Sure, we had blind faith. But we had hope.


	14. Goodbye My Little LocNess Monster

the cottage was dark as we entered. It seemed like it had

Been an eternity since we had stepped over its threshold. I breathed in the cold, yet familiar air. It was times like these when we returned from a long trip when I really realized how important and comfortable our home was. How nice it was to enter through its door and suddenly feel safe and secure from the outside world and its unknowns. But, this time, it was different. Mystery and worry hung in the cold, drafty air, a constant reminder of what may to come. There was nothing protecting us from _them. _ I refused to think their name.

I was brought out of my reverie as Renesmee said goodnight.

I followed her to her room to tuck her in, an act I refused to give up or stop over the years that followed her infancy. It was our special time. When she was younger, I would read to her until she was the one holding the book herself. Then, when she was about two, she would tell me about her adventures at night, and the people's thoughts she had read. Her eyes were always wide with excitement and joy when she told me something that I had no capable way of knowing. From that time on, she would tell me stories and poems she had made up, all of them having the same yet all unique meaning in this kind of magical way. There was no words to explain how she expressed her thoughts and views of the world. Though everyone had a different point of view, humans' views were quite similar. The same with vampires. Yet, hers, it was different from both. I figured that was because she was stuck in the middle of humanity and the mythical world. I can't fathom how she feels. Being half of something. It must feel unreal.

When I first had her, for a time I wished she was one thing. Vampire, human, werewolf, I didn't care. I felt like she was getting the short end of the stick.. Like all mothers, I wanted the best for her. Yet, I was glad she was one of us, and accepted her for who she was. She accepts the mythical world so easily because she was born straight into it. In all her life, she has never doubted the existence of anything that mere humans didn't. She believes everything, and that's the one thing I'm afraid of. She is so easily led astray, and that's hurting her. My body fires with pain every time I realize I can't protect her from the world anymore. She's growing up, and I can't keep her under my wing. She's ready to fly. Fly into the world I hope from the bottom of my heart I have completely prepared her for. I'm so thankful I have Jacob. So thankful _she _has Jacob. He's my sun, yet her cloud from harm and the world that wants so urgently to swallow her.

I turned to Jacob and gazed at him with admiration. As I looked at the plains of his face, his lips pressed together into that smile he was so infamous for. I smiled back.

We headed into her room, and Renesmee plopped onto her bed as she did every night, causing the head board to hit the wall swiftly a couple of times. There was no reason to scold her for it. I expected it, for it was apart of the ritual. Without it, everything would seem out of place. Like my life did right now. How ironic.

Jacob gently sat down on the edge of the bed by her feet. He took her small hand in his large one, the one that was not bandaged, just like he had done every night consecutively for the last fifteen years.

She fixed her pillow and then laid down. I realized her feet almost touched the other end of the headboard as I plopped on next to her. That was when reality hit. My little nudger was growing up.

I tucked her in, and she repositioned her self for half a minute before she was comfortable.

"I can't believe you're turning fifteen tomorrow," Jacob said softly as he reached over to the lamp switch. I saw the other meaning beneath these words. He was glad she was an adult so they could join. But I wasn't sure if I was ready to let go of her yet.

Renesmee looked at the ceiling and sighed heavily as the lights switched off. "I can't believe it either." Jacob and I looked at each other.

"It's unreal. I don't think I'm ready for it." she added. I raised my eyebrows. Obviously, she felt the same way I did.

"Well, it's coming if you like it or not," Jacob said. His tone lightened up. "I'm actually glad. I'm tired of being a teenager." He grinned, and Renesmee laughed. I smiled with them.

That was when the touchy subject of immorality took place. Great.

"Mommy," Renesmee said still staring at the ceiling.

I looked at her with worry. "Yes?" She took her eyes off the ceiling and put them on my face. Her eyes were layered with worry and anxiety. But I could see a tint of hope and excitement somewhere deep in there.

"Do I have to stay fifteen forever?" she said, knocking the air out of me. My mind was blank. An empty slate. My insides were gnawing at each other, in an unbelievably painful way. I knew this would happen eventually. She wouldn't want this. I knew it. And why would I have the one to tell her?

I looked down. "I think so," I said sourly. I couldn't erase all hope from her life. If I did, mine would disappear with it.

She laid her head back on the pillow and frowned. "Because Jakey doesn't have to." The humor from the fact that she still called Jacob, "Jakey" was completely consumed by the fact that Jacob would continue living and aging while Renesmee wouldn't.

"Renesmee," I said softly, wiping a strand of hair from her face. "Don't worry about that. Everything will work out." She frowned at my failed attempt to consul her.

"But I want to be like you and dad," she smiled warmly. "Stuck together forever." I smiled fakely. I wish I could give her the certainty of eternal love, and it wasn't fair that I was the only one who was so lucky to get it.

"Renesmee, don't worry about tomorrow. I'm here, and that's all that will ever matter." Jacob gently touched his palm to her cheek.

She closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "You're right. But I'm worried. You've been hiding all this Volturi stuff from me, and I don't know what to think of it. All I know is that I'm the target, and that isn't a comforting prospect when you don't even know who your catchers are." she crossed her hands over her chest in that stubborn way like her father.. "It's maddening."

"Renesmee, you know the only reason we don't tell you is to _protect_ you," I crooned. " Your father hasn't told me all that much either. I know very vaguely about the ruling side of our world."

She pondered over this for a few seconds. "Okay, you want to protect me," she pointed out as she rolled her eyes like Edward. "From what?" She looked at me seriously, expecting a good answer. I sighed. That was the exact same thing I was trying to figure out myself.

"I already have dozens of ravenous vampires stalking me, pleading for my gifts and blood. What more is there to protect me from?"

"What more is there to be afraid of." she continued to herself. I sighed, and didn't answer.

I took her head gently in my hands. I could see the wet mascara on her face. She was crying. I gently let go of her and placed my arms arm at my side. And it was because of me. I closed my eyes, and let the fresh wave of pain gnaw at my cold heart. I hurt her.

Never in my entire existence, have I ever hurt my daughter to the point where there was lines of wet mascara trailing down her face and onto her arms. Yes, she was a teenager, a rather moody and emotional one indeed, but there never was a point where I was the source of the tears. I put my head in my hands, and forced my self to speak, but the words came out only in a tiny whisper. What would I do next?

But, somewhere, in the deep center core of the very essence of my being, was a voice, telling me to go on, and tell her the truth that could possibly destroy her.

"Renesmee, precious, listen. There is no reason to be afraid. We are here, and we won't let them touch you." I stopped and took a short breath. "Even if that means," I swallowed.

"Means what?" Her eyes were wide with astonishment as she understood. She sat up. "No!" She looked at us pleadingly for a few seconds. "You can't. I won't let you! Why would you?" She put her hands up to her face to wipe an escaped tear away. "No," she whispered. Jacob saw her distress and took her in his arms. She put her face on his shoulder.

"You can't," she muffled a minute later on Jacob's grey t-shirt. "Please, don't. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Don't!" I looked at her helplessly. I would be reacting in the same way if Edward told me he would go off on himself for me so I could live. It really wouldn't have been worth it if he did because I couldn't live with myself if it really amounted to that. So, I didn't argue with her. Instead, I rubbed her back slowly, rhythmically, like I did when she was just a baby.

"Oh, Renesmee," I whispered quietly every so often. So, we stayed like that. Enclosed in a circle, hugging each other, comforting each other. Renesmee was in the middle, Jacob and I were on her side. We were protecting her, we were her guardian angels.

A few minutes later, Renesmee stopped crying, and looked up. Her eyelashes were soaked with tears. "I'm sorry," she said, clearing her throat. "It was very inconsiderate of me."

"No, no, that was fine," Jacob and I both said at that same time. "That was to be expected." She shoke her head in protest.

"And since when do you say 'inconsiderate'." Jacob asked as he tickled her. She didn't respond or laugh at all, but looked at him like he was crazy.

"And since when do you buy expensive, diamond jewelry." She threw back at him sharply. She smiled as Jacob's eyes popped.

"Damn, did I really leave that out," he said quietly, intending for only his ears to hear. But he knew better, in this house there was no point in whispering.

Renesmee giggled and smiled. "Right on the table." Jacob shoke his head and smiled.

"You need to stop being so observant." he said sarcastically. She leaned into him gently. Her breath tickled Jacob's clean shaven face. Jacob closed his eyes.

"Too late." She pressed her lips to his softly. His arms wound around her torso, holding her close. Nothing could separate them. Not even time. This moment was so sweet, so perfect, it was hard to imagine it took place in a darker time. It was as if for those few moments, even time itself was broken.

Jacob gently pushed Renesmee away to stop her from getting too far. Renesmee smiled and let go. She closed her eyes, and hugged Jacob.

"I love you," she said in his arms. She looked up into his eyes. He stared back, adoringly, his eyes warm, yet soft. "More than my own life," she added.

He smiled gently. "I love you too," he said as he gently poked her nose. "Even more than you love me."

She snorted and rolled her eyes. "No, I definitely love you more." She leaned in for a kiss, but Jacob teasingly pushed her back. He leaned over her, and whispered, "Remember, your mother's here. And your father's probably reading my thoughts right now. He's literally ready to stampede through the door." she smiled.

"Can't I have a birthday kiss, though? After all, it's my birthday tomorrow," she said innocently. Jacob smiled and leaned in. He pressed his lips to hers softly, once, twice, another time. I coughed fakely.

Jacob looked up annoyed.

"She needs the sleep. Big day tomorrow." I said.

Jacob rolled his eyes and got off the bed. He kissed Renesmee's hand softly, and walked to the door where he waited for me.

"Goodnight, Renesmee," I said quietly. I heard the ruffling of sheets as she repositioned herself.

"Goodnight, mom." she said plainly. Then her tone brightened. "Goodnight, Jacob," she added. I smiled as I saw a flash of light reflected off something in her hand. A flashlight.

"No reading tonight," I reminded her. She quickly hid the flashlight under her pillow. "Or wandering in the woods," I added as I remembered what Alice had seen a week ago. Renesmee alone, in her pajamas. I looked at her sternly, so she would get the point.

"Okay, mom, okay." She turned over to her side, and hugged the pillow.

"I love you, "I said before I closed the door. Renesmee looked at the ceiling, already submerged in thought.

"I love you too." she replied.

"Sleep tight, don't let the werewolves bite!" I added. She quietly laughed and looked at Jacob. I could only imagine the disgust on Jacob's face. I closed the door. I always left a little crack so if she was reading I could see the light streaming through the door. Jacob looked at me.

" You seriously need to change that."

"Change what?" I said innocently. He looked at me annoyingly.

"Don't let the werewolves bite?" he smiled. "What the hell is that?"

I flinched. "She made that up when she was a little girl. I wasn't going to change it now."

He shoke his head and laughed. He put his arm around my shoulder. "Oh Bells."

I looked at him happily. "What? Bring back memories?"

"No, I was thinking about the things you make up. Always so creative," he said as he poked my nose. I laughed.

"And, oh Jacob." I replied. Two could play at the game.

"What?" he said through a wide mouthed grin. He tightened his arm around me.

"Always so strong," I said, acknowledging the previous move. He looked at me with humorous disbelief.

"That's the best you got, Bella?" He looked at me like I was crazy.

"No. I can do better." I said smugly.

"Well show me!"

I smiled largely. I couldn't wait to see his reaction. I took a deep breath before I continued. "Jacob, always so "motherly." Jacob raised his eyebrows in surprise as I tried to suppress a laugh.

"Motherly? Huh." he looked at the ground. "What makes you say that?"

"The way you take care of Renesmee, as if she was still a baby." I said, expecting a laugh. But, there was none.

"Are you worried, Jacob?" I asked, after looking at the sudden sunken features of his face. The mood suddenly darkened.

He looked at me. "Yes," he said simply. He put his eyes to the ground. "She's growing up. My little Lock Ness monster isn't little anymore." he added. I looked at the ground.

"You know, I'm worried about her outliving me." he added. "I'm worried about how she will manage when I'm gone." I looked up at him. His eyes were truly, and deeply, filled with pain and worry.

"Is there anyway I can become immortal?" he asked softly. I hesitated to answer. I wasn't sure.

"I want to be able to live for her. To be by her side, always. I don't want to have to leave her here, alone. I'm afraid of how much it will destroy her." I closed my eyes in reaction to what he said. Take my life as an example. When Edward left, Jacob first handedly witnessed what it did to me. How much it tore my life apart, and scattered my heart in pieces. How hard it was to survive, and how I had to physically hold myself together to get through moments when the pain was the strongest. The memory brought back pain that stabbed at my heart intensely. I had to wrap my hands around my torso just to ease it. Jacob looked at me with worry, proving his point. .

"I'll be turning in my grave if that's how Renesmee is living." he said, looking at my enclosed arms. I tore my hands from my torso, putting them at my side.

"Everyone's different, Jacob," I pointed out. "She's better than me. She'll be able to handle it. She's stronger." I had to physically force myself to believe this. I was positive that she would be the same as me. Jacob was her life, and when you lost your life, what was there to live for? When you lost the one you loved, you couldn't make out day from night. Her world would be an endless pit, always inescapable. It would only be a matter of time before she just gave up. Like I almost did. I shivered.

Jacob looked at me unceasingly. " Bella, she's no different." he said deeply. "Do you see how she acts, how stubborn she is. Do you know that every time I look at her, every time I see the sun shine on her face, every time she wraps her tiny arms around my waist, my heart beats twice as fast. Twice as fast because I see _you. _If I lose her, I lose _you."_

I looked at Jacob, and put my arm around his waist and leaned into him.

"Jacob, I don't know how she'll be when…..," I had to swallow to continue, "when your gone. I don't know if I could survive." Jacob put his arm around my shoulders, and warmly smiled.

For a few seconds he was silent, and then I could hear the sound of something wet dropping through the air. I looked at Jacob, and realized he was crying. Truly crying.

For a few seconds, I honestly did not know what to do. Never in my whole entire life or existence had I ever seen him shed a tear, except in the gloomy streets of Rome. And now, since they were streaming down like the floodgates of heaven I was clueless on what to do next.

I wrapped my arm around his waist harder, and put his head on my shoulder. Then I brought him over to the couch. He lay his head in my arms.

"Jacob," I crooned. I wiped the tears from his face. His russet colored skin did weird things to the tears, they reflected them. "There's still a chance," I said softly, almost to myself. "There's always a chance."

I had to wonder at times like these, why life took you by the reigns, and brought you back to reality, after having a taste at a better life. A life none of us are so fortunate to have. Because no matter how much Mother Luck throws your way, there's always something to grab it back up again, and tell you, "Oh no, Bella's actually enjoying her existence. We gotta take it from her again." But there is a point in your life when you are capable of withstanding all the forces of reality and welcome back into your arms the forces of a life we all want to have, but just have to find. Sometimes, the toll for this life is another, but were are so focused on the target, that our eyes aren't on the oncoming arrow.

* * *

Thanks to all of my reviewers! = ) It truly means the world to me when I see a new review pop up. I hope you all are enjoying the story so far; I hope it isn't boring you to the point of insanity. Yes, some chapters are slow, but they are the building blocks to the more exciting ones. Sorry haven't been updating recently: almost the end of the school year, hence, more tests and FINALS. Also my 13th birthday last weekend, so that took up a lot of the week. Thanks again for understanding, Breanna.

**My playlist:**

Leona Lewis: Happy and Run

Snow Patrol: Chasing Cars and Set the Fire to the Third Bar


	15. The Second Volturi

I forced Jacob off the couch and led him to the research room in our cottage, where Edward was seated. He started to absentmindedly shake the mouse to wake up the computer.

Edward turned around and looked at Jacob and I- what a sight we must have been. "What's wrong?" Edward asked with worry. I walked forward a little.

"We were just thinking." I answered him. "Deeply thinking together." Edward sensed the secrecy that I wanted the past minutes to hold, and he didn't question me further. Instead he patted the seats next to him and we sat down.

"What will the computer give us that we can use?" I asked confusingly, as I noticed my surroundings and Edward's grasp on the mouse. Edward answered without looking at me.

"You'd be surprised at the legends and stories people put up on the internet. They might give us clues or little bits of information that we can put together." I nodded in apprehension.

Edward quickly typed in "Volturi" in the Google search box. I was surprised when I saw there was hundred of links connected with the Volturi. My stomach started to spin when I realized more people then necessary knew about them.

"Wow," he replied as he looked at how many links there were. "I didn't know there were that much." Obviously, he was thinking the same thing. He skipped the links that said "Volturi Reality" or "Volturi Cuisine." He clicked on one that looked promising.

"Here it is," he said with relief.

"What did you find?" I asked leaning over his shoulder to get a better look. He scrolled down.

"Their official site," he said pointing at the address. I looked at him confusingly.

"The Volturi have an official site?" I asked. Edward smiled.

"Techinically, yes. But, they made a site where all vampires like us can connect and know the latest rules and regulations. I'm surprised it was so easy to find on here." He shoke his head. "It shouldn't be that open to the public."

"It's probably a fake," Jacob said to me a few seconds later. I wasn't sure. Edward quickly read the site and gathered enough information to prove Jacob's theory. It was only the information and touring information about Volterra. Figures.

Edward left the computer idle and headed over to the book case. He reached for a very old, stained book on the top shelf. I saw the title. "Volturi." _Okay, _I thought to myself. _They have a book too. Why don't I know these things?_

He walked over to me, his eyes glued on the book. He read for a few minutes before he shut the computer off with a quick push of the button.

"This is what everyone has been looking for," Edward said to me as he raised the book in mid air. "This is why everyone wants Renesmee." I quickly stood up when I heard her name.

"Why do they want her?" Jacob asked with worry. As he said this, we heard a big boom; a sound impossible for the human ear to hear. We all turned around at the same time.

"It's probably Renesmee," Edward whispered under his breath. "The day is never long enough for her." And I left it at that, for Renesmee always stayed up later then she was supposed to.

"She's apart of the prophecy. Of course." He continued, as he pointed to the book. "This explains it all." He picked the phone out of his pocket and dialed Carlisle's number.

"Edward," Carlisle said with relief.

"I found it. Come over here. It's the prophecy after all. But it goes deeper then that." Edward replied.

Carlisle sighed. "I'll be right over." Jacob grabbed the book.

"Careful," I said softly. All I needed was him to rip up the key to this whole situation.

"It's in latin," Jacob said confusingly. "I can't understand any of it."

"Thank God, I can," Renesmee said, leaning on the door to her room. We all turned around. She nodded in a matter of fact way. "Remember, that's what I took for my second year foreign language." Renesmee walked over here. None of us spoke. "They thought Latin was a foreign language," she said, in an disgusted tone. "At least that year I learned something."

Renesmee, like her father, had the uncanny ability of being a know it all, and like her father, she was damn well good at showing it. Though most of her nights were spent sleeping- or so we thought- she took in an multitudinous amount of information from what each day held. The first few years of school, the teachers played along with her as her hand kept flying into the air seconds before the questions were asked. They excused it as a "phase." In third grade, however, it was considered obsessively repetive and rude. We talked to her and told her to wait till the question was actually asked until she put her hand in the air. She tried, as she told me, but couldn't stop. She was now on each teacher's "Suspicious List." In eighth grade, when she was doing tenth grade level work in all subjects, and not acing, but perfecting, each and every assignment, quiz, test, or paper, the teachers had enough. They thought she was cheating. Figures. What's with adults not dealing with intelligence of a child, far more superior than theirs? In response, Renesmee was taken out of school, but not without a fight.

Renesmee grabbed the book out of Jacob's hands and started to flip through some pages. By the look of her face I knew a phrase had probably just jumped out at her. She pointed to a sentence. _Amor Vincit Omnia._

"That-" Renesmee said, but was cut off by Edward.

"Means love conquers all." he said with certainty yet puzzlement. Renesmee nodded.

Edward sat down on the nearest love seat. "I can't believe we had this all along. I knew we had it, but I never thought we would need it." Edward rubbed his hand gently over the brownish red cover, tracing the green and red elaborately decorated spine. He handled it like it was a valuable ancient artifact, lost after thousands of years of God knows what.

"Where did you get it?" Jacob asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

"We inherited it," Edward answered, distracted. He shoke his head as if he were trying to remember an important fact. "Carlisle inherited it, when he was still working with the Volturi. Everyone there has one."

"Wouldn't you expect all vampires to have one?" Jacob asked. He pointed his chin towards the book. "It looks pretty important, you know, with your kind of vampire stuff." He shoke his head. " Myths, stories, legends of your culture not open to the public? That doesn't sound right. It must hold something indefinetly more precious."

"It does," Edward said quietly, still captivated with the book's cover. "It's a prophecy. The Volturi figure that if they gave every vampire in existence these books, our secret would get it, and the prophecy would no longer be sacred, or at least that's what they think." Edward opened the book to the first page where the publishers' and author's notes would be.

"But, this wasn't written by the Volturi, or at least the one we know of. This isn't their sign." Edward pointed to an elaborate and beautiful piece of artwork carefully stamped on the book's front page.

"The Volturi don't have a banner over their tree. This one does." He looked closer, and suddenly backed up.

"What is it?" I asked anxiously. He couldn't answer, but instead pointed to the banner. It looked as if it was blowing gently in the wind. _Amor Vincit Omnia, _it stated_._

I gave out a breath. "Love conquers all?" It sounded cliché as if it belonged it some tragic and adventurous love story. I refused to think why that was ironic.

At that moment Carlisle and Alice barged through the stained glass door, heading over to the couch.

"Where is it?" Carlisle asked quickly and breathlessly. Edward didn't need to answer. Carlisle headed over to the couch.

Edward handed it over to Carlisle. Carlisle smiled.

"This, you found it." Carlisle looked at Edward with admiration.

"It wasn't hard to find," Edward said.

Carlisle opened to the first page. His eyes squinted in confusion at the sight of the signa. Edward answered his quiet question.

"It's not the Volturi's. I have a feeling that it's the Second Volturi's." Carlisle kept his eyes glued on the book and traced the beautifully stamped signa.

"I kind of figured that. I always knew that the Volturi didn't write this book, though they'd stress continuously and obsessively of how they did when I was still with them." Carlisle turned the page. "Obviously they wanted to take the credit for this."

"The banner says, love conquers all." Edward said quietly acknowledging the sign. I turned my head and smiled at Renesmee. Carlisle turned back a page to see it himself.

"Oh, yes, it does," he said in wonder and awe after eying it. "That's the Second Volturi's motto. It's what they believe in." He skimmed through the pages, breathlessly and with ease, never ripping or denting the pages. His even breath stopped when he peered down at a brownish folded piece of paper tightly stuck in between the creases of two very old pages. We all leaned in.

Alice gently picked it up, unsure if she unfolded it too quickly it would break into a million tiny pieces. Alice handed it over to Carlisle once it was cautiously unfolded.

"It's a map," Carlisle said with wonder after eying it for a few seconds. Edward squinted his eyes in confusion as he leaned in to get a better view.

Carlisle gently traced the indentations and the faded colors of the elaborately decorated map. His face turned from deep confusion into mere awe.

Carlisle didn't say anything. By the look on his face, I knew we had just found something very important. I took a look around the lightly dimmed room. Renesmee had her arms around Jacob's neck enabling her to see the colorful map. Jacob was leaning forward, his knees gently pressing against Alice's short but slender legs.

A minute later, Carlisle suddenly broke the dark silence. "I can't believe this," Carlisle managed to say with a wide smile. He pointed to the title. "If this is what I'm thinking it is, then the Second Volturi are located in the heart of Rome."

"I thought this was just some fake superstition crap," Jacob said. I smiled.

"Obviously it isn't," Edward replied. "This explains why Peter was in Rome." I looked at the floor, confusion layered in my eyes.

"What do you mean, 'Peter was in Rome.' Are you saying he's apart of the Volturi too?" I said my voice layered with anxiety. I looked at Alice knowing she would be the one to answer. She knew more about him than all of us together.

"Probably apart of the Volturi. Something like that. Jasper told me that Peter was often visited by the Volturi, not for the reasons you would think of. It was safe to say based on those visits that the Volturi and him were very close."

I thought about that. Visited by the Volturi? Why in the world would the Volturi take time just to visit him? I could think of only one reason. They knew about Peter. More than they should. They knew he had strong relations with Jasper, and that was a direct hit line to me. I suddenly felt dizzy.

Or he was forced into it. _**Join or die. **_The Volturi's words echoed loudly in my head. Of course. Peter was helping the Volturi reach me to save himself. The question was, how long had this been going on? I carefully considered Alice's use of _was_ and _were. _ I recalled what Jasper said just a couple of years ago before I made my fateful decision. He said that he met them in the civil war….the 1850's. But weren't they friends after that? I supposed they were….but then he left, and Alice met up with him.

A hundred years felt like a long time for them to be tracking me. The fact that out of those 100 years, I only existed for 20 of them frightened me and messed with my mind even more. My mind was filled with hows, whys, and whens.

"Bella?" Edward said urgently his smooth hand on my unusually cold cheek. My eyes snapped open. "What's wrong?"

I looked at him warily. "I'm the fulfillment." I said slowly, knowing all it took was a couple of words to explain a thousand. "Not Renesmee."

Edward closed his eyes as apprehension settled in. Carlisle stared at me blankly.

"Why do you figure that?" Jacob whispered in silent agony. Direct Interpertation: _Why you?_

I sighed. "Alice said Peter and the Volturi were very close, in a different way. Why in the world would the Volturi take time to visit him if he wasn't doing anything dangerous or out of the line? They had to be planning, something, and either he was forced into it, or he willingly accepted the task."

"Join or die," Edward said with a melancholy voice as he stared at the floor. I nodded slowly.

"And the task was only possible if the Volturi bestowed it upon someone who knew one of us. Someone who they knew or would have contact with _me_." Edward's eyes flashed up at me protectively, as a growl rose in his throat.

".I already told them I would change her, why do they need her furthermore?"

" The Volturi don't want her," Carlisle answered. simply "The others do."

Edward stared at me deeply in thought. "But how do we stop them? We alone do not know where they live."

"About that," Carlisle said as he picked up the map and unfolded it. I leaned over to get a better look.

"You had this all along," Edward said sharply, under his breath. "And you never once showed it to me."

" I felt no need to," Carlisle replied back. "You had enough on your mind, I wasn't going to give you another reason to deny yourself." We all turned to Edward.

"Knowledge of evil is not always to be denied," he replied back. Carlisle shook his head and handed the map over to Edward.

"This is the reason why I did not tell you." Carlisle pointed to the exact center of the map, where the rest of the map faded until the absence of the ink formed a circle.

"I don't see anything," Jacob said. I gently trached the circle in response. As I lightly skimmed my fingers over the aged old paper, to my astonishment, letters started to appear.

"Okay, now it's an Ouija Board." Jacob replied. Renesmee smirked.

"No, no," Carlisle said sternly, but in fascination. He leaned in. "Bella, keep doing that." I did what he said, but sped up my pace.

"Amazing," Jacob said, sarcastically. He started to get up. "I saw this in National Treasure one time. You want me to get the lime? I think I know where the q-tips are. " Edward looked at Jacob sharply, as Renesmee slapped Jake's arm.

"This isn't a time to be joking around," Carlisle said, very sternly. I continued to trace my fingers across the paper until the appearances started to cease.

"What is this?" I asked Carlisle as I handed him over the paper. Carlisle ran to the book case and scanned the titles, looking for a book that he knew wouldn't be there. We all watched in amazement as he gently threw each old book onto the floor. _Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. _Jacob walked over the pile of books ever growing and scanned through one that said, _Vampires and Sexuality: The Lives of the "Active" Through the Decades. _

"Who the freak wrote this one?" He scanned the cover for a name, and I gasped at the same time he did when he saw the author. Then we errupted in laughter. "Emmett C." We both turned our faces towards Emmett at the same time. We didn't know he could write.

"No, no, the other book's not here," Carlisle whispered to himself." It's somewhere in hiding. The book we have now is the history of the Second Volturi, and the other book , the sequel to this one, explains the prophecy."

"Well, where can we find it then?" Jacob asked. Carlisle left the book case, books on the floor and all, and headed back over to where we were sitting. "I guess we should ask Peter that ourselves," Carlisle said curtly. "But there's no time for that," he said, smiling at Renesmee. "It's Renesmee's 16th birthday tomorrow." And it was true. This birthday held more than presents and birthday cake. The Present, the Present that would change our lives, would arrive tomorrow, and there was not enough time in the world to prepare for it. Not even an eternity.

_Not even an eternity. _

_Stay tuned for Renesmee's 16__th__ birthday.....the birthday of a life time. _


	16. Gift

Hey, guys! It's Breanna! It's been SO LONG since I have last updated and I want to shoot myself for not adding to this story sooner...BUT I PROMISE YOU...I SWEAR ON IT, that there will be tons of next chapters coming because Christmas break has just started! :D Hope your holiday is filled with love and joy...

Merry CHRISTmas,

- B

"Do I have to do this?" Renesmee asked as we walked up the stairs to the house. "I might do something stupid." It was Renesmee's birthday today and she had unfortunately inherited my tensity to fall and trip on any perfectly stable surface. Or make trouble wherever she went. But, Charlie was holding her, so I knew he wouldn't let her go.

"Yah, you have to! Come on, it won't be that bad, sweetie! Alice wanted to do this. You know how much this means to her." Jacob said.

Renesmee sighed and rolled her eyes. "I know." Whenever she did that, she looked exactly like Edward. Renesmee actually inherited more of Edward than she did me, fortunately. I didn't want my inperfection to be mixed with "angelicy" . When she was a baby, you could see Edward in the shape of her face and in her long flawless body. Her skin was pale like a vampire's although she was human, and her face was perfect. Her cheekbones curved in perfectly axceting her beautiful brown eyes and her lips. Renesmee inherited my brown eyes and eybrows and the mixture of me and Edward made Renesmee even more beautiful than Edward. A definite impossibility, right? But it's true.

Now, Renesmee being two, but having the body of a 16 year old, was absolutely stunning. Her hair went down to the small of her back in beautiful brown ringlets acceted with hints of orange hilights that must have come from Charlie. She didn't need to wear makeup, she was stunning either way. She had long eyelashes and eyebrows that were arched beautifully. When she smiled, you could still get a hint of the dimples she used to have when she was a child. But, Renesmee's beauty did cause problems wherever she went. Of course people couldn't help but stare at her including men older than her, and Jacob couldn't help but feel angry. Jacob tried so hard not to lose it in front of mortals so he wouldn't turn into a werewolf, and he tried hard enough. He didn't change once to our disbelief.

"You got to close your eyes!" Jacob said to Renesmee jokingly as he put his hand over her face. "You can't see."

Renesmee playfully smacked his hand away.

"Ow," Jacob said sarcastically.

"Come on guys," Edward said by the door. They are just about dying in there." I pushed Jacob and Renesmee forward, and Jacob led Renesmee through the door by her elbows and playfully leading her into walls. Edward hesitated, not knowing if he should let them continue like that. He looked at me for an answer and I nodded telling him it was okay.

Jacob lead Renesmee to the middle of the room by the black piano and took his hand away from Renesmee's face. "You can open your eyes now," Jacob whispered into her ear.

I had the pleasure of watching Renesmee's eyes grow wide at the first view of the decorations in the room. I knew she was blushing and was embarrassed that she was the center of attention, but the surprise of the room outlawed all that.

"Wow!" Charlie exclaimed with surprise. "You guys sure do clean up well."

The room was very similar to what it looked like at my party. I didn't know if this meant that bad things were to come, but it was weird experiencing the de ja vu that suddenly overcame me. There were glass bowls full of purple and white marigrolds scattered all over the room. Alice didn't put the bowls anywhere were they could fall over- she remembered what had happened last time, and was making precautions that it wouldn't happen again. The mood lights reflected off the glass bowls of flowers casting beautiful colors all over the room It was beautiful. Absoultely beautiful. Perfect for my daughter and her 3rd birthday.

"Oh my God," Renesmee whispered to herself with tears in her eyes. "This is absolutely beautiful." I looked over at Carlisle and the rest of the family and they were smiling. Alice was smiling at me, happy that Renesmee would accept a party given to her.

"You like it!" Alice said in an exicted voice. "I picked the purple and white marigolds because that was the first color that came to my mind when I thought of you."

Renesmee walked over to the flowers on the piano and leaned over to smell them. "I love it! These flowers are perfect! But, I heard these only grew in Scotland. How did you get them?"

"I went over there myself," Alice said in an "of course" voice. "I didn't want my niece having cheap, yellow marigolds on her birthday. You know I wouldn't have allowed it!"

Renesmee smiled. "Thank you Alice, and everyone else. It's truly beautiful."

"Like you," Jacob whispered into her ear as he put his arms around her waist. Carlisle and Esme smiled at Renesmee.

"Ahh," Esme whispered. Renesmee smiled. Edward did not. He was being a father, but he needed to lay off. They were in love, like we were.

"So," Edward said interrupting the sweet silence. "Jacob, why don't you get the presents out of the car."

Jacob shot an antagonistic glare towards Edward before he walked out of the room. Renesmee turned towards us and gave out a teenagerish squeal. "I'm glad I came!" Renesmee exclaimed. "What was your party like? I haven't heard any of the stories that you are just dying to tell me," she said sarcastically.

"Actually," Emmett said behind me making me jump. "Why don't we share them at dessert."

"Yah," I said sarcastically. "Let's talk about me on her birthday. No! It's her day! And we have other things anyway."

"What other things?" Renesmee asked

"I'll tell you later." There were plenty of things to discuss with Renesmee I just didn't know when to tell her.

At that moment Jacob walked through the door with his arms filled with presents. I could actually hear Renesmee utter a groan. She didn't like accepting presents, but that wasn't what was making me nervous. I was afraid the same thing that happened with me would somehow find its way with Renesmee. I was worried that there would be worst consequences this time.

"So, what do you want to do? Open presents, or have desert?" Alice asked.

"Opening presents would be good," Renesmee answered nervously. In the midst of it all, I was glad Renesmee was dealing with this with more ease than I ever did.

We followed Jacob to the table where he placed the presents down gently. "Which one do you want to open first?" Alice asked excitingly. "You can open mine first, if you want," Alice hinted. Renesmee smiled and shrugged. Alice reached for a thin package at the end of the table wrapped in purple and white paper, and hesitating, handed it over to Renesmee. I eyed Edward and Alice with worry, but they let her continue.

"This is from Carlisle and Esme," Alice said in a bored voice. "Be careful."

Renesmee reached for the package and eyed the wrapping paper for a minute before she opened it.

Everyone held their breath as Renesmee slowly unwrapped the package. You could feel the anxiety in the room. Jasper wasn't helping because he himself was worrying that he would lose control and do something stupid. But, I knew and he knew too, that he wouldn't do that. But, there was always the chance that Peter and Charlotte would come back from wherever they were hiding, and Godforbid something happened…. …..They could smell the blood and involuntarily combust bringing destruction in their path. It wasn't really a chance we were all willing to face, but it was Renesmee's birthday, and we wanted her to enjoy it all.

Jasper had enough time and practice to get used to the scent of blood. My blood. I just wasn't sure that Renesmee's blood was as addicting as mine, and I hoped that I would never find out.

Renesmee held the unwrapped box in her hands carefully and took the top off and placed it gently on the table. She did this so gracefully that I thought there was something wrong. But, I should've known. As she figured out what it was she jumped out of her chair and squealed. .It freaked me out at first because I thought she had cut her finger and something had gone wrong. But, it was just a ticket. Of course. Carlisle and Esme always gave out tickets to go places because they had accumulated so many of them by going to different places and earning travel points for all their travels. They probably just bought this one knowing that there was thousands if not millions of traveling miles in their account going to waste.

"Well, what is it?" Rosalie asked as she leaned over the table to get a better glimpse of the present.

"It's a ticket, dim-witt!" Jacob muttered. "What do you think it is?" Rosalie got out of her chair but then stopped when she realized what she was doing.

"Wait, you're not worth it!" Rosalie muttered back. "Never have, never will, mongrel."

"Woah," Emmett said. "Hold on girl. You need to stop. And so do you."

"Stop!" Renesmee exclaimed in a voice of disappointment. "Just stop." Everyone froze at what they were doing and sat down.

"Sorry," Rosalie murmured annoyingly.

"Now, Rosalie, and anyone who just needs to know what it is, it's actually ticket_s _to Italy." Renesmee was elated at this present that her face lit up like a kid's on Christmas morning. I knew what she was thinking. She would never get to step foot out of the house again. That incident with Jacob was too much. She knew better.

She looked at Carlisle and Esme at the end of the table. "Thank you, guys, so much! I can't wait to go. I just want to jump on a plane right now!"

"I'm glad you like it," Esme said.

"Thank you, Carlisle and Esme. She's always wanted to go to Rome ever since she was a baby. She just about pulled my ear off telling me how much she wished we lived there."

"You're welcome. " Carlisle smiled at Renesmee. "I'm glad we could be of some help."

Charlie got out of his chair and his eyes were all wide as Renesmee placed the plane tickets on the table. He was surprised that Renesmee got plane tickets for her birthday, and he was probably embarrassed that he didn't get her anything nicer.

I patted Charlie on the back assuring him that his present fine.

"Wow," Charlie said leaning over Renesmee so he can see the tickets. "These aren't coach are they?"

The whole family looked at Charlie with surprise. "Of course not," Alice said. "I'm not going to give Renesmee coach on her birthday." Charlie backed up offended.

"Okay," Charlie said in disbelief. I knew he still loved Alice out of all the Cullens, but he was getting sick of her and the family for some reason I didn't know about.

The present opening continued like this with thank you,s yelling, fighting, and tearing up. Renesmee started tearing up when Charlie gave her some pepper spray and a gift card to Victoria's Secret. The poor guy didn't know any better. Jacob laughed when Renesmee blushed as she discovered where the gift card was used for. Edward knew that Jacob had the wrong ideas of what he wanted her to buy there, so I knew that he wanted me to talk to her about that. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper gave her a paint set fully equipped with canvases and all the brand name paint and virtually, everything else. I fought with Alice over this for hours, and she won. She decided to buy Renesmee a car. Not just a car, but a Porsche Carrera GT. I knew Renesmee was going to wreck it the first time she drove it, that's why I pleaded with Alice if she was going to get a car for her 15th birthday it would be a cheaper one, but Alice insisted that we get her this. I couldn't fight with Alice for long.

When it came around for our present for Renesmee it was twilight. Perfect for what Edward was going to do.

For my birthday, Edward had written me a lullaby and a CD of his compositions. I didn't urge him to not but anything for Renesmee's birthday, but by himself, just like he did for me, he wrote dozens of songs Renesmee had been the inspiration for.

As we finished the desert and the other presents, Edward gracefully walked over to the piano in the middle of the room. He patted the seat beside him and Renesmee followed. Everyone flowed into the living room and waited for Edward do start.

Renesmee looked at Edward with admiration and tears in her eyes when he placed his hands on the piano and she realized that this was the best present of all.

"This is for Renesmee," Edward said as he started the lullaby. "And what she does to me every time I see her." It was beautiful watching Edward and Renesmee. It was looking at myself from the outside, seeing myself fall in love with him again.

Renesmee smiled and placed her hand around Edward's waist and pressed her lips tenderly to his cheek. "Thank you," she said softly into her ear. "For everything."

Everyone went silent as the composition took in full meaning. It was beautiful. It reminded me of a sunrise...How the sun rises in the morning. And she was the sun. A little sunshine. Perfect for Jacob because he had been mine.

I watched Renesmee as she took in the wonder and the beauty of the song. I knew what she was thinking because I had once been in her seat. All of these emotions were clouding her mind at once that all she could comprehend was the thing reflecting them all.

As the song drifted to a close and into a new one, Edward took his eyes off the piano and put them on Renesmee. I knew he was fascinating over her and how he could have gotten so much out of just a few years. His life had changed so suddenly, changed paths, once he saw me. Now, just 2 years later he had a daughter who was 15. A beautiful daughter that reflected the beauty of himself and his reason for existence. A treasure and a dream.

Edward smiled when Renesmee mouthed the word "wow". Edward turned his head back from Renesmee and put his eyes on me and smiled that crooked smile that yet again took my breath away.

As the song drifted to a close, so did the party. It went into a more serious night.

I knew we had to tell Charlie about the new family members, and we knew it wouldn't be easy. He didn't completely understand all complications that came with being our kind, so all we had to do was tell him the basics, and he would believe what he would want to believe.

"So, Charlie, we have something to tell you," Alice said after Edward got off the piano. "A very important thing to tell you."

Charlie stiffened on the couch. "What?" He asked with a voice of worry. He was anticipating something worse than it actually was.

"Charlie, you can't freak out because this is very important." Alice said in a quite voice trying not to scare him. I didn't know why new family members would freak him out, but he would have to stay away from them for a while so they could get accustomed to human blood. After all, if I came from Charlie and he had the same addicting blood too, I wouldn't want him hanging around some crazed, obsessed newborns.

"Okay, start," Charlie said as he turned on a lamp on the side table beside him.

"Carlisle," Alice said telling him to explain it. Carlisle nodded and put his head towards Charlie.

"Well, Charlie, we are not the only-you know- out there. You know that it wasn't an animal that killed Wailen at the Grisham Mill a few years ago." Charlie couldn't handle hearing the name of mythical creatures thanks to Jacob's surprise confession a couple of years ago.

"I kind of figured that one out myself," Charlie said to himself knowing that we would be able to hear him.

Carlisle nodded and continued. "Anyways, there is going to be an addition to the family."

I looked at Charlie as his jaw dropped open. I suddenly knew what Alice was talking about. Charlie was going to freak out because he either thought I was pregnant or someone else was.

Carlisle waited for Charlie to control himself. Charlie looked over at me with wide eyes.

Charlie carefully pronounced all the words carefully. "Bells, you are pregnant?"

"No, no! Not at all! Carlisle wasn't meaning that!" I quickly said. Charlie gave out a sight of relief.

"Thank you," Charlie said. " I wasn't ready for two. I'm still young you know." I smiled.

"I know," I said as I put back the fading Grey hair on the top of his head. "Really young."

"Anyways," Carlisle said. "I'll get straight to the point. "There is some injured- you know whos-who are in this house right now healing. After they have recovered, we are welcoming them into the family. They want to learn our….ways."

"Really?" Charlie asked. "Are the dangerous?" The mood in the room suddenly changed. It went from the tone of excitement from Edward's piano performance, to anxiety and fear.

"Yah, they could be," Carlisle answered in a voice that showed that he wasn't sure if he should be telling Charlie this. It could give out too much information and God forbid draw the Volturi here.

"Well, then. Why are you letting them stay here?"

Everyone held there breath. "Because," Carlisle said with confidence. "I believe that they will be able to adapt to our lifestyle and just maybe change others. There, I just said it, and I think I said enough."

I eyed Carlisle knowing that he had gone too far and now Charlie would be pestering us with questions.

"Sorry," Charlie said. "I will go now. I know enough." Charlie got out of his seat and headed for the door.

"Charlie, stay!" Renesmee yelled. "We are not done. There's more to do. Alice says that when you turn 15 that I will inherit a new gift. Don't you want to see it happen?"

Charlie sighed and turned around heading back for the couch. You couldn't not listen to Renesmee, she was known to dazzle people just like her father.

Charlie turned from the direction of the door to Renesmee. He went over to the one he was only staying for.

"Sure, I'll stay." Charlie said sourly.

"Now, what about that extra gift." Alice said in a excited voice that was meant to be fake. I was worried about whatever this extra gift was. If it was what Renesmee inherited on her birthday, I hoped it was a milestone that ended something. I hoped it ended her speeded growth and she would stop growing once she reached the body of an eighteen year old.

Alice walked over to Renesmee and sat on the other side of her. She held both of Renesmee's hands in hers, and got ready to speak. " Renesmee, as you have heard from Nahuel, the only other person in the world like you, inherited a gift when he turned two years old, or otherwise 15. He told me that the gift wouldn't stop any growth until you had the body of an eighteen year old, then it would stop and the gift would continue." Alice stopped so Renesmee could comprehend what she was saying. "Well, you are 15, and the gift is the caregiver's to give you. Now, all the mothers died, except yours. Now, since you have a real mother, I believe some more extraordinary will happen. I just don't know what.

"What do I have to do?" I asked.

"Well, I heard from Nahuel that to transfer the gift, you have to touch her hands. I heard that some of your powers will weaken when you transfer it, but it will come back, I think."

"You think," Edward said. "What if it doesn't?"

"If it doesn't, then it doesn't" Alice said. "Is it worth having Renesmee die at 15 years or having her live forever? What do you think Bella would do?"

Edward looked at me. "Bella?" he asked.

"Edward, of course. I'd rather give up my powers to Renesmee so she can live. Of course."

"Okay, Bella." Edward said simply.

"Let's get this over with," I said. I walked over to Renesmee and grabbed her hands.

At the moment we touched the room became blurry. I felt the power in me flow out of my veins into my daughter's. It was a feeling that I would never forget for the rest of my existence. I felt connected to my daughter by the power that had protected me many times before. In a couple of moments that seemed like hours, it was only me and Renesmee. At that moment, I knew that any other connection I would have with my daughter wouldn't be as powerful as this one. I could see what my daughter had seen, seen what she had been doing, seen her view of the world. I felt what she had felt every time she was around Jacob. I could feel the chills he brought along her skin every time he touched her. All at one time. As suddenly it came, it ended. Before I knew it ended, I was staring at Renesmee realizing what had just happened.

"Is it over?" Renesmee whispered.

"I think it is," Alice said in disbelief. I looked around the room and everyone was shocked.

"Bella, are you okay?" Carlisle said with concern. "Transferring something from your body to another can sometimes make you feel woozy or disoriented."

I shook my head. "No, I mean yah. I'm okay. It was just shocking." Great, I screwed up. I guess I was woozy. I couldn't answer a straight question.

" Okay, Bella." Carlisle looked over to Renesmee. "Are you okay?"

"Yah," Renesmee said in a reassuring voice. "When will I find out what my power is and when it will take affect?"

"Well, I did some research from Nahuel, and he told me that it took a couple of minutes for the gift to take affect. He also told me that it will feel like you are living in someone else's body for a while, but then it will go away,"

Renesmee shoke her head. "Yah, I do feel a little weird but at least it will go away. But, has anyone ever had two gifts before?"

Carlisle seemed pleasured to answer this question. " Of your kind, no, but there has been only one other person or vampire that we know of that has two gifts. He is apart of the Volturi. His name is Lucas. He is the oldest member of all of them. He actually founded the Volturi. But Aro took over, and Lucas is in the background. But that's good, because he has slaughtered the most people and taken in the most vampires with gifts."

Jacob stood up. "Are you saying that this Lucas might find out about Renesmee and take her? Why!"

"Jacob, Alice and I have thought about this even before she was born or had been given her second gift. The Volturi want her because she is like a rare flower. They collect them to show off and to gather the most power. They will do almost anything to get the precious flowers but they always give the flower a choice." Carlisle said.

"But she has two gifts making her even more rare, they will want her no matter what. They won't give her a decision, they'll make her do it! How will you stop them then?" What Jacob was saying was very true, and it was what I was dreading out of Renesmee's existence. I didn't want her to be dragged in to be apart of the Volturi even if that meant I would have to take her place. Now, she had a second gift that we didn't even know how if affected her, and the Volturi would find out very soon and want her. They would find someone to get her, someway that they would make sure would be the most disastrous of all the ways.

I looked over at Renesmee and by the look on her face she was absolutely terrified. She didn't know much about the Volturi, but from the little stories I has told tell her about them she knew you did not anger the Volturi or else. Or else you wouldn't get out alive.

Carlisle continued. "Jacob, we know that. The Volturi will most likely found out about this in the next few weeks. Renesmee having an extra gift will give them more of the reason to come to Forks and take her. We just don't know when if they are going to do it." Carlisle got up and went across the room to where Jacob was sitting. "I tell you this much, Jacob, we won't leave her out of sight. Never. We know how much she means to you. We know how much she means to us. " The room went silent. All there was the soft sound of the wind blowing through the curtains in the dining room. At that moment, for some reason, I remembered Charlie. I knew he had seen and heard too much. At that moment, Edward sensed what I had remembered and interrupted the silence.

"Well, I think that's enough for one night." Edward eyed Carlisle as he said this. "We're overwhelming Charlie, and he can see Renesmee tomorrow."

At Edward's words Charlie got up. "Yah, it's getting late and I'm pretty tired. Plus, my back is hurting." Charlie walked over to Renesmee and kissed her on her head. "I love you kid," He said as Renesmee hugged him back. "Stay safe."

"You too," Renesmee said gently. "Thanks for coming. It means a lot."

"You're welcome. Come over to my place anytime." Charlie walked towards me and hugged me. "That kid is something," Charlie said. " I have this feeling that I'm going to lose her soon. Please keep her safe, she and you are the most important things in my life." Charlie sensed that something was wrong, and he thought he was going to lose us. Exactly. This life of mine was too big for his.

"Don't worry, Dad," I said as I hugged him. "We're not going anywhere." Charlie kissed my forehead and headed for the door. Before he could open it, Renesmee said one more thing showing me that she too knew that she might not see her grandfather again. It broke my heart. You couldn't have everything.

"Charlie," she said quickly. "I love you, forever, always have, and always will." She understood the gravity of this situation. She understood that she might not make it out alive, but she didn't know that I would be dead first before that chance even had the possibility of being true.

"Love you too, kid." Charlie said through tears. His face lightened up, he was softer.

At these words I knew Charlie had heard and understood too much. He knew too much about them, and there was a possibility that they would find that out. It was too much to risk with him staying around here now. I just didn't want to say goodbye.

As I walked to his car, I knew I had to tell him that he couldn't come over anymore. He would be caught up in something bigger than him, he couldn't keep up, and it would be dangerous for him.

As he went into the car and was about to shut the door, my smart side took over. It was also the side that had let my heart break so many times before. "Charlie, you can't come over here anymore. It'll be too…dangerous."

Charlie looked at me with surprise. "What do you mean? I can't..come….over anymore. Is this some kind of joke?"

"No." I said simply.

"But, I want to see Renesmee. I want to see you."

I sighed through a closed throat. " I know, but that's why you can't come. It will be too dangerous for you, please understand." I closed my eyes so I didn't have to see the betrayal and the traces of heart break on his face. "I just wanted to say that. Please understand." Charlie didn't answer.

"Daddy," I pleaded. I couldn't speak anymore. This was the first time in years that I had called him that. "You need to understand. The Cullens, think you shouldn't hang around anymore. Just like me, I was in danger every time I was around them. The same with you. You are constantly in danger when you are by us. " I knew what Edward was feeling when he told me these exact same words. You so wanted to believe that the words weren't true, but you knew they were, and you also knew that you had to say them no matter how painful it was. You knew that it would break your heart more than it broke theirs.

"So, you want me to stay away," Charlie said through tears. "Did I do something?"

I tried to speak through a closed throat as best as I could. He needed to understand what I was saying to the best of his ability. "No, you didn't do anything. It was just us." It was just _me, _I whispered to myself.

"So, I can't come around, ever, anymore?" he said with a sense of more betrayal on his face. I was breaking his heart for the second time and it was more than I could bear. This time, he wouldn't be able to forgive me. I wouldn't be around to realize it if he actually did. But, I had to answer his question. It was the only way he would leave.

"No," I said. It wasn't true what I said, but I knew the only way he would be safe was if he never came around anymore.

Charlie wasn't expecting that. He turned his head from me, and started the ignition.

"Charlie, wait." I said reaching out for him. "I'll tell you when it's safe again. I'll come back when it's safe enough for you to be by us. I promise."

Charlie looked at me with pity. He should, I was on the ground pleading with him. I was there for a good reason though. I was promising once everything was done with and it was safe again, I would visit him again, and we could hang out again like we used to when I was still human. I promised myself this wouldn't be the last time I saw him, no matter how much I knew it wasn't true.

"I guess I should go," Charlie said through a closed throat. "I've been here too long." Before he could reach his hand for the steering wheel, my hand was on his.

"Wait, Dad, there's one more thing." Charlie hesitated at my words but then took his hand off the wheel. " I love you, Dad, forever. Thank you, for all you have done. I promise, I'll come back. No matter how hard it is to do so." My voice was just a whisper now.

Charlie took his right hand and gently raced it over my cheekbones. "I love you too, Bella. Forever. I know I wasn't the best dad, but I did my best, kid." Charlie stumbled a little with his words. He still didn't fully comprehend the words that I was speaking, but he sensed the love that was required to speak them. I couldn't speak even if I could. This moment was so precious, yet so sad at the same time that it would stick with me forever. I refused to forget the last minute, the last second, I had with my father. I nodded in response instead.

Charlie took his hand off my face and kissed me on the forehead. He kept his lips there and cradled my head in his hands.

"Bella," he said in a soft but determined voice. "Why?" His voice was just a whisper now, and I sensed that he wasn't really speaking to me, but rather to himself. I had no response for that one word that Charlie uttered, because that was the same exact question I was asking myself.

I got up and backed up. My father looked at me and me at him as he started the ignition once again. "Bye, Bella," Charlie said. _Bye, Bye, Bella..._.Charlie's words echoed in my head and throbbed against my temples. If only I had know that these few words would haunt me forever at night would I have stopped Charlie from saying them.

"Love you too," I managed to choke out softly. And that was it. Charlie started the car and as I saw the last trace of the headlights, I fell onto the grassy ground. . There was relief and sadness. Relief that I had gotten it over with. Sadness as I realized the terrible fact that I would never see my father again. Ever. But I did have a promise to make. **I would come back, no matter where this new life took me.**

I figured that Edward knew what had happened and would come out to look for me eventually, so I stayed on that floor letting the pain and truth consume me entirely. I drifted through unconsciousness for long periods of time that did nothing but ease the pain for a while.

The truth. Hard to comprehend, and equally troubling to explain. I lost my father, and possibly my daughter and maybe Alice. I lost myself. If I lost all these people, I wouldn't be the same. Never would be. There was pain that love could no mend. No matter how affecting that love had been before, it would never heal again.

I was sure that I would never again see the face of my father. Maybe his headstone, but never that face I had looked at so many times before and seen love hidden somewhere in there. Love that he tried to express, but was hidden deep inside there. Hidden under the pain this world has inflicted on him. Hidden under the pain I had inflicted on him. So, on the ground, I let myself wander. Wander of the time I did have with him. The times that I thought had been so complicated, but yet now, seemed so simple. The times that I had taken for granted before I met Edward. I wished I had spent more time with Charlie when I still could, but I guess that was what everyone felt after they lost somebody. They wished they could take it all back and enjoy the times they still had with them.

In the back of my eyelids, I could see my father. Could see him through my eyes as a child, as tween, teen, and a vampire. Could see all the times I had seen him through the films of tears, through the films of happiness, through the films that declared they hated Forks, needed to get out. But, those films were everything. They were the way I viewed my father. All different, yet the same when you really saw what was in my eyes behind the films. One view of my father was always certain, I would always love him, and if it wasn't for him, I was positive that I wouldn't be here now. If I hadn't escaped to him in Forks, I wouldn't have met Edward.

This was the way things played out. Fate. Fate is so clearly seen, but so hard to actually discover. I was positive it was fate that brought me to Edward. We were destined for each other. I truly believed that I existed for Edward. To make him whole again, to give him reason to live. And I guess he was the same to me…

I drifted in and out of consciousness to the throbbing of Charlie's words behind my ears and the dark contrast of the promise I had made.

**I would come back, no matter where this new life took me.**

****

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	17. Waking Up

"Bella, Bella." I heard my reason for existence say in a worried tone. "Please, Bella. Wake up."

I so wanted to, but the darkness was so pain free that I couldn't escape. I was in a abyss that I didn't want to escape from.

"Alice!" Edward yelled with is head toward the house. I heard a group of footsteps shuffling towards me immediately after he said this.

Alice kneeled down by my side and touched the palms of my hands. "Bella, listen to me. You need to wake up. Renesmee's in there. She's worried. I know what happened. But, they are worried in there."

Alice couldn't bring me to reality. I only knew who could.

"Bella," Edward said as he wiped his hand against my forehead. Come on, we need you. She needs you." I waited a few seconds before I even thought of answering. Before I could, I was in Edward's arms. I knew he was taking me somewhere. It was the right thing to do. He wouldn't leave me on the floor. I wouldn't be able to move myself and I would literally be left there to rot.

As Edward carried me in his arms, I felt the heat of his breath on my face and the disappointment layering it. I was disappointing him, not answering. Disappointing Renesmee. Disappointing everyone, once again. Suddenly, I plunged out of the darkness that was overwhelming my body and mind.

"Bella?" Edward said with relief.

"Yes," I said in a whisper.

"Oh, thank God," Edward said as he kissed my forehead. "I thought you were dead there on the ground when I first saw you.

"I really did look horrible, didn't I." I said looking at his perfect face.

He hesitated. "No, but you looked terrible pain wise."

"Figures," I said smiling looking at the green walls passing us. I didn't know where he was taking me. All I knew was that there was a party going on and it was my duty to be there.

"Edward, where are we going," I said in a worried voice as I turned my head to see if there was any signs giving our position away.

"I'm taking you home. You need rest. You have had enough for a day."

"But, Renesmee, the party. I'm supposed to be there."

"Don't worry, everything is under control. Renesmee knows what has happened." Edward frowned as he realized what he was going to say next. "She's with Jacob."

"Of course," I whispered. "But still, I need to help Alice clean up, and gather the presents, and-"

"Shhh," Edward said as he put his finger gently to my mouth. "Stop worrying. You need a break. Alice is watching them and Jacob is with Renesmee. The Volturi won't come when Jacob and Alice are around her."

I relaxed and closed my eyes. The next thing I felt was Edward prying his fingers off my shirt. I suddenly opened my eyes, and found myself laying in his arms. There was questions to ask. Possibly more than he could answer and had time to.

"Edward, is it active yet?" I didn't know how to say the gift because I didn't know what it was.

"Yes, but it's hard to explain. She didn't even try it out. She went out with Jacob instead." Edward said with disgust.

"Edward, you need to stop that. She's a _teenager. _She's supposed to do that."

"But, she spends so much time with him. That mong-" I frowned and he stopped before he could continue.

"Edward, I know how bad this sounds. But she is older; you need to later her roam…free. Not necessarily all over the place, but to a point where she can be independent and have her own life. She's not a little girl anymore."

"Bella, I know. And you know how much I wish it wasn't true, it's just, after all that Jacob has done with you after I left….you alone. I feel like I can't trust him. He's betrayed me, and I have to him, I just can't leave him with someone who means so much to me. I don't feel like I can trust him."

"Edward, you just have to trust Jacob. He trusts you, and Renesmee, she's in love with him. There's no fighting him now. You know how it feels like to be in love. Let them have their chance, like we had ours."

Edward kissed me on the forehead and then sighed. " I guess I'm going to have to start calling him my son-in-law. Uggh, it sounds so wrong! He's just so immature when he's with Renesmee. He needs to be more responsible, more protective."

"You really think he isn't protective of her? " I asked in a surprised voice. "When some man gets near here, you should see him. He adjusts his surroundings and body so he can protect her." I suddenly remembered what my mother said before Edward and I got married. She said it was weird how my and Edward's body were connected to each other. If he moved, I would move to adjust to him. I guess he was just trying to protect me, but I knew it was something more. " And, Edward, you had your moments too. You would be kiddish in a great once in a while." I smiled remembering the times when he first met me. He was stoked with happiness that he finally found his soul mate.

Edward smiled and we started laughing. I tried my hardest not to forget all the times I had with him because I was afraid they would end, but I would still have the memory of the time we did have with each other.

"My point is, you need to let Renesmee be a teenager. She needs to experience these things. When I touched her when I was transferring the gift, I felt connected to her. I felt everything she felt, including the way she felt around Jacob." I decided to leave out the part that I had felt everything when Jacob touched her, that would be going too far. " I also felt what she felt when you and I were mad at Jacob at what they were doing. You don't know how betrayed she felt. She felt you approved of Jacob."

I let Edward take in what I was saying for a couple of seconds. Renesmee was growing up. He had to accept that. She was as normal as a 15 year old teenager, and got in trouble. It was normal. It was like me. He just had to let his little girl go no matter how much be didn't want to. I didn't want Renesmee to grow up, it was the natural reaction. I wanted her to stay with me as a child I had control over. But, people grow up, they move on. They live. They move on to make room for others.

I was surprised when Edward answered. He was totally off the subject and it wasn't like him. "Do you think the gift is going to stop the growth?"

"I don't know," I answered into his white t-shirt. "She's the first, and Nahuel was different. I do want it to work, at the same time I don't want it to.."

"What do you mean?" Edward asked as he traced patterns on my arm. "I thought you only sticked to one side of the story."

"I guess not now." I sighed. "I don't want Renesmee to be stuck like we are." I shut my mouth knowing I had said too much. I continued so Edward couldn't start making the wrong assumptions. "I don't mean it like that. I mean, once Renesmee reaches a certain age, Jacob is going to continue grow. But Renesmee isn't. Jacob is going to die, eventually. But, Renesmee, she isn't. I want her to enjoy the time she still has with Jacob, before it's gone."

"Damn, Bella. You don't like this life. It was my fault, I shouldn't have taken you there, I should have left.."

"No, Edward," I said interrupting him. "I meant I don't want her to be immortal like us. I didn't mean it in that sense."

"But when you use, "stuck" it sounds like something else."

"I know, Edward, I know. Bad usage of words. Anyways, that doesn't matter. I would rather be stuck with you than live without you."

"Bella, I don't deserve you. You too good for me," Edward said as he kissed my forehead. I wanted to reply back saying I was the lucky one, but that would ruin the moment.

"Edward, but what do you think will happen?"I asked, purposely focusing my eyes onto his.

Edward tightened his arms around. "I don't know, Bella. But, who knows? Something might happen to Jacob and he'll stop growing. It might be an imprinting thing. You adjust yourself so you can live with your mate. That means he might stop growing to accustom himself with Renesmee." He kissed my forehead. "You never know. There has never been anything like Jacob and Renesmee before. Nothing like you and I. But if we worked out, then I'm lead to the conclusion that they will too." I wanted to believe his words. I didn't want Jacob to die. I didn't want Renesmee to die. But, it wasn't our choice. It was fate's. I didn't want to make Renesmee and Jacob immortal if they didn't want to. I wanted them to decide...everyone deserves the right to have the choice.

Suddenly from nowhere, I needed to see my daughter. Needed for her to comfort me, to see she was still alive and living. Needed to see her gift. I told her at the party I had to tell her something she needed to know. It affected her and Jacob. I needed to apologize, needed to tell her what was on my mind and what exactly was going on.

I quickly got off the bed and walked to the door. Before I could open it, Edward was by my side. "Where are you going?"

I hesitated knowing he wouldn't let me out of the room but I knew that I was strong and I would find a way out of here. After all, there was always a compromise. "I need to see Renesmee. I need to talk to her. I promised I would at the party."

I opened the door, surprised that Edward was behind me. I think he knew what I was going to Renesmee's to talk about. And, he was glad that I was. But, underneath everything, I knew that this conversation wouldn't exactly be what you would call simple. It would be complicated. I would need to tell her all the things she would need to know if something happened.

As I left the safe limits of my home I was yet again positive of three things. First, my daughter, my life, was in the desires of every member of people who I had once rushed towards to save the reason for my existence. Second, there was a new part of her, and I didn't know how desirable that part might be, that made _them_ thirst for her blood even more. And thirdly, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.


End file.
